I’ve often wondered what I would do on a desert island … somewhere I had everything available to me but nobody watching and no one to answer to.

Would I eat cake until I exploded? Send myself into financial ruin buying shoes? Do nothing but watch TV and numb out the world until I turned to dust on a sofa or bar stool somewhere?

A few weeks ago I got to test the idea ever so slightly. Over in Britain, I was alone for four days of sweet solitude. I could choose to do anything and what’s more, I gave myself total permission to indulge.

I love the scene in the movie Date Night when Tina Fey admits her secret fantasy of wanting to escape to a hotel room by herself and … drink a soda. It turns out my great worldly desires are not that different.

My “freedom” took me to the grocery store where I stocked up on whatever took my fancy. I downloaded a box set of the most addictive pulp TV, and settled in. I went to bed and got up when I wanted. It felt like the lap of luxury.

What happened surprised me. I watched TV, lots of it, but after two days I’d actually had enough. I read a book. My body felt antsy and I chose to go out for a long walk. I actually couldn’t be bothered shopping. Instead, I sat in the garden and meditated. I cooked myself nice meals and even sat down for breakfast. Just serving myself first felt novel in itself. I caught up on projects I’d been procrastinating on for ages. Chose bowls of ripe berries for dessert and never ate the chocolate I had bought.

It seems the freedom of removing the self-denying and the judgment, and unburdening myself of other people’s expectations, allowed me to find my own level. After satisfying those desires I was eventually making choices that supported my overall health and wellbeing, rather than overindulging in the opposite.

I’m not suggesting we all dive down a rabbit hole of giving in to our addictions and tuning out the world, but how much are unrealistic expectations and pressures we put on ourselves and perceive from others helping to fuel those negative habits?

We don’t always get the chance to escape to isolation but perhaps we can still find our level in the midst of busy, ordinary life. Things to try:

• What is it I’m craving, and why? What could we do about that?

• Tune in to our bodies’ needs and desires rather than tuning-out. Actually ask, “Body, what would you like from me right now?”

• Create space in hectic schedules for some solitary time.

Aloneness and loneliness are not the same. Some fear the idea of being alone, worried what they might find there. They fill their days with people, commitments and distractions. But time alone is a chance to get to know ourselves — and meet ourselves with kindness, the opportunity to practise self-love and self-care and eventually make our own great choices.

• Julia Pitt is a trained success coach and certified NLP practitioner on the team at Benedict Associates. For further information contact Julia on 705-7488, www.juliapittcoaching.com.