Crossroads
ISLAND LIFE COLUMNIST
Dr Philip Brownell, M.Div., Psy.D. is a clinical psychologist licensed in the United States and Registered in Bermuda. He is also an organisational consultant and competent to work in groups. Here in Bermuda he offers psychotherapy and assessment for older children, adolescents, adults, and couples through Benedict Associates, but psychology is a second career. He is an ordained clergyman and served large urban and suburban churches as well as small, rural churches before returning to school for his doctoral degree. Dr Brownell is a writer and trainer in the application of evidence-based, contemporary gestalt therapy. He has authored and/or edited four books, the latest one being Gestalt Therapy for Addictive and Self-Medicating Behaviors, and he is active internationally at professional conferences and through training workshops. He enjoys playing guitar, and he has three grown children, one grandchild, and lives with his wife, Linda, and their four cats in Southampton.
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May 14, 2013 8:00 am
Some things cannot be tweaked
Not everything can be tweaked. I am not referring here to the Pollyanna principle in which people identify with every positive statement made about them (and ignore everything else).
An extension of that is to think that everything is wonderful and everything is going to remain wonderful. -
May 7, 2013 8:00 amThe four options for integrative psychotherapy
I was reading recently that roughly half of the psychotherapists practicing today identify themselves as being integrative. That means they do work that transcends in some way an adherence to any single approach to psychotherapy. So, what are the options in practicing an integrative approach? There are four. The primary models of psychotherapy integration are common factors, technical eclecticism, assimilative integration, and theoretical...
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Apr 30, 2013 8:00 am
A time for everything and all things must pass
In 1970 George Harrison released “All Things Must Pass,” which was a three-record set, but also the title of one of the songs in that collection. He had been languishing under the domination of Lennon and McCartney but had been encouraged through collaborations with Eric Clapton, Bob Dylan and The Band, Delaney & Bonnie, and Billy Preston among others. His magnum opus came out just seven months after the Beatles had passed, and George...
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Mar 26, 2013 3:36 pm
I want to watch the cat watch the rain
It’s raining. Our cat is captivated. She usually likes to sit in the bathtub, swat the hose going up to the shower head, and then chase the drops of water that fall back down toward her face.
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Mar 12, 2013 8:00 am
Be sure your sins will find you out
Karma is a system for understanding social justice. It is the response to a person wondering why some people are so privileged while other people languish in poverty. Karma relies on the belief that people are born over and over and reap in the next life what they have sewn in the previous life. Thus, if a person has been virtuous, loving, kind, giving, respectful, fair, and benevolent in this life, then he or she will somehow be rewarded for it...
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Mar 5, 2013 8:50 am
What makes you happy?
When it comes down to it, most people coming for psychotherapy do so because they are unhappy. We live in a paradise, and one might look out across the Great Sound, or gaze at the horizon at Daniel’s Head as the sun is going down and wonder how anyone could be unhappy in a place like this. I learned some time ago, however, that place is important, but it’s not everything. One can have a hellish experience in paradise.
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Feb 26, 2013 8:00 am
Argument for my relationship with God
We all have a world view. It is what matches our phenomenological horizon and limits for us what is possible. We do not even contemplate what is not possible for us, not until someone slaps us in the face with it. It is not that such a thing is inherently impossible and we are unable to contemplate it, it’s just that we do not think of it on our own, and it certainly does not break the surface of our interest. In addition to this we all...
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Jan 29, 2013 8:00 amThe balance between reason and spirituality
Sunday my wife and I went to “church” at Warwick Long Bay. We put the coffee in the Thermos. We grabbed a couple of apples. I also took a banana. We each took a book we wanted to read, and then we drove over the hill, past Astwood Park, and then down the hill into the parking area. The wind was blowing and the temperature was cold, but we rolled down the windows. The water was fairly calm, with lazy swells barely perceptible. The...
