While facilitating a workshop last year on managing change, I ventured that change, despite how drastic it might feel at the time, always delivers positives if we choose to see them.

It was an idea met with resistance. Not all change, they argued. One participant was quite adamant: “What about death? That’s change and I see no upside to losing someone from my life.”

The example sounded personal and the wound fresh. I doubt that amid the raw hurt, rage, fear and sadness of losing someone we love, we can possibly turn our sights to the life lessons we are learning from the experience. But I would dare say some are occurring.

Unexpected lessons perhaps, around the likes of forgiveness or gratitude, compassion, connection, personal strength or just the acceptance of ‘what is’.

In the middle of any lesson, though, learning rarely feels like a positive. It often feels hard and frustrating and unending, the learning curves steep and arduous.

Sometimes, only in retrospect can we see how far we have come and what those positives from change might be.

They say that time heals all wounds. I agree that time is a necessary factor in being able to recognise life lessons and resulting growth. How much time, is individual to each of us.

That is not to say we don’t need to do the work. Time itself will provide distance and perspective but we have to clean the lenses of our scopes to be able to see them clearly.

By work, I mean the grieving or soul-searching, or the forgiving, the study, the reparation, etc.

There is also the option to stay stuck in our pain. If we keep poking a festering sore it will stay inflamed and stinging. Resisting the journey and process of change will keep us trapped at the point of incision. Time will not be able to knit the wound.

Healing, of course, does not mean a factory reset to the way it was before. Life can never be the same again — such is the paradox of time’s remedy.

Touch any scar on your body. It feels different there, the skin a different colour, perhaps raised or sunken; it may mark a weakness or it’s grown together reinforced. It certainly holds a memory, a reminder of your history and its resulting growth and learning. Our scars, inside or out, are part of what makes us who we are.

It’s amazing to see how far we’ve come over time. Look back ten years. Where were you? What have you learnt? Five years ago? Even this time last year — what were the lessons? How have you healed?

If, looking back, you are still raw and suffering from a particular wound, there may be some additional work that needs doing. Similarly, if you’re finding yourself now experiencing growing pains in the throes of life’s lessons, seek the help you need. Embrace the journey of change assured that time will eventually heal these wounds, too.

• Julia Pitt is a trained success coach and certified NLP practitioner on the team at Benedict Associates. For further information, contact Julia on 705-7488 or visit www.julia pittcoaching.com