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Melissa’s mother lode of information

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Dylan has taken mom, Melissa Fox, for the ride of her life since she was born 14 months ago. Ms Fox, 31, shares what motherhood is like in her blog i’m with Dylan. (Photo supplied)

Melissa Fox is a freelance writer who prides herself on being honest.

She got pregnant with her first child two years ago and was determined to give a candid account of what motherhood was like.

The 31-year-old’s blog “i’m with dylan” is the result.

What inspired you to start your mommy blog? Did you see a similar one and think “I could do that” or did you just want to pass on tips to other first-time moms?

As a writer with a bit of an obsession for online platforms, curating a blog about motherhood — on my own terms — felt like a natural progression. But I prefer to think of “i’m with Dylan” more as a journal, a very public confessional of my experience.

The online mom community is robust, but it can be overwhelming, and so easy to compare your life to the “successful” (or successfully curated) moms we see on Pinterest and Instagram. The reality? Motherhood is hard, and I hope my little slice will offer some solace to women who, like myself, need to feel a little kinship every now and then when they feel like they aren’t getting things “just right”.

What’s it been like being a mom for the first time?

Becoming a mother is exactly like it looks in the movies — except completely opposite. For me, it was mind-altering. All of a sudden I was wholly responsible for the life of a human being. Not just making sure she eats and grows, but that she becomes a responsible, productive member of society. Heavy! But totally worth it.

What have been some the biggest challenges/ and rewards in raising Dylan?

With children, I feel like the challenges and rewards go hand in hand. Every day they learn something new — how to stand, how to walk, how to run, how to climb the change table or pull everything out of the cupboard. Chasing after her is exhausting, but that curiosity and verve is exactly what we hope to foster. It’s easy to become frustrated when she doesn’t listen or is a little too rambunctious, but then I remember just how incredible (and incredibly challenging for her) the process of growing up really is and I feel lucky to be a part of it.

Have you learned anything about yourself during this process?

The million-dollar question. Mostly, I’ve been impressed with my ability to adapt. The concept of moving from selfish to selfless is confounding, but completely possible. And I am in awe of the untold depths of strength harboured by women, myself included. We do because we have to, we’re incredible.

What kinds of articles and information can people find on your blog? How often do you update it?

“i’m with Dylan” is a journey, an account of how I’m trying to do the whole “work from home” thing while also raising a child full-time. I think of it as more of a pet project, since deadlines, lunch, and doing the fifth round of dishes gets in the way. When I can get around to it (which I’d love to say is once a week but recently not as often), typically you’ll find personal anecdotes about ideas or instances that have struck a chord with me. Our family is also mildly obsessed with food, and the site has given us a platform to share [toddler-friendly] recipes and meal ideas.

Are you planning on continuing with it?

Even though I don’t spend as much time with it as I’d like to (the IRL Dylan takes priority), I love working on it. I can see it sticking around for little while, at least.

What kind of feedback have you got from other parents about it?

Generally, the response has been positive, though I’m always open for a good discussion about ideas and topics.

Did you read a lot of similar mommy blogs or books when you were pregnant?

I read so many blogs and articles about pregnancy and parenting I had to put a moratorium on Google in my second trimester. The sheer volume of information is overwhelming and, if you don’t know what you’re looking for, can easily send any mildly worried new mom or dad into a tailspin of anxiety. That said, parenting is still hard, and the resources literally at your fingertips are invaluable.

Why do you think blogs like these are important?

Let’s be real — our society spends a lot of time in the virtual space. Mom blogs that are honest and offer unbiased, up-to-date opinions and information connect women on a global scale. Who isn’t more likely to pick up their smart phone and Google a problem before calling their own mother? From the moment you find out you’re expecting, it’s so easy to feel like you’re all alone in the world even though motherhood is probably one of the few things women can relate to universally, but if you can’t reach out and talk to the mom at the coffee shop whose baby is sleeping soundly while yours cries up a storm, at least you can find someone online who can relate.

Visit Facebook page “i’m with dylan” or www.imwithdylan.com.

Bermudian Melissa Fox writes a parenting blog about her life in Toronto with her 14-month-old daughter, Dylan. (Photo supplied)
<p>What Melissa has learned about being first-time mom</p>

Melissa Fox is like many other first-time moms — she figures most things out along the way. Here’s just a few of the things she learned on becoming a parent:

1. Don’t expect your partner to come around quickly.

“Women live with the idea of motherhood from the moment we find out we’re expecting, but the concept is foreign to most men for a while,” she said. “Usually [their paternal instincts don’t kick in] until baby starts to be more interactive.”

2. Do take a breastfeeding class before giving birth.

“I found that even though breastfeeding is one of the most natural things a woman can do, it does not come naturally (to mom or baby).”

3. That said, don’t feel pressured to breastfeed.

“Whether you can’t or simply choose not to, this is your personal decision, and you should never be made to feel that it is wrong.”

4. Do what’s right for your family.

“New parents are inundated with information and unsolicited advice, but what is written is not gospel — every child and family is different! As long as you’ve done your due diligence and your child is safe, there’s no reason to cause yourself undue stress.”