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Is technology dividing families?

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Time management: Torri Wilson, 16, and her mother Wendy spent a lot of time on their phones - but after realising that technology was affecting their relationship, they started making time for each other and now enjoy activities such as cooking

Lee-Ann Liles thinks her daughter got addicted to Netflix because her tablet made it so accessible.

Hand-held devices sometimes bring communication to a halt in Wendy Wilson’s home.

Loredana Roberts Perrin isn’t taking any chances, however. Her girls have to ask permission before they can log on.

One grandmother insists technology is creating a gulf between families. She says she’s lucky to get a grunt out of her grandsons because they’re too busy playing high-tech games.

“My two grandsons would certainly rather focus on their Xboxes than spend time with me,” she said. “And now these games can be played online with their mates. They used to go from house to house to play, now they don’t even have to leave their sitting rooms. They just sit there for hours with their earphones on.”

Studies show the average American child spends more than seven hours a day with a digital device. Some experts link a surge in attention deficit disorder over the past two decades to the high rate of technology usage.

Another grandmother told The Royal Gazette that technology had even caused a problem between herself and her grown-up stepdaughter.

“We went on a trip together and she spent the whole time on her phone,” she said. “We had an argument over it. Sometimes older people like some attention. I have young grandchildren and it doesn’t seem to have impacted them yet. When my grandson comes to visit he leaves his devices at home and we have a lot of fun together.”

Mrs Liles, mother of three-year-old Torenne and 17-year-old Rayshawn, believes that technology has the potential to widen the gap between generations.

“It can do if it is not kept in check,” she said. “My son loves to play video games. When we visited family in the United States this Christmas, all the kids played games. It can create a disconnect.

“My daughter had a [hand-held tablet designed for young children] which was great, but she started to get addicted to Netflix and would not go to sleep on time.”

On the other hand, technology can help, Mrs Liles said. She sometimes finds it easier to communicate with her teenager by messaging him through his tablet.

Ms Wilson said she and her 16-year-old daughter, Torri, were both guilty of ignoring each other in favour of their devices.

“Luckily, when we’ve both brought it to each other’s attentions, it hasn’t been too difficult to lay the devices down while we spend quality time with one another.”

One activity that has brought them together is cooking. Belinda Barberi, mother of six-year-old Sofia and three-year-old Giovanni, installed a no-device policy at dinner.

“Everyone has to turn off and put away their iPads and phones,” she said. “I do use the iPad as a treat. If they have been good or have done all of their homework, they will get some time on the iPad.”

Zalika Furbert suggested the grandmother who felt she was ignored should learn to play Xbox.

“That would definitely be a bonding experience. Find activities that they can do together,” she said.

Miss Furbert said she tried to monitor how much time her 16-year-old daughter Zahria spent on devices.

“They are not official limits, but I would say, ‘you have been on your iPad long enough, go read a book’,” she said. “We don’t always eat dinner together but when we do there are no devices at the dinner table.”

Some parents have dealt with the issue by limiting or removing the technology altogether.

One woman said she was frightened by the research linking usage to ADD. “My kids were getting obsessed and then it is hard to get them to engage in anything else,” said the mother of three.

“It is hard because you want to find a balance between them being tech savvy but not totally engrossed. The kids were being super whiny. I read that article about the overstimulation and hyper focus which made perfect sense.

“My oldest son used to enjoy drawing and reading so much more before iPads but then, too much iPad time and he was suddenly finding everything else boring.”

Mrs Roberts Perrin said her children, Sophia, seven, and Julia, five, only watch television on weekends and do not own gaming systems such as Xboxes.

“The girls do have access to the iPad and computer but there is a passcode on the iPad that they do not know,” she said.

“They always ask permission before using the computer so they do not have unlimited access. We monitor what they are able to access on the computer.

“So, in our case, it is not widening the gap in our family. We sit down to eat at the table together every night, never in front of the television.”

Wendy Wilson and her daughter Torri enjoy cooking together after their devices are put away