Respect. It can be said that an integral component of a couple’s maturing relationship is respect for each other and their shared visions, such as their inspirations for a better life, the dreams of establishing a home in their community, the drive to secure a financially successful future, and the social progression and growth of each individual.

Respect walks in tandem with money attitudes

The management of household monies - the getting, spending, and saving - is a universal challenge for couples in mutually respectful relationships.

Money traditions transcend borders, cultures, generations, customs, and religious beliefs. These money influences are as important to a couple’s relationship as is each person’s individual attitude and inherent behavior about managing money.

Love alone does not buy food, pay the rent/mortgage, put gas in the transportation machine, finance education, or procure stylish duds.

Financial institutions of all types are extremely interested in individual behavior relative to money habits. Their implicit philosophy (as interpreted by yours truly) is that the more they know about you, your money habits, and financial goals, the better chance they have to meet your needs and keep your business.

Marital and financial counselors also know that unresolved financial conflicts can very easily destroy a couple’s relationship.

A recent survey by Ally Bank in the United States revealed some interesting results, just in time for Valentine’s Day. Before looking at the survey results, why not see how you score on this financial relationship quiz?

Does 1 plus 1 = True Love?

Does respect for each other mean financial compatibility? How do you handle financial matters now? Do you know anything about how your dearly beloved handles his/hers? Have you ever really discussed how you feel about money?

Simple questions, simple answers, but low scores may mean compromise

Whether you are at the initial stage of a long-term relationship, or married, why not take this little compatibility test? The questions can only be answered yes or no. One point for each yes answer, no points for no answers. Mostly yes answers mean that you have found your financial soul mate.

Each of you take the quiz separately.

1. Do we talk about money decisions regularly?

2. Are we comfortable with which partner handles the bills?

3. Do I feel that my partner handles money well?

4. Would I be non-judgemental if my partner made (and charged) a purchase of $200$ without telling me? How about $2,000?

5. Do I know how much savings including investments (and debt) my partner has or may be bringing into our relationship (marriage)?

6. Do we have more than six credit cards between us - with unpaid credit balances on all of them?

7. Do I know how much my partner makes?

8. Do we have the same financial dreams?

9. Do I feel that my partner keeps his/her money separate as if it is his/her own forever?

10. Did I ever talk about money with my parents?

11. Would my partner support me if I just decided to quit my job and start a business?

12. Do we agree on how much income we need to live comfortably?

13. When we talk about money, does my partner respect and listen to my point of view?

14. Is one of you a saver, while your partner is a spender?

15. If you earn quite a bit less than your partner, do you resent this difference?

16. Does my partner know what my financial goals and dreams are?

17. Do we have a financial plan that we are both comfortable with?

18. Have we talked to a financial professional about starting off on the right foot?

There you have it. See how your scores add up.

0-5 points: You may need to initiate some serious discussions to promote a better understanding of each other’s perspectives on money, and what you want out of your life together.

6-12 points: You seem to understand each other, but you may need to talk more about the areas that can cause differences.

11-18 points: Guess it was love and compatibility at first sight. You are well on your way, and should be putting a joint investing plan in place that will grow along with your relationship for the rest of your lives together.

Those of you with a high score (a high number of yes answers) meet the Ally Bank survey demographics.

The study found that Americans are attracted to others with strong money management skills. Broken down, the results showed:

• 76 per cent of respondents believe it is highly important to find a partner with similar money attitudes;

• 55 per cent are attracted to others with strong savings strategies;

• 21 per cent like those who pay-as-they-go and avoid debt, while 18 per cent were attracted to bargain hunters and the thriftiest people;

• While only 3 per cent of those in the survey liked flash and dash individuals with high credit card limits and a real focus on the finer things in life.

http://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/ally-banks-love--money-study-finds-most-americans-are-attracted-to-others-who-have-strong-budgeting-and-saving-strategies-300030715.html

Analysis: It is absolutely trendy to pick bargains at the Barn, Red Cross, E-Moo, and yard sales while you invest those savings into your future financial success with your partner.

Sharing a life together is the dream of what can be. Putting a financial plan in place can make it happen.

The wisdom of the ages on love and marriage: The Legacy Project

Read real, spot-on wisdom from couples who have been married 50-70 years. They know a great deal about relationships.

http://legacyproject.human.cornell.edu/category/love-and-marriage/

Celebrate with your special person this Valentine’s Day by visiting the Tribe Road Kitch-en, where you can try Valentine’s Day Southern Indian three-course pop-up dinner at a fixed price of $45.

This is an informal wonderful restaurant gathering place that supports me in allowing me to sit, imbibe their great coffee and pastries and write for you, dear readers.

http://www.trk.bm/

Martha Harris Myron CPA PFS CFP JSM, Masters of Law: International Tax and Financial Services; appointed to the Professional Tax Advisory Council, American Citizens Abroad, Geneva, Switzerland; The Pondstraddler Life Consultancy provides planning for international tax, immigration, investment, retirement, legacy, and related financial challenges to the lifestyles of internationally mobile individuals and their businesses residing, working, crossing borders, and straddling ponds in the North Atlantic Quadrangle. Specific focus for residents of Bermuda, the premier international finance centre. Contact: martha@pondstraddler.com