Dear Sir,

“Oh my dear she’s pregnant. That’s so and so’s daughter; I remember when she was a baby herself. I’m shocked.”

I’m sure we’ve all heard or made similar remarks regarding a young person in our life when we found out they were pregnant.

I anticipate that there will be those across the gender board that can relate. However, I write especially to my young brothers because although the female gets pregnant and bears the social and physical ramifications, it cannot be done without us fellas.

Undoubtedly, the chemistry of our bodies, specifically the high levels of testosterone, sometimes coupled with the feeling of “being in love” places us in predicaments in which we don’t always make the most rational decisions.

Yes, I’m talking about using contraceptives. To use a term most are familiar with, let’s “keep it 100”.

Young people do have sex, and will continue to do so. Contraceptives are not perceived by all to be cool; some believe the pleasure of skin-to-skin sexual contact is worth the risk of both getting pregnant, and/or the transmission of sexually transmitted diseases. Others live for the moment — they call it “YOLO” (you only live once).

The reality is that we all have goals. For a lot of us, our goal is to attain a degree that will earn us our dream job. We understand that it is imperative to ascertain a degree to secure any profitable employment.

It will be different for all of us, but think about the thing you live every day of your life to achieve, the thing that you want most in life.

Now ask yourself, would you give that up, or put that off for a moment’s pleasure? That is