Dear Carla,

I am the best super nice ex ever; after 10 years of unnecessary child-like drama and slander, the wife finally is attempting to be nice allowing our 11-year-old son to sleep over however, the childless wicked stepmother emerges to our son right in front of his father. He protects and defends our son removing him from the situation, even bringing him home if needed. I continue to be my nice self. Is there anything more I can do? Or shall I let daddy continue to see the obvious wolf in sheep’s clothing and sort her out himself? Will she ever genuinely love our son who was there before her? I am not at all arrogant but I’m told she has got to be insecure because I have his only child and am so much more beautiful inside and out. What’s really the deal here Carla? More importantly what’s the solution to make her as happy as son, daddy and I the child’s mom? Can we all be genuinely happy?

AT WIT’S END

Dear End,

Unfortunately you are asking me a question that only the wife can answer. Ten years is a long time to resent a child, especially in light of your son being born before she came along. Have the three adults sat down and had an honest conversation about what’s the real deal because it seems as if something is eating at her. It almost sounds as if she is jealous of your child. Can she have children? Does your ex want anymore? There are a plethora of questions that need to be answered but there’s only one person who can provide insight because otherwise it will simply be speculation. I find it bizarre that it has taken this long for her to “allow” your child to spend the night. That’s crazy. You say that daddy protects son but how he had allowed this behaviour to go on for so long is mystifying. Regardless of what has transpired between the adults, your son is innocent. I can’t make any judgement because I’m sure in her mind her actions are justified. You guys need to talk. The sooner the better. Good luck.

Dear Carla,

I met a guy recently and we hit it off. We started to talk often and have discovered we have a lot in common. Besides hugs and a random kiss there has been no sexual contact. Everything was going well then he tells me that he’s seeing someone. I was mad because I feel he should have told me this from the beginning. I would never purposely disrespect another female because I wouldn’t want someone to do it to my relationship. What should I do? I’ve pulled back from communicating with him but miss his friendship.

DISAPPOINTED

Dear Disappointed,

I think you need to back off and be a friend from a distance for now because of the attraction. If you remain in his physical presence you will only develop a closer bond which doesn’t make sense under the circumstances. And FYI, finding out if he’s involved should have been one of the questions you should have asked him from the onset.

Dear Carla,

I have a friend who I love dearly but she whines about every and anything. I try to ignore her sometimes but she grates my nerves to the point that sometimes I just want to tell her SHUT UP! I just feel in this day and time everybody has some sort of stress so the last thing people need is to hear about someone else’s ALL the time. How do I tell her to put a lid on it without hurting her feelings?

BLAH BLAH BLAH

Dear Blah,

If you guys are that close, just tell her. Diplomatically of course. She may not even realise that she does it. Have some tact though because you do not want to alienate her.

Dear Carla,

I recently found out that my girlfriend of six months is on a dating website. The profile is over a year old. Her last update was two months ago. I am hurt and angry that she didn’t tell me that she is on this site but have not said anything to her about it yet. Part of me does not want to because I want to watch and see what she’s doing on there. Or should I?

UNBELIEVABLE

Dear Unbelievable,

By not saying anything right away, you are creating an explosion just waiting to happen. I couldn’t sit on information like that because that isn’t my nature but what will you be achieving my waiting? What if you see activity that you don’t like? Print out the page and ask her why is she still on there despite your relationship. Be prepared for her to accuse you of snooping around though. Before you talk to her I would suggest you ask yourself what your intentions are? Are you planning on leaving her? Are you going to ask her to shut the page down? What? And are you prepared for her potentially refusing? Will you be able to trust her again? Just giving you some food for thought ...