How far would you go to discipline your child?

That’s the question many parents were asking themselves last week when a photo of one dad’s attempts to publicly shame his daughter for her bad behaviour went viral.

After the girl lied about her age on social media to attract the attention of older boys, the Kentucky father made her wear a T-shirt revealing her true age, along with barrettes and bows in her hair, a style usually donned by little girls.

Some people online praised the dad for “setting her straight” and “holding her accountable”, others felt it was an extreme form of discipline and suggested that sitting his daughter down and talking to her about the dangers of online predators would have been a more effective approach.

The Royal Gazette’s Lifestyle section asked three local parents for their thoughts and to share methods of discipline that worked with their children.

Velina Wheatley King said she wouldn’t publicly shame her child. However, she said she was a firm believer in timeouts and taking away certain privileges.

“I personally found it was so hard to snap [my four-year-old son] out of cute contrary toddler mode to preschooler.

“We took his iPad away for six weeks once, but we made sure to add positive reinforcement as well. He loves the series of Gruffalo books so when we saw improvements [in his behaviour] he got to add to his collection.

“We needed him to understand the importance of listening to us and behaving at preschool, but what he needed from us was a solid routine and consistency, so we made improvements in that area.

“I do the firm talking to him as well [in our house] but I make sure that I tell him I love him after timeout and explain to him on his level exactly why he was put there.

“I find he is even more affectionate now that we have clear boundaries and expectations.”

Cha’Von Clarke-Joell felt the dad’s tactic was a “very risky” one and not the best method of positive behavioural modification.

She said: “Something like that can lead to emotional scarring, self-esteem issues and further negative behaviours from the child.

“I would not choose to embarrass my son in order to teach him a lesson. I would consider, not just the current situation, but the long-term effects and choose a method that will encourage him to make better decisions in the future.”

She found that communication has been really important in her relationship with her teenage son.

“I’ve always talked him through situations, forcing him to process, analyse and reflect his wrongdoings,” she said.

“The corner never worked for my son. But helping him to understand, accept his trouble and then putting punishments in place (ie can’t go with friends, not getting a toy he wants or even giving away a toy he hasn’t cared for) has worked.”

One parent said that every child is different where discipline is concerned. She found if she spanked her youngest daughter she would become even more determined to get her way. With her eldest daughter, her spirit would have been so hurt by spanking that it would take a long time to heal the relationship.

“I won’t say I disagree with spanking, but that didn’t work with my girls,” the parent said.

“When relationship is key, knowing your children is the most important factor in determining consequences for misbehaviour, or discipline.

“Sure, read the books, but realise that every family is different, every relationship is different and every child is different.

“If your goal is to raise a child that feels like they are of value and worthy of being loved and respected, then you should show them that at home, not just speak it.

“I think parents often discipline as a shortcut for instant obedience (I do it too!), but I also believe that for long-term character development, discussion, mutual respect and strong relationships are the key.”