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Jan 15, 2013 8:00 am
Why it makes sense not to blend the ‘flavours’
When I was younger and used to eat ice cream with abandon, I was not content with just one flavour. If I got a cone, I’d get two different flavours. At one establishment we used to frequent they would let you choose your flavours for a banana split, and so you’d have to select three flavours of ice cream and then choose three kinds of toppings, one for each flavour.
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Dec 18, 2012 9:20 amPossible reasons behind school shooting tragedy
This is Christmas time. In churches and in homes the Bible’s Christmas story will be told. Sometimes when it is read, a person will include a little verse that tells how Mary and Joseph fled into Egypt right after Jesus was born and the three wise men had departed. That section includes the following quotation from one of the Israelite prophets: "A VOICE WAS HEARD IN RAMAH, WEEPING AND GREAT MOURNING, RACHEL WEEPING FOR HER CHILDREN; AND...
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Dec 11, 2012 8:00 am
It’s a jungle out there and we’re all like Doodle the cat
We have a big, black cat named Doodle. Doodle has yellow eyes, and he’s heavy with muscle. The hair in his coat is short. He does not shed much. He has compact, wide ears on a broad head. His hind legs have two small bald spots on his elbows, and his feet are large with sharp claws.
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Dec 4, 2012 8:00 am
Unspoken need to know what future holds
I am finite. I am limited. I cannot tell the end from the beginning. Sometimes that makes for a good time at the movies as I wait in suspense to see not only what is going to happen next, but also how it will all turn out.
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Nov 30, 2012 10:11 am
It’s who I am it’s my calling
Have you ever noticed how frequently we are defined by our job? Go to a party, start making small talk with people you meet for the first time and inevitably the question will come up, “What do you do?” They are not asking what you like to do in your spare time or if you have any particular hobbies. They want to know what your vocation is what you do for a living.
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Nov 20, 2012 8:00 am
The ways our reality is shaped
In science, especially the philosophy of science that guides how science is done, a now outworn approach was called “positivism”.
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Nov 6, 2012 8:00 amThese four matters are critical in relationships
I do a fair amount of work with couples. Some folks are married and some are not. Most are living with one another, although some have separated and they are attempting to find a way back towards one another. When I work with people I usually work with a few basic processes that emerge in their relationship. They are usually present in every relationship. They are awareness, communication, love, and trust.
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Oct 30, 2012 8:00 am
Be careful what you pray for...
In psychology character is what you do based on who you are. Or, more precisely, it is what you do based on the story you tell yourself about who you are, and that story is one that is formed over time, based on the experiences you’ve had.
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Oct 23, 2012 8:00 am
The supernatural capacity to hear God
I am wondering about our capacity to see or hear — to perceive. For instance, is “seeing” with the heart more than a metaphor? Is there a way of perceiving that exceeds our usual senses? For that matter, could it be said that there IS another sense?
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Oct 9, 2012 8:00 amChildren expand our lives, but can also bring sorrow
Children are a gift of the Lord. The Bible says that a person is blessed “whose quiver is full of them”. Sometimes when children are growing up it does not seem that they are such a blessing. Early on there are the feedings in the middle of the night, and a person wonders if he or she will ever get a good night’s sleep again. A baby’s diapers need changing. As the children get older they need attention and training; one has...
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Oct 3, 2012 3:32 pm
Self-loathing for a lifetime
This morning I read about John Malvo, the now 27-year-old man who terrorised Washington, DC about ten years ago by sniping at people from a car with high-powered rifle.
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Sep 18, 2012 6:00 am
Without these two approaches to spirituality, I can’t thrive as a Christian
Imagine it is Sunday morning, and you decide to go to church. However, you don't have a home church; it was just a wild idea that occurred to you, and now you are stuck not knowing which church to actually attend. Well, you are an adventurous, existential kind of person, so you tell yourself, “I'll just make it an adventure; I'll drive down the road until something comes over me and leads me to the place to go.”
