ISLAND LIFE COLUMNIST
As you might have guessed, I'm new to this column stuff . Basically, it began when the old "ball and chain" said something like (I tend to turn off the hearing aid when she waffles on) "all you do is complain you grumpy old man, no one wants to listen to you". So to prove the old battle axe wrong, I decided to write a column about things that really get my goat! Yes, I poke fun at people, their habits, their customs and their beliefs - anything I find annoying to me personally. Nothing is sacred to me. Some people get upset and some find it funny, and that's fine with me 'cause I'm too old to care and besides, the therapist said it's good for me to get this stuff off my chest and out in the open. More importantly, I'm giving grumpy old men around the world a voice "we are old ... hear us moan and groan"!
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Feb 23, 2013 8:00 am
This huge debt is difficult to digest
Okay, I must admit this was the first budget that I was quite concerned about. Who could blame me? When I hear about our debt numbering into the billions, it makes me reach real quick for a good dose of my Pepto Bismol to help calm the panic and nausea.
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Oct 29, 2012 8:00 am
Riding out the rush hour misery
Things had been going great for a while … in case you were interested. The doc told me my blood pressure had gone down. Yes, I was beginning to feel ‘stress free’. “What have you been doing”? Asked the doc. “Getting things off my chest, it makes me feel better,” I replied. “Good. Keep it up. Now, drop ya draws,” he said with a smile. He always seems to smile when he says that. I think he relishes the idea of making life uncomfortable for me.
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Sep 24, 2012 6:00 am
Bermuda's roads, everybody's problem
When you see a country’s infrastructure starting to fall apart, it can tell you a lot about the state of their economy.
Case in point, Bermuda’s roads.
Heavens knows, our roads have been deteriorating for years and we’re not aware of any plans to repair them any time soon. -
Sep 17, 2012 12:01 am
Roads to ruin
When you see a country’s infrastructure starting to fall apart, it can tell you a lot about the state of their economy. Case in point, Bermuda’s roads. Heavens knows, our roads have been deteriorating for years and we’re not aware of any plans to repair them any time soon.
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Sep 10, 2012 12:01 am
Why do old people think they can wear Speedos?
Now, I don’t care if you like it or not, but I complain (constantly) about people that irritate me.
I’m the first to admit my age has a lot to do with it (hence the name of the column) and one of my favourite rants is the younger, unappreciative generation.
But this I got to talk about — something I’ve seen a few times, but I just can’t ignore it any more. -
Aug 27, 2012 6:00 am
Feral chickens the least of our problems
One thing us seniors get accused of is not being able to understand or communicate well with the younger generation.
Yes I’m referring to ‘the generation gap’ as it’s been called for years. Well, as far as I’m concerned, it’s not our fault — it’s the half-witted teenagers that seem to be the problem. -
Aug 20, 2012 6:00 am
If you ask a stupid question ...
I love our tourists. It's nice to see them strolling along Front Street — even if they are not purchasing anything.
It's great to see them outside looking at the menus and deciding whether they will eat on-board their ship after looking at our outrageous prices.
It's wonderful to see them dressed in their shorts and vest and with their red lobster burnt skin and smelling of coconut suntan oil. Like the advertisement says, “Bermuda, so much more”. -
Aug 13, 2012 6:00 am
Watch out for the thundering herd
I’m a big fan of the summer months; you don’t have to get bundled up to ride to work in the mornings, less traffic on the roads and weekends are reserved for things like, going to the beach, parties, BBQ’s and of course the summer office parties. Yes, good times. But there are also some annoying things that come with the hotter months, like the humidity, flies and the ‘Tupperware Taskforce’.
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Aug 6, 2012 6:00 am
Playing the name game
Some time ago I was driving into work when I came across a police checkpoint.
I, being a law-abiding citizen and having the utmost respect for our boys in blue, slowed down thinking that I would be asked to produce my licence.
However, the officer give me a quick look and came to the conclusion that I wasn't on the 'Most Wanted' list, and waved me on.
As he did, he said, “That's all right Papa, go ahead.” -
Jul 30, 2012 6:00 am
Cup Match. Not as dull as NASCAR, but pretty close
This week is Cup Match, a two-day holiday to celebrate two very important days in Bermuda's history: Emancipation Day and Somers Day.
These days should be celebrated and remembered, but I bet you if you stop any kid on the street and ask them about Emancipation Day you are going to get a blank look. Ask them about Cup Match and you will get more information than you can use. -
Jul 23, 2012 6:00 am
Closing the door on a little Saturday shopping
You know those images that we’ve all seen played out in the media and advertising campaigns of us older folks enjoying our golden years; spending the weekends gently swinging on a hammock in a well-manicured garden, sipping away on a cocktail with the wind blowing through our Grecian Formula dyed hair (or what’s left of it), listening to the whistling sound of the of the yellow breasted Kiskadee … ah, yes. Well, let me tell you that it’s a bunch of baloney. My weekends...
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Jul 16, 2012 5:00 am
Women should not be allowed to drive......SUVs
I decided that I would brave the digging up and paving of Hamilton's roads and head into town last Saturday. Apart from being vexed from all the detouring, the incident that I witnessed in town just about sent me over the top.
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Jul 9, 2012 6:00 am
The fats of life: Lacking a gut instinct when it comes to clothes
Now that we are into the summer, we enter the season of the naive, disillusioned souls. The oblivious and clueless folk. I’m talking about those men and women, local and visitors alike, who think their body is actually three to four sizes smaller than it really is. We have all seen them in clothes so tight that that it makes the Michelin tyre guy look like a runway model. Hello! Who’s in denial here?!
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Jul 2, 2012 6:30 am
Hi, its GOM, ATD & HGBM but FCGU, BTW.
I think learning a second or third language is always a good thing. They tell me that if you want to get a job in Europe these days it's better to be trilingual. That's fine if you're young and want to work in Europe, but at my age I feel that it's completely unfair to be forced to learn a second language. So what's forcing me to take up this second lingo? Modern technology that's what.
I, like most of the people my age, greet the tech world with a bit of dread and trepidation. -
Jun 25, 2012 6:00 am
Life's too short for the unreality of reality TV
I'm in a Catch-22 situation if there ever was one. With Belco's rate increases, I'm now forced to cut back on my monthly expenses, and to do that I'm going to have to stay at home a little more. So now instead of being able to afford to go out on the town for the odd Happy Hour, I'm only going to be able to make it a monthly outing. Sorry girls!
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Jun 11, 2012 6:00 am
Driving me mad: There’s no patience or courtesy on our roads
Have you ever thought that anyone driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
I'm starting to develop road rage when I’m driving on Bermuda’s roads.
Let’s face it, it’s hard to be a courteous driver while sharing the road with a bunch of idiots who seem to have a death wish. I strongly believe the driving standards on our roads have gone downhill much like my patience. -
Jun 4, 2012 6:00 am
Pig nosed snorters need to be taught some manners
Skuuggh? No, that’s not it. Smuuggh? Nope, that’s not it either. How am I supposed to do an article on something that really drives me around the bend if there’s no correct spelling for it?
Okay, somebody tell me how to spell that awful snort sound, you know, that sound people make when trying to clear their nasal passages while holding a conversation with you in the process. -
May 28, 2012 7:00 am
For crying out loud: No sympathy here for noisy babies
I just know I'm going to get a lot of grief for this week's gripe, but I believe a lot of people feel the same way, even if they don't admit it it's the whiny, crying baby.
- Should liquor stores be able to sell alcohol on Sundays?
- Yes
- 71%
- No
- 27%
- Don't Know
- 1%
- Total Votes: 2016
- Poll Archive