Dear Sir,

A friend of mine sent me an e-mail the other day. He said: “Leah, Sherri J has been on a real ‘lovefest’ here lately when it comes to you. Yesterday, she practically read your bio on her show to emphasise you being a ‘status’ Bermudian and all. What have you ever done to her, honey?”

Well, I actually have no answer to that question. I don’t know Sherri J, and I know nothing about her, other than the fact that she is married to Jamahl Simmons and she hosts the Sherri J show on Magic 102.7FM. It has always amazed me that black women are each other’s biggest critics. We are the quickest to find each other’s faults, bring each other down, and pick, pick, pick at a sister until she has nothing left. After we have trod her down, then we step over her and say she isn’t worth anything.

We tell a sister who is heavy to put down that piece of cake, yet we criticise a skinny woman for not eating any. We accuse strong women of being female dogs and then turn around and accuse weaker women of not having any chutzpah. We chant at loud-mouthed woman for talking too darn much and torment a quiet woman who won’t take up for herself.

As women, we all share a common thread (whether we want to admit it or not), so is there something about ourselves that we don’t like? What has happened to us as women that we cannot seem to unify or support one another? We don’t have to look to anyone else to bring us down because we trample on each other’s spirits daily.

I am by no means suggesting that we all pretend to like each other and be phoney, but the least we can do is respect each other. Stop, pause, consider what the next woman is going through or the past hurt and pains that have moulded and shaped her into the person she is today.

We should devote our time to encouraging each other, building each other up and showing love rather than digging for dirt on each other and looking for that one piece of information that will render a person to total personal and social destruction.

Think about what a difference we could make if we focused on making a heart change.

We women must stop being the straw that breaks another woman’s back. There are women out there who need our smiles, our hugs, our support, love and prayers.

Imagine what would happen if we women were to become allies instead of enemies. Think about what we could accomplish if we chose to support and empower each other to get ahead, instead of pulling each other back and down. We would get so much farther.

I realise that not all of us will choose to take the “each one reach one” path, but we all can certainly help each other by choosing not to behave in a derogative manner towards each other. Trust me, there are enough people doing that to us already.

While my political stance or opinions may not be the same as yours, do not attack me; attack the issues I stand for and support your position against me armed with facts, not personal conjecture.

We must stop engaging in the politics of personal destruction. Instead of looking to learn from and uplift one another, we end up trying to rationalise why the level we’re on is better, and then actively attempt to convince others to join us, no matter how low that may actually be.

How disappointing that is, because it doesn’t matter which of us may be wearing beauty supply store hair or rocking a Michael Kors purse, if we’re all talking about each other or looking cross-eyed at each other, none of us are as pretty as we think.

I invite you, Sherri J, to join me in being part of the change that we, as women, need to see and be. I encourage you to use your radio show as a tool of empowerment ... a generator of positivity and unity and not negativity and division.

I entreat you to put aside your political allegiance, as I will mine, and join me in being a contributor to the wholeness of women, in particular, and Bermuda in general.

LEAH K SCOTT

• The author would like to cite hellobeautiful.com as a source of reference for parts of this letter. She apologises for the unintentional and inadvertent omission of this reference at the time of print publication.