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Carla Confidential

Carla Zuill
ISLAND LIFE COLUMNIST
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  • Nov 3, 2014 8:00 am

    Should I allow my son and girl to sleepover?

    Dear Carla, My sonís best friend is a female. She is always at our home, day and evening, but has never spent the night. They are 17. Recently my husband found her in our sonís room sleepy. She was fully dressed and so was he. Neither of them were under the covers. However, it was one in the morning. My son asked if she could spend the night. I was against it while my husband felt it was okay since they are platonic friends. We called her...

  • Oct 27, 2014 8:00 am

    Girlfriend is too clingy

    Dear Carla,

    I love my girlfriend but I feel that she is too clingy. She wants to be around me every waking moment and gets offended when I tell her I need some space. She then gets an attitude and goes totally silent. When I try to address it, she denies having an attitude. But I donít believe her. Her behaviour is turning me off. I love her but I canít take her bratty ways.

    NEED A BREATH

    Dear Need a...

  • Your insecurity is not necessarily unreasonable
    Oct 20, 2014 8:00 am

    Your insecurity is not necessarily unreasonable

    Dear Carla: It is no secret on Facebook that my boyfriend and I are a couple, although our profiles are not connected. I notice that every post he makes, one particular girl always hits ďlikeĒ.

    I know itís the cyberworld, but he told me before that she had a crush on him in the past. Iíve said nothing to him. Instead Iíve just sit back and observed. There is no open interaction with them, but who knows what happens in the inbox. I...

  • Sep 22, 2014 8:00 am

    Boyfriendís ex is always invited to functions

    Dear Carla: I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for two years. He has a six-year-old son. I get along with his family but they do something that bothers me. They always invite his ex-girlfriend to family functions. I can understand on the childís birthday or holidays but itís every family event. This even bothers my boyfriend. He has said something about it but it falls on deaf ears. I do not have a personal issue with his ex but...

  • Sep 15, 2014 8:00 am

    Shouldnít my boyfriend delete pictures of his ex on Instagram?

    Dear Carla: This may seem petty but this situation is causing grief between me and my boyfriend. Weíve been together for six months and are happy except I take issue with the fact that he still has pictures of his ex-girlfriend on his Instagram profile. They have no children together so I see no reason why her pictures should still be there. I feel that he must have some sort of feelings for her. He says he doesnít. He says Iím making a big...

  • Angry with absent father
    Sep 8, 2014 8:00 am

    Angry with absent father

    Dear Carla: A co-worker and I have a good relationship, or so I thought. We go to lunch together at least three times a week, talk on the phone outside of work hours and sometimes go to social events together. A few months ago she got engaged and she is set to be married next month. While he wedding is not going to be a huge one, she has invited some friends, but not me. My feelings are hurt. Should I say something? Iím really surprised.

  • Like it or not, give son a chance to see his dad
    Sep 3, 2014 8:00 am

    Like it or not, give son a chance to see his dad

    Dear Carla: My childís father has never been in his life. My son is 12 years old and has seen his father maybe three times over the years. Iíve never bothered him for anything and our paths rarely cross. Two weeks ago, he tracked me down and said that he would like to get the opportunity to know our son. I told him I would get back to him.

    I am not sure what to do. My son has had some behavioural issues at school and I feel a part of...

  • Aug 25, 2014 8:00 am

    Sick of selfish and controlling parents

    Dear Carla: We are SO ANNOYED. A family memberís ďotherĒ parent is adamant of leaving the child in a private nursery / preschool when the child is old enough to go to FREE Government pre-school. The ďother parentĒ has a steady job and a steady income while our family member is trying very hard to build up a business and does not have a steady income (the economy is not easy in Bermuda at all right now).

    The other parent is being...

  • Aug 19, 2014 8:00 am

    Single, unhappy and unemployed

    Dear Carla: It seems like no matter what I do nothing goes right in all areas of my life. I recently lost my job which has now added insult to injury. I am single and unhappy and donít know what I did to deserve this. People are always telling me to keep my head up but they donít know how hard that is. What should I do? óFEELING WORTHLESS

    Dear Feeling: Iím sorry that you are feeling this way but there is no time for you to start...

  • Worried that my abused neighbour will end up dead
    Aug 11, 2014 8:00 am

    Worried that my abused neighbour will end up dead

    Dear Carla: I have several godchildren and I am actively involved in their lives. I always check on their grades at school and spend time with them whenever I can. However, I have an issue with one of their mothers. She is always asking me to spend money on my godson for various reasons.

    While I donít mind, I feel that she is taking advantage of me. I do not have children myself and have bills to pay. But she thinks because I am a...

  • Aug 4, 2014 8:00 am

    I try to be upbeat, but relative is bringing me down

    Dear Carla: I am going through a very trying time in my life and Iím doing my best to remain upbeat. However I have a relative who seems to constantly do everything to bring me down. They rarely offer words of support and when people ask them how I am doing, they make negative remarks and it seems like they brush my condition off. Some who have seen this firsthand think that they are acting like this because they are hurting, but their...

  • Jul 28, 2014 8:00 am

    How close is too close?

    Dear Carla: How close is too close for comfort? A guy is trying to holler at me, and I am attracted to him but he used to be my cousinís boyfriend for a few years. They broke up a while ago and she has a boyfriend who she has been with for years. Bermuda is small, so men options are limited but I think this would not be cool. He says itís no big deal. What should I do? And should I tell her? Should I ask her...

  • Jul 21, 2014 8:00 am

    Youíll need evidence of his infidelity

    Dear Carla: A friend of mine has been married for a couple of years after being with her boyfriend so over ten years. They have three children together.

    Although she is happy, many of us (her friends) know that her husband is cheating on her. This is a fact, not speculation. While she is aware of his past infidelities, she has no clue about what he is doing now. We feel she got married just so that she could say that he was because he...

  • Jul 14, 2014 8:00 am

    At end of my tether over terrible tantrums

    Dear Carla: I have a three-year old child. The father and I are not together anymore, and he has not been in our childís life like I feel he should be. Over the past few months the child has been acting out in school. Recently, I agreed that our child could go and stay with my ex for an extended period of time. It turned out to be both a good, and bad thing. Our childís behaviour improved greatly in school, but when he/she returned home to...

  • Jul 7, 2014 8:00 am

    Will I ever find Mr Right?

    Dear Carla: Iíve recently turned 29. Iím not married and I donít have any kids. Iím struggling to take care of myself right now but I keep wondering if I am ever going to find Mr Right? I live in the hood and the men here just seem to be about wanting to sleep with me and nothing more. I donít want any part of that. I feel like Iím getting old and life will pass me by. Whatís wrong with me? óWILL I?

    Dear Will I: You are still so...

  • Jun 30, 2014 8:00 am

    Is an absent parent entitled to attend childís graduation?

    Dear Carla,

    It is not unusual for schools to limit the number of attendees for each student for their graduation ceremony. In a situation where one parent and their family are the support system for the child and the other parent has never attended an honours assembly, parent teacher and the like (and it isnít because they where never told about it), should that parent be entitled to a ticket to the graduation?

    To make things...

  • Jun 17, 2014 8:00 am

    Should a teenager be named as a ĎGod parentí?

    Dear Carla,

    Last week my 14-year-old daughter came home and told me that one of her best friends is expecting a baby and she wants her to be one of the godmothers. I am shocked by the revelation!

    I have mixed emotions about whether or not I should approve this request. Although she didnít have to my daughter asked for my input and I am grateful she did instead of automatically saying she would.

    I asked my daughter what could...

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