Dear Carla: My husband and I have been married for a few years and we have a child together. He has two children from a previous marriage. My in-laws, who I am not very close with, but do not have a negative relationship, sent an invite to their annual family reunion via social media. This year, I noticed that they invited my husband’s ex, who they remain close with. She has also remarried. I am not a jealous person, and I have absolutely no problem with my in-laws remaining close with her, but I think that inviting her is too much. Am I out of line for thinking this? Should I voice my displeasure to someone, or leave it alone? New MissusDear New Missus: Have you spoken to your husband about this, because it is his parents who are taking this decision? If there is no animosity between your husband and his ex, I see no reason why you all shouldn’t attend, and have a great time. I am not telling you to become her best friend, but think about the message you would be sending all of the children involved, if they could see everyone harmonious in one place. This would also be an opportunity for your in-laws to learn more about your character. Go and enjoy yourself.Dear Carla: I need to vent. One of the things that annoys is when a woman doesn’t pull her weight as a mother, but is quick to brag about her child. My boyfriend’s “egg donor” is worthless, and sometimes I really feel like letting everyone know what she is really about. She doesn’t contribute anything to the well being of her child. She sees the child every other weekend, and that’s it. If we don’t ask her for anything she doesn’t provide it, mind you most of the time we ask she claims she can’t provide it. If she does have something it’s a measly $50! She’s quick to say “tell your girlfriend do it” but wants to take all the praise for the child’s achievements.Right now she has the child, although we have him/her the majority of the school year. The child is very intelligent and has been offered a partial scholarship to attend a private school. The balance could easily be paid if she, and my boyfriend, pay approximately $100 per week each. She wants the child to go to the school but is complaining that she can’t afford it. She is getting on my nerves because she always has the means to indulge in her leisure activities, and other illegal behaviours. Why are people so selfish when it comes to the well being of their children. Mind you, she claims that she has full custody of her child to get financial assistance. I just hope the child can see everything for him/herself in due time. Just wanted to let you know that there are some worthless mothers too. Fed UpDear Fed Up: One of the most valuable lessons that I have learned is that just because a parent has a passion for what’s best for their child doesn’t mean that they have as equal a passion for the best to be materialised. I hear you regarding the extra activities, but can she really afford it if she is on financial assistance? I would suggest that your boyfriend seek some sort of mediation with her so that the child is not deprived of a great educational opportunity. Encourage him to find a way to “make it happen” to get the child to go to the school. I also think the child should be sat down, and explained that should they attend the school what a blessing it is, and that they should strive to excel in order to attain full scholarships in the future. I hope the child gets to go.Dear Carla: Carla, I’ve got a very serious question for you. My tenant, who just moved out with her young son, left my place in an appalling state. The bathtub, toilet and fridge are the worst, with roaches running everywhere, heaps of clothes on the bedroom floor, mixed with DVDs, and shoes, and who knows what else. She says she’s coming back to clean, but I know between her delays, and having to replace door, windows (not entirely her fault) and carpet, which is stained beyond restoration, I won’t get rent for this month. I’m not even sure it will be fit to show this month.She has been on financial assistance throughout her tenancy. I don’t know where she is moving. I have been advised to report her to Family Services for child health endangerment, because of the bathroom, and fridge, which had roaches swarming over the food. My problem is, I don’t want to damage my relationship with her siblings who are related to me. I care about her child though. What to do? DisgustedDear Disgusted: Bermuda is small enough to track her down. I would try to find her, and talk to her about the condition of your place, especially where it relates to the well-being of the children. I would be forthright with her, and let her know that calling Child and Family Services is a serious consideration. Since one of your children is your relatives, I would inform the father of his child’s living condition as soon as possible. And I hope you have pictures to corroborate your claims if you do decide to make a complaint.