Demanding careers and social pressures can leave parents feeling like they are falling short raising their kids.

“It’s unspoken, but it’s always there in the back of your mind,” said Sonja Stowe.

The psychiatric nurse believes the consequence is negative self-talk. She created a workshop that addresses the remedy — self-care.

“From the moment the child is born you are bound to face parenting situations that leave you feeling angry, frustrated, worried, or otherwise overstressed,” said Mrs Stowe, who specialises in child and adolescent psychiatry. “It’s normal.

“What’s important to remember is that children can be inconsistent, that they will act selfishly and be thoughtless,” she added.

“No point beating yourself up about it. It’s not because you’re a bad parent — it’s how they are.”

Mrs Stowe became a nurse 40 years ago. She joined St Brendan’s Hopital, now the Mid-Atlantic Wellness Institute, as a nurse’s aide in the 1970s. For 13 years she lived in London, working with both the National Health Service and independent hospitals, before returning to the island in 2009.

She started Serenity Consulting International two years ago, offering training and professional development programmes for nurses and caregivers.

“There are three main goals of parenting practices, it doesn’t matter what culture you are in,” she said. “One is ensuring your children’s health and safety; two is preparing your children for life as productive adults; and three is transmitting your cultural values.”

On those grounds, Mrs Stowe was twice asked to speak in Saudi Arabia as the country began to develop child protection agencies.

She said her time in the Middle East in 2013 and 2015 was “extremely interesting”.

“It’s absolutely amazing how different their culture is, especially where women are concerned. You can imagine the challenges, but it is changing.”

The changes are across the globe.

Parents of Generation Alpha babies especially, will face challenges, she said. Children born in 2010 arrived the same year as the iPad, and are expected to be more tech-savvy, educated and materialistic than previous generations.

“Although these are just predictions, demographics give us insight and allow some forecast about what the generation will need.”

While it is enormously rewarding, parenting is also enormously stressful, she said.

“Too much stress over a long period of time can be overwhelming and make it difficult to cope. The negative impact of prolonged stress can lead to physical and mental distress.”

She recommends exercise and alone time as positive coping techniques rather than drinking, smoking, shouting and neglecting personal health.

Should all else fail, there is nothing shameful in seeking professional help, she added.

“You’re trying to build children who are resilient,” said Mrs Stowe. “They learn from you how to deal with stress. If there’s stress and you have a meltdown, that’s what the child sees. As an adult, when they experience stress, they’re going to go back to that. In some families that may be alcohol and drugs; in other families they may be into yoga and mindfulness.

“It’s all about creating an environment that is more positive, that reduces your stress, the child’s stress and makes things run a lot more smoothly.”

Mrs Stowe’s monthly talks are open to the public and deal with a range of topics, such as the impact of social media on healthcare and living with dementia.

She also runs weekend workshops to help nurses to get their continuing education units. “I love nursing, I love caring for people, I love teaching people to care,” she said. “That’s where the passion lies — to see people care for others in a way that is humane and compassionate and with empathy. That’s what I love to do.”

In parenting, she recommended using laughter as a remedy “as much as you can”.

“A lot of the time we take things too seriously. Tomorrow, you’ll look back on it and realise it wasn’t that bad.”

•For more information, visit Facebook: Serenity Consulting International