When Kandra Dears says she is a psychosexual therapist, not everyone gets it. Last week, a guy called expecting she would hook him up with a prostitute. Rather than slam the phone down, she stayed on the line.

“I felt he had to be asking for a reason,” the 51-year-old said. “He has a little problem, so we are working on that.”

The caller is one of the handful of clients she has acquired since setting out her shingle last month.

“I decided to become a therapist after I took a workshop with Scars five years ago,” Ms Dears said.

The workshop helped her deal with sexual abuse she had suffered as a child.

“I was molested at a young age,” she said.

“Because sex was a taboo subject in my household, I couldn’t tell my family what happened.

“It kept me feeling closed in. I couldn’t express my feelings, and I felt ashamed of my body as a teenager.”

Her problems persisted as she grew older.

“I couldn’t tell my first husband about what happened,” she said. “The marriage was abusive, and I viewed sex as something negative.

“Sometimes I didn’t feel like doing it, but I did it to please the person. But, I was not being pleased.”

She was so inspired by the way Scars helped her heal, she decided to counsel others so they could work out their sexual problems.

“I’d thought about it 20 years ago, but never did anything about it,” she said. “There are a lot of people out there who don’t talk about their sexual problems, or if they do it’s just in a half-joking way with their friends.

“And the advice they get from friends isn’t always good.”

In August, she received a diploma in psychosexual therapy from Open College, an online, Britishp-based programme.

She had started the course 2½ years ago.

“The hardest part was putting myself into it,” she said. “But it really helped me to understand my own situation. That’s probably why I got an A-plus in it.”

Taking the course helped her feel more confident.

“People have said I’m not as shy any more,” she said.

She is looking for clients in need of counselling for sexual problems related to medical, age, relationship and gender issues.

She also does premarital counselling.

“Communication is the key to a happy marriage,” she said.

“People go down the aisle thinking they’re in love and then reality strikes.

“They haven’t discussed how many children they’re going to have, or whether they are going to have a house or a condo.

“It’s important to put it all down on paper first. The other thing is you have to have God in your life. You have to be on the same page in terms of that.

“You may find a person who wants the same thing as you, but you’re not in love or you’re in love with a person who doesn’t want the same thing as you.”

Kandra has been happily married to her second husband for 15 years.

“Going to church together has been our therapy,” she said. “I found the Lord 18 years ago and that really helped me forgive the person who molested me.”

Her counselling sessions start at $75 an hour.

• Learn more on Facebook under Kandra Dears or e-mail kandy5013@gmail.com.