The countdown is on and the Island is buzzing with frenzied shoppers trying to find the perfect gift (or one that will do), get in the Turkey and trimmings, put together just the right party outfit and get work tied up in time for the holidays …

It’s a fast paced world at the best of times. ‘Busy’ barely begins to describe most of our lives, juggling jobs, family, friends, hobbies, socialising, finances … the list goes on. Multi-tasking is the common modus operandi: conference call while answering e-mails and doing charades that ‘yes, I’d like a coffee’. Later, making dinner, news on, phone glued to the ear, trying to help the children with their homework.

Add Christmas to the mix and it tends to send us into overdrive.

But isn’t the festive season when we get together with family and friends in hope of sharing special time and making lasting memories? Sometimes we can be there in body but so distracted thinking what’s left on the shopping list or where we’ve got to race off to that we barely hear a word being said to us.

I’ve noticed it when I’m with my boy. Lately the ‘quality control’ on our time together has been a little slack. Rushing from pantomime to parades, it’s been jolly but how many times have I said to his questions, ‘let me just finish this text’ or ‘after we’ve done this’ … though we often don’t get to it. What kind of memories are we making exactly?

Sadly we only have to switch on the news to be reminded that life is fleeting. We never know when the unexpected might change our lives forever. How important is it to make the time that we have together count.

In the midst of all the gift giving we do this time of year, there is one thing we can each uniquely give to those we care about and who matter to us most: our attention.

It’s a rare thing to get someone’s full, undivided attention: to feel really listened to, that they’re not just thinking up what they’re going to say next or drifting off to the myriad of other thoughts filling their head. When someone treats us to their true presence, their focus in that moment with us, no other agenda … it is like magic. It feels powerfully affirming, we feel connected, heard, supported, significant, and loved. What a thing to be able to do for someone.

Here are some tips to help break us out of autopilot and bring us back to where we are, so that we can focus our attention on the moments that matter most — the one we have now.

Pause — coming to a halt for a minute and taking some deep breaths helps to break the busy chaos, centre us and bring us back to the present. Being still, focusing on our breath, listening to what our body might need from us, remaining mindful and perhaps telling ourselves a calming affirmation is like a two-minute restorative mini meditation when that’s all that fits the schedule.

Engage all our senses — when we take the time to tune into what we are seeing, feeling, tasting, hearing and smelling at any given moment, the world around us comes to life and we feel more a much a part of it. Try practicing this taking a shower or eating a meal. It can transform what we might otherwise write-off as a mundane daily activity, and it is an easy method to jump into presence at any given moment.

Become curious — on autopilot we can miss so much of what’s going on around us, just taking it for granted. We look at things without actually seeing them. What happens when we allow ourselves to notice details, explore with a curious, non-judgmental mind and open our eyes to the amazingness we’re currently surrounded by?

Curiosity is a useful approach in interactions too. Family gatherings can be challenging. Those closest to us seem to know how to push our buttons best. Rather than jumping into old autopilot patterns of behaviour, try becoming present and getting curious about the situation. Questions can reveal more:

What are the facts of what’s actually going on here (putting emotions aside temporarily)

What does this remind me of?

How am I influencing this situation? What could I do differently to shift the dynamic?

What is really important at this moment?

Reduce distractions — unless it’s our intended focus, it can be helpful to turn off the background TV or radio as it can tug our attention away from the task or person at hand. Dare I suggest it, switch off ringers and text/e-mail alerts when we’re with people and put the phone out of sight. It speaks volumes when we show someone that the outside world can wait for them.

Refocus the inner voice — when those chatter boxes in our head start nagging or luring us off on mental tangents, saying a simple word like: ‘now’ or ‘observe’ can bring our focus back to where we are, what we have in front of us and what we are doing here and why. We can also ask ourselves: what do I want to remember about this moment in time? What do I want the person I’m with to remember?

Time fence — write lists and schedule times for all the various tasks to be done, including time for brainstorming ideas of what else might have been forgotten. When doing the tasks, do each to full capacity for that allotted time. This includes giving our attention to others. Set appointment reminders or alarms so that we’re not stressing and checking our watches, and for the time we’re with others we can allow ourselves to just ‘be’, reassured that there’s nothing else to be doing in this moment, than being in this moment.

Practice — great yogis who’ve spent a lifetime practicing mindfulness admit it is a matter of learning to keep coming back to it when thoughts inevitably wander. It’s not about beating ourselves up when we get distracted, but reminding ourselves to keep re-engaging in the present moment and the joy that brings.

In the end, does it really matter if we don’t get to everything on the ‘to do’ list? More isn’t always more … except maybe when it comes to love and happiness (and baubles on the tree). Letting someone know they really matter to us, that they are worth our time and attention and that we genuinely want to hear what they have to say, is one of the greatest gifts we can give, at Christmas time and all year long.

Julia Pitt is a trained Success Coach and certified NLP practitioner on the team at Benedict Associates. For further information contact Julia on (441) 705-7488, www.juliapittcoaching.com.