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RG Fantasy Football: Are Chelsea boring?

Turning things around: Pardew

There’s nothing quite as boring as a winning team.

Although, having written that, thoughts instantly turn to the first half of last week’s turgid football — I think that’s what they were playing — match between Liverpool and Stoke.

But machine-like success? Is it fun to watch? I mean, even José Mourinho appears bored by constantly having to explain how good Chelsea are playing right now.

Not that their fans will care, of course, with Manchester City seemingly the only team capable of keeping pace with his impeccably drilled squad.

The last time Chelsea lost was on April 30 to Atlético Madrid, which seems eons ago.

For the rest of us fans, match day remains a wonderfully unpredictable game of chance deemed successful merely if your players are able to locate a colleague in a similarly-coloured shirt.

Fallibility and vulnerability are the real charms of football.

Just look at Newcastle; a mess of a club that is constantly on the version of implosion. What fun.

Supporters hate the chairman, Mike Ashley, and the manager, Alan Pardew, who, rather loves himself.

Players at his old club Southampton reportedly called him “Chocolate” because if he could, he’d eat himself.

To be fair to “Chocolate”, in the face of all the haters, he’s doing a fine job right now.

All things point to him melting against Chelsea, though.

Tomorrow’s games

All times Bermuda

11am unless stated

Newcastle v Chelsea

8.45am

Chelsea are still the only unbeaten team in the top flight and are able to welcome back striker Diego Costa.

A defeat and a draw has followed Newcastle’s five-win streak that took everyone — including their own fans — by surprise. Hard to see a shock here.

Prediction: 1-3

Hull City v West Bromwich Albion

All is not well at the Hawthorns — how can it be when you bring on Georgios Samaras off the bench?

They’ve lost their past four games but they go to Hull, who are winless in seven. Something has to give.

Prediction: 2-0

Liverpool v Sunderland

Two wins on the spin has pepped Liverpool up and they will be expected to add a third against Sunderland, who were smashed up by Sergio Agüero in midweek.

Gus Poyet’s men have one win in three away from home in the league this season.

Rickie Lambert to bag one in a comfortable home win. Prediction: 3-1

Queens Park Rangers v Burnley

A proverbial “six-pointer” is set up perfectly. QPR have a much-improved home record, while Burnley are unbeaten in four.

It’s also the battle of two strikers determined to prove their worth in the top division — Danny Ings and Charlie Austin. The result of that duel will be critical.

Prediction: 2-1

Stoke City v Arsenal

Always entertaining, if only to watch Arsène Wenger struggle to conceal his hatred for Stoke.

It’s a feeling borne out of the fact his side rarely deal with their opponents. Should be feisty.

Prediction: 1-1

Tottenham Hotspur v Crystal Palace

Palace have just one win in eight games and appear unable to string a consistent run of results together. The midweek defeat to Villa will have hurt manager Neil Warnock.

Spurs show glimpses of promise but remain a work in progress.

Prediction: 3-1

Manchester City v Everton

1.30pm

City are getting a head of steam, thanks largely to the superlative form of Sergio Agüero.

The boy might make a player, you know.

Everton still look a shadow of last season, which is difficult to fathom and they’ll struggle here.

Prediction: 3-0

Sunday’s games

West Ham United v Swansea

9.30am

West Ham: unbeaten in five at home. Swansea: No win in five away.

Going to stick my neck out and go for a home win.

Prediction: 2-0

Aston Villa v Leicester City

12pm

Leicester have bombed after an encouraging start and Nigel Pearson, the manager, got involved in a spat with a fan in midweek.

If they aren’t here to help, they can stay at home, was his sentiment. Luckily his team are away this weekend or they could have been playing in front of an empty stadium.

Prediction: 1-0

Monday’s game

Southampton

v Manchester United

4pm

Ronald Koeman’s team are in the middle of a tough run of games that detractors insist will prove their early season position false.

So far, they are right. A point against an improving United will help.

Prediction: 1-1

Final November standings

1 Monkey’s Eleven FC Filip Mangovic 88 254

2 TLF Gunners Javon Darrell 83 253

3 LookOut4Lamela Matthew Gerardo 72 245

4 EPL Dream Team Andrew Robinson 76 243

5 DemGoalScorers triston hall 57 239

6 The Oil Changers charlie watson 72 239

7 Spring Hill Spartans Da-Von Wade 67 237

8 Middletinho Dave Middleton 74 236

9 #OutRight Omar Dill 67 235

10 Ronameto FC Victor El Unico O. 53 235

11 . Jordon Lindsay 75 235

12 Clueless FC Gareth Williams 60 233

13 Buddyroe’s Guns Blenn Bean 73 233

14 Tekkerslovakia Stephen Lister 76 233

15 War Machine William Usher 58 233

16 Hogges Paul Watson 54 230

17 SWAGGA FC Wayne Ebbin 69 228

18 Sami’s Super Reds Joe Carolo 74 228

19 1trueutd Nathan Browne 54 227

20 Fantasy Gods Dante Richardson 72 227

21 Yolo FC Kevin Robinson 86 224

22 BenjiDun FC Benjamin Pewter 54 224

23 Rock Island FC Graham Counsell 41 223

23 we do what we want! George Bremar jr 61 223

25 STEPPIN RAZOR fc SCOTT FOX 57 223

Overall leaders

1 EPL Dream Team Andrew Robinson 76 823

2 Buddyroe’s Guns Blenn Bean 73 815

3 Monkey’s Eleven FC Filip Mangovic 88 812

4 Middletinho Dave Middleton 74 810

5 Boys dem Jose Mack MarleY 76 803

6 Valar Morghulis Mandela Fubler 98 801

7 Maybe Next Week Kameron James 77 793

8 Tekkerslovakia Stephen Lister 76 785

9 MOUNT ROAD F.C. Tyler Fox 64 781

10 To Dare Is To Do Kai Musson 72 778

11 Spartak Daisy Bruce Stocker 71 777

12 Game of Throwins Lee Williams 82 776

13 Haggis Supper MIKE HARVEY 37 774

14 Bermuda Ting James Henderson 54 768

15 Hogges Paul Watson 54 766

16 FC Chicken n Cheese Jeremy Shrubb 73 764

17 #OutRight Omar Dill 67 760

18 Sami’s Super Reds Joe Carolo 74 759

19 Canons Jamell Mcintosh 61 758

20 Brittas FC James Britland 75 755

21 GoGoUniTeD Tuumuu Purev 65 752

22 Poinciana Road FC Jorge Sanchez 80 751

23 HeWhoDaresWins Philip Matthews 87 751

24 Ronameto FC Victor El Unico O. 53 748

25 Bit of a Longshot Alex Melvin 42 746