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Sep 11, 2012 6:00 am
As you think, so you are
In 1902 James Allen wrote a little book that has become a classic. His book was titled As a Man Thinketh, and it is taken from thoughts in the book of Proverbs, namely, Proverbs 23:7. In the context that reads, “Do not eat the bread of a selfish man, or desire his delicacies; for as he thinks within himself, so he is. He says to you, “Eat and drink!” But his heart is not with you.” In the Bible the context makes it clear...
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Sep 4, 2012 12:01 am
Taking care of their worship and preaching
This last Sunday my wife and I attended Marsden First United Methodist Church on South Road, by John Smith's Bay. We were there to support our friend Eugene Phillips, who was filling in for Marsden's pastor, Rev Joseph Whalen, Jr.
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Aug 28, 2012 6:00 am
Responsibility for your life rests with you
Each person has got to live his or her own life. It is a gift and a personal responsibility.
No one else can live your life for you, and that is both a blessing and a curse. -
Aug 21, 2012 8:00 am
Recognising the signs of suicidal intent
As I write this I have learned that Tony Scott, the director of several successful action movies, has killed himself.
Apparently, he jumped off a bridge in Southern California. One of my favourite lines was in his movie, ‘Top Gun’: “You’re not going to be happy unless you’re going Mach 2 with your hair on fire.” -
Aug 14, 2012 7:00 am
Preferences and defining yourself
I am on a train heading from Boston, South Station to Penn Station in New York City. We have been spending a few days in New York and then visited family in Boston. Today, before boarding the train, we spent a couple of hours with an Italian family and friends, and they stuffed us. These people do not know the concept of moderation. They kept bringing out entree after entree, and then they kept bringing out one dessert after another. And you...
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Jul 31, 2012 8:41 amThe non-independence of relationships
I have been working with people in dyads (that’s the way some psychologists talk about it now) for many years. I have found myself in several dyads. I am in a dyad now. I have studied dyads. I have studied people who have studied dyads. I have read books on dyadic data analysis.
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Jul 24, 2012 8:00 am
Life is short, so make it count
Paul Tillich wrote about many things, but one of the ideas he promoted was that of ultimate concern. He asserted that people are most concerned about the big-ticket items of existential thought: Who am I? What am I? How did I get here? What is going to happen to me when I die? Is this all there is?
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Jul 17, 2012 8:30 am
The importance of being yourself
Once upon a time my brother and I hitchhiked from Sacramento, California up over the Sierra Nevada Mountains, across the desolate Nevada landscape, through the Utah alkali flats, into the Rocky Mountains to Laramie Wyoming, and then down into Denver Colorado.
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Jul 10, 2012 9:30 am
Take a trust walk towards a 'Brave' new world
My wife and I went to see the movie 'Brave', when it was playing at the Liberty Theatre.
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Jun 26, 2012 8:00 am
Why therapists need to understand their clients’ spiritual diversity
Most people who read my column realise that I write about spiritual issues on a regular basis. Actually, I write about issues that cross categories, including psychology, philosophy, psychotherapy, current events in Bermuda and the wider world, and so forth.
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Jun 12, 2012 8:00 am
When something has gone splat
Today I saw a news article about a prominent pastor, Creflo Dollar, who has a global television ministry on top of a 30,000 member church organisation in the United States. The news item depicted his insistence that he should never have been arrested for the alleged physical abuse of his 15-year-old daughter. He denied the charges, and his church seems to have provided him support.
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Jun 5, 2012 8:00 am
Actors and psychotherapists. Two sides of the same coin
Carpenters and plumbers have tools with which to work. One uses hammers, saws, chalk lines, and so forth to frame up walls and construct buildings. The other uses wrenches and pipes to make sure water runs smoothly through such buildings.
Other professions use different kinds of tools to get different types of things accomplished. -
May 29, 2012 8:00 am
Perhaps hypocrisy is an equal opportunity defect
Recently a professional organisation to which I belong held a community meeting at their international conference and took a vote.
They had been discussing where to hold their next major conference.
- Should liquor stores be able to sell alcohol on Sundays?
- Yes
- 71%
- No
- 27%
- Don't Know
- 1%
- Total Votes: 2016
- Poll Archive