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Carla Confidential

Carla Zuill
ISLAND LIFE COLUMNIST
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  • Oct 27, 2014 8:00 am

    Girlfriend is too clingy

    Dear Carla,

    I love my girlfriend but I feel that she is too clingy. She wants to be around me every waking moment and gets offended when I tell her I need some space. She then gets an attitude and goes totally silent. When I try to address it, she denies having an attitude. But I donít believe her. Her behaviour is turning me off. I love her but I canít take her bratty ways.

    NEED A BREATH

    Dear Need a...

  • Your insecurity is not necessarily unreasonable
    Oct 20, 2014 8:00 am

    Your insecurity is not necessarily unreasonable

    Dear Carla: It is no secret on Facebook that my boyfriend and I are a couple, although our profiles are not connected. I notice that every post he makes, one particular girl always hits ďlikeĒ.

    I know itís the cyberworld, but he told me before that she had a crush on him in the past. Iíve said nothing to him. Instead Iíve just sit back and observed. There is no open interaction with them, but who knows what happens in the inbox. I...

  • Sep 22, 2014 8:00 am

    Boyfriendís ex is always invited to functions

    Dear Carla: I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for two years. He has a six-year-old son. I get along with his family but they do something that bothers me. They always invite his ex-girlfriend to family functions. I can understand on the childís birthday or holidays but itís every family event. This even bothers my boyfriend. He has said something about it but it falls on deaf ears. I do not have a personal issue with his ex but...

  • Sep 15, 2014 8:00 am

    Shouldnít my boyfriend delete pictures of his ex on Instagram?

    Dear Carla: This may seem petty but this situation is causing grief between me and my boyfriend. Weíve been together for six months and are happy except I take issue with the fact that he still has pictures of his ex-girlfriend on his Instagram profile. They have no children together so I see no reason why her pictures should still be there. I feel that he must have some sort of feelings for her. He says he doesnít. He says Iím making a big...

  • Angry with absent father
    Sep 8, 2014 8:00 am

    Angry with absent father

    Dear Carla: A co-worker and I have a good relationship, or so I thought. We go to lunch together at least three times a week, talk on the phone outside of work hours and sometimes go to social events together. A few months ago she got engaged and she is set to be married next month. While he wedding is not going to be a huge one, she has invited some friends, but not me. My feelings are hurt. Should I say something? Iím really surprised.

  • Like it or not, give son a chance to see his dad
    Sep 3, 2014 8:00 am

    Like it or not, give son a chance to see his dad

    Dear Carla: My childís father has never been in his life. My son is 12 years old and has seen his father maybe three times over the years. Iíve never bothered him for anything and our paths rarely cross. Two weeks ago, he tracked me down and said that he would like to get the opportunity to know our son. I told him I would get back to him.

    I am not sure what to do. My son has had some behavioural issues at school and I feel a part of...

  • Aug 25, 2014 8:00 am

    Sick of selfish and controlling parents

    Dear Carla: We are SO ANNOYED. A family memberís ďotherĒ parent is adamant of leaving the child in a private nursery / preschool when the child is old enough to go to FREE Government pre-school. The ďother parentĒ has a steady job and a steady income while our family member is trying very hard to build up a business and does not have a steady income (the economy is not easy in Bermuda at all right now).

    The other parent is being...

  • Aug 19, 2014 8:00 am

    Single, unhappy and unemployed

    Dear Carla: It seems like no matter what I do nothing goes right in all areas of my life. I recently lost my job which has now added insult to injury. I am single and unhappy and donít know what I did to deserve this. People are always telling me to keep my head up but they donít know how hard that is. What should I do? óFEELING WORTHLESS

    Dear Feeling: Iím sorry that you are feeling this way but there is no time for you to start...

  • Worried that my abused neighbour will end up dead
    Aug 11, 2014 8:00 am

    Worried that my abused neighbour will end up dead

    Dear Carla: I have several godchildren and I am actively involved in their lives. I always check on their grades at school and spend time with them whenever I can. However, I have an issue with one of their mothers. She is always asking me to spend money on my godson for various reasons.

    While I donít mind, I feel that she is taking advantage of me. I do not have children myself and have bills to pay. But she thinks because I am a...

  • Aug 4, 2014 8:00 am

    I try to be upbeat, but relative is bringing me down

    Dear Carla: I am going through a very trying time in my life and Iím doing my best to remain upbeat. However I have a relative who seems to constantly do everything to bring me down. They rarely offer words of support and when people ask them how I am doing, they make negative remarks and it seems like they brush my condition off. Some who have seen this firsthand think that they are acting like this because they are hurting, but their...

  • Jul 28, 2014 8:00 am

    How close is too close?

    Dear Carla: How close is too close for comfort? A guy is trying to holler at me, and I am attracted to him but he used to be my cousinís boyfriend for a few years. They broke up a while ago and she has a boyfriend who she has been with for years. Bermuda is small, so men options are limited but I think this would not be cool. He says itís no big deal. What should I do? And should I tell her? Should I ask her...

  • Jul 21, 2014 8:00 am

    Youíll need evidence of his infidelity

    Dear Carla: A friend of mine has been married for a couple of years after being with her boyfriend so over ten years. They have three children together.

    Although she is happy, many of us (her friends) know that her husband is cheating on her. This is a fact, not speculation. While she is aware of his past infidelities, she has no clue about what he is doing now. We feel she got married just so that she could say that he was because he...

  • Jul 14, 2014 8:00 am

    At end of my tether over terrible tantrums

    Dear Carla: I have a three-year old child. The father and I are not together anymore, and he has not been in our childís life like I feel he should be. Over the past few months the child has been acting out in school. Recently, I agreed that our child could go and stay with my ex for an extended period of time. It turned out to be both a good, and bad thing. Our childís behaviour improved greatly in school, but when he/she returned home to...

  • Jul 7, 2014 8:00 am

    Will I ever find Mr Right?

    Dear Carla: Iíve recently turned 29. Iím not married and I donít have any kids. Iím struggling to take care of myself right now but I keep wondering if I am ever going to find Mr Right? I live in the hood and the men here just seem to be about wanting to sleep with me and nothing more. I donít want any part of that. I feel like Iím getting old and life will pass me by. Whatís wrong with me? óWILL I?

    Dear Will I: You are still so...

  • Jun 30, 2014 8:00 am

    Is an absent parent entitled to attend childís graduation?

    Dear Carla,

    It is not unusual for schools to limit the number of attendees for each student for their graduation ceremony. In a situation where one parent and their family are the support system for the child and the other parent has never attended an honours assembly, parent teacher and the like (and it isnít because they where never told about it), should that parent be entitled to a ticket to the graduation?

    To make things...

  • Jun 17, 2014 8:00 am

    Should a teenager be named as a ĎGod parentí?

    Dear Carla,

    Last week my 14-year-old daughter came home and told me that one of her best friends is expecting a baby and she wants her to be one of the godmothers. I am shocked by the revelation!

    I have mixed emotions about whether or not I should approve this request. Although she didnít have to my daughter asked for my input and I am grateful she did instead of automatically saying she would.

    I asked my daughter what could...

  • May 19, 2014 8:00 am

    Should I tell my daughter the truth about her father being in jail?

    Dear Carla,

    About three weeks ago my daughterís father was arrested and remains in custody because no one can afford the bail. His arrest was out of the blue so we didnít even get to say proper goodbyes. He lives with us and is very hands on. The first night he didnít come home I told our daughter that he had to move away for work. I hate lying but I didnít know what else to say especially since he has said repeatedly that he doesnít...

  • May 5, 2014 8:00 am

    Money is always her mind

    Dear Carla,

    I have a friend who I adore but she irritates me because she is always bragging about how much she makes. No matter where we are she uses it as an opportunity make it about her income.

    Then she wonders why new people in her life only seem to be out for what she can give them. Iíve tried telling her that all she is doing is attracting fake people but she thinks Iím jealous.

    I donít make as much as her so her...

  • Apr 22, 2014 8:00 am

    My boyfriend is acting strange, what is going on?

    Dear Carla,

    I have been seeing this guy and I thought that everything was going well. We live an hour and a half away so we only get to see each other twice or three times a week. One day I was going to see him (he knew) and halfway through he told me not to come and that the distance was causing a wedge between us.

    I was stunned by what he said because it seems so out of left field. Because I was determined to fight for what we...

  • Mar 24, 2014 8:00 am

    It seems my new girlfriend doesnít want to be seen in public with me

    Dear Carla,

    I have been dating my girlfriend for about three months. We have a good relationship and really good chemistry but whenever I ask her to go somewhere with me she always has an excuse. Itís starting to bother me and make me wonder if sheís seeing someone else behind my back. I keep asking her why she never wants to do anything with me outside of our homes and she just brushes me off and says Iím overreacting. But what makes...

  • Mar 10, 2014 8:00 am

    Help! My girlfriend drinks too much

    Dear Carla,

    I am in a relationship with a woman who I love dearly. Sheís good to me and we have a good time together but I have one problem with her. When she drinks she doesnít know when to stop and once sheís drunk she becomes a handful. Sheís rude and nasty to me and says insulting things. But once she sobers up I remind her of some of the things she says and sheís apologetic. Half of the time she doesnít even remember saying the...

  • Feb 24, 2014 8:00 am

    Stuck in a sexless marriage and tempted to cheat

    Dear Carla: My parents divorced when I was young and both were remarried by the time I was ten. While I have had a good relationship with my stepfather, it has not been the same with my dadís wife. She has never been nice to me, and I feel she only tolerates me. She has never made an effort to really get to know me, despite my dad trying to make things happen. This situation has not bothered me except Iím about to have a baby in two months,...

  • Jan 27, 2014 8:00 am

    My teenage daughter has Ďdumb broad syndromeí, what can I do?

    Dear Carla,

    I am so frustrated. How do you motivate a teenager to strive for excellence? I have two kids. Both are very active with their extra curricular activities and they both do well in school. Both have been diagnosed with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) so it can be somewhat of a challenge, however both are very intelligent and when they focus do really well. My preteen does really well with school work as well as...

  • My advice, let sleeping dogs lie
    Jan 13, 2014 8:00 am

    My advice, let sleeping dogs lie

    Dear Carla: A man and woman have known each other for many years. Man is a recovering addict, says heís been clean for a few years. They have started dating. She feels like she should ďinvestigateĒ, do a ďsocial inquiry reportĒ so to say, on him to get feedback on whether or not he is truly not using anymore ... so the question: is this appropriate? Or is she opening up a can of worms because you know how it goes everyone will have a story...

  • Dec 30, 2013 8:00 am

    Whatís the real deal with my former husbandís wife and our child?

    Dear Carla,

    I am the best super nice ex ever; after 10 years of unnecessary child-like drama and slander, the wife finally is attempting to be nice allowing our 11-year-old son to sleep over however, the childless wicked stepmother emerges to our son right in front of his father. He protects and defends our son removing him from the situation, even bringing him home if needed. I continue to be my nice self. Is there anything more I can...

  • I think my BFFís bloke is cheating
    Dec 24, 2013 8:00 am

    I think my BFFís bloke is cheating

    Dear Carla: I saw my best friendís boyfriend out dancing with another woman. It wasnít your typical dance. It was very intimate. He was kissing her neck and then at the end of the night they left together. This is the same female that he was cheating with a few months ago and he denied it. Should I tell her? Ė I KNOW WHAT I SAW

    Dear I Know: If it was my friend, I would tell her but not everyone would agree with me. Some may feel you are...

  • Dec 2, 2013 8:00 am

    I love him, but not his sleeping around

    Dear Carla,

    I have been in a relationship for five years. We have a beautiful child together. He is a good provider and good father to our child but he has a major problem that I canít stand. He sleeps around with other women. And the worst part is he is not secretive about it. While I may not know who the women are personally, he tells me when he has a friend. He has also made it clear that he loves me but he does not believe that a...

  • Nov 26, 2013 8:00 am

    I want absent father out of my life for good

    Dear Carla: I need feedback as I have no more energy to mentally contain this; My dad was amiss my whole life. I never wanted anything but to know what he looked like especially when my grandmother always told me I have his eyes.

    In my teen years I pushed to meet him and was met a mixture of harsh resistance and mixed messages. He tried to lead me to believe he had wanted to be there but was continuously encountering ďsituationsĒ that...

  • Nov 4, 2013 8:00 am

    Cheaters never consider consequences

    Carla Confidential

    Dear Carla: What is a reasonable time for a 16 year old to be home on weekends? Whether going to a party or not? I had a discussion with a 16 and they seem to think 1am is acceptable because the law says they have to be off road by then. But parent thinks 10-11pm. I cant remember what my curfew was. Please help. ó WHENíS THE RIGHT TIME?

    Dear Right Time: None of my children are this old yet but I can draw off my...

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