Dear Carla,

I love my girlfriend but I feel that she is too clingy. She wants to be around me every waking moment and gets offended when I tell her I need some space. She then gets an attitude and goes totally silent. When I try to address it, she denies having an attitude. But I don’t believe her. Her behaviour is turning me off. I love her but I can’t take her bratty ways.

NEED A BREATH

Dear Need a Breath,

Sounds like you are stuck between a rock and a hard place, but if you love her there is nothing that you cannot work through. You guys have to find a zone that is comfortable for both of you. Show her examples of when you need space and explain to her that it’s nothing wrong with being apart from each other from time to time. But most importantly, ensure that the times that you guys are doing are spent being heartfelt. I don’t mean that you have to be lovey dovey all the time either. It sounds like she is a bit insecure so be sure to give her a hug, a kiss, endearing words…to show her that she means the world to you. Hopefully you can find middle ground.

Dear Carla,

I am doing my best not to be enemies with my ex-boyfriend. We have a child together so we have to deal with each other regularly. While I have moved on he has not. Every now and then he tries to come on to me knowing full well I have a boyfriend and when I reject him (nicely) he gets an attitude and becomes belligerent. I ignore him but he gets on my nerves. I feel I have to swallow it for the sake of our child because if it was not for our child I would react differently. My boyfriend is upset and feels I am being too nice about the situations — which causes him to get mad at me. I feel like I’m in a no-win situation.

WHAT DO I DO?

Dear What Do I Do,

I think you need to put that man in his place. He has no right to disrespect you under any circumstances. He needs to understand that what you had was in the past and you are focusing on moving forward, not backward. Do not use your child as an excuse to accept his disrespect. If he is a decent father he will take care of his child, regardless…not based on whether or not you reject his advances.

Dear Carla,

My sibling and I have not gotten along for many years and I want to make peace.

The reason we can’t is because of their spouse, who does not like me It seems to me that my sibling is afraid to let go of the past out of fear of how their spouse is going to react. When we see each other in the streets and they are not with their spouse they speak to me, although not warmly, but when they are with their spouse they ignore me. This has happened in the same day!

I tried once to hash things out with them but it was fruitless.

While I no longer hold any animosity from the past, I think my sibling is crazy to let their spouse come between us having a reconciliation. I am about to write my sibling out of my life forever. Would I be wrong?

SEARCHING

FOR PEACE

Dear Searching For Peace,

Life is too short to hold grudges but I think that you should release your sibling for now.

They are clearly not ready for new beginnings so there is nothing that you can do. Back off and leave them alone.

Let some time pass and reach out again. Wait for an opportunity where you can talk to them alone, without their spouse running interference. I hope that you can find peace because families need to stick together, especially during these trying times.