Louis van Gaal, the Manchester United manager, has never been a man to mess with.

He sits in the dugout with the aura of a mafia boss scanning his “family” for traitors.

Famously, when in charge of Bayern Munich, he challenged them to man up by dropping his pants and showing them what he thought they were lacking... balls.

“Luckily I didn’t see a lot because I wasn’t in the front row,” Luca Toni, the striker, said, conveniently avoiding having to make a potentially career-breaking assessment on Van Gaal’s junk. The Italian was, nevertheless, soon shipped out of the club.

With this in mind, spare a thought for the Manchester United staff member who yesterday tweeted the clearly-unapproved or inaccurate news that Daley Blind, the Holland player, was out for six months with an injury picked up on international duty.

That was quickly refuted by Van Gaal... before he presumably made a beeline for the club’s media department to remind the culprit where his meat and two veg are kept.

Upon reflection, the Blind topic did United a favour as, ahead of tomorrow’s Barclays Premier League game away to Arsenal, it took some of the focus away from news that Falcao, the striker, is out for a further two weeks with a fresh injury.

Signing a player just back from an anterior cruciate ligament injury in a loan deal worth a staggering £6?million looks more and more ill-judged, especially when Arsenal will line up with the player he effectively replaced, Danny Welbeck. Welbeck, who looks liberated at the Emirates, has the perfect chance to remind his old club what they are lacking tomorrow. United players will hope he fails, not least to avoid any chance of another Van Gaal strip show.

All kick offs 11am

Bermuda unless stated

Tomorrow’s games

Chelsea v West Brom

Cesc Fàbregas, Diego Costa and André Schürrle have all made miraculous recoveries from injuries after missing international games.

José Mourinho’s team already have the air of champions and West Brom, despite showing encouraging signs, do not look capable of halting a run of eight consecutive away defeats at Stamford Bridge.

Prediction: 3-0

Everton v West Ham

Unbeaten in five, Sam Allardyce’s team are full of attacking endeavour these days ever since the boardroom demanded more... attacking endeavour. It’s done the trick and Stewart Downing, the midfielder and Diafra Sakho, the striker, have been instrumental. They are, however, both injury doubts.

Prediction: 1-1

Leicester v Sunderland

Four-straight league defeats have wiped out Leicester’s early optimism, while Guy Poyet’s Sunderland have recovered manfully from the 8-0 spanking they received at the hands of Southampton.

Let’s not pretend this is going to be pretty.

Prediction: 0-1

Manchester City v Swansea

Almost by stealth — and an Arsenal capitulation — the Welsh side are up to fifth in the table. They will be no pushovers for a City side that have failed to hit the heights of last season and who have won only one of their past six games in all competitions.

Prediction: 2-0

Newcastle v QPR

“Pardew Out... Pardew Out... wait... what? We’ve won four on the trot... we’re now eighth?” Newcastle fans must be scratching their heads at the moment. How can their much-hated hierarchy be overseeing such good form. The truth is they look like a football team again.

Prediction: 2-1

Stoke v Burnley

Burnley — led by Sean Dyche, their “Ginger Mourinho” — had the fillip of a win over Hull last time out which kept the bottom club in touch with the rest of the league. But they’ll find it tough going against the home side who, with Bojan Krkic starting to add guile to the side’s undoubted muscle, will start favourites.

Prediction: 3-1

Arsenal v Manchester Utd

1.30pm

If Welbeck does score let’s hope he avoids the I’m-not-celebrating-against-my-former-club routine. What happened to the joyous fist-pump, badge-slapping euphoria of getting one over your former employers? Football would be a better place for its return.

United’s away form is dreadful but do Arsenal have the belief? Not quite.

Prediction: 2-2

Sunday’s games

Crystal Palace v Liverpool 10.30am

The corresponding fixture last season broke Liverpool’s hearts when they threw away a three-goal lead — and the title. The club haven’t recovered from that near miss or from signing Mario Balotelli, the sulky and so-far ineffective striker.

Prediction: 1-1

Hull City v Tottenham

12pm

Steve Bruce is finding it hard to live up to increased expectations while Mauricio Pochettino is having difficulty marshalling Tottenham’s prima donnas into the team unit he craves. Hull to pour more misery on the lacklustre Londoners.

Prediction: 2-1

Monday’s game

Aston Villa v Southampton

4pm

Ronald Koeman has excelled on the South Coast and, with Villa having score just five goals this season, Southampton must be favourites to continue their wonderful season to date.

Prediction: 0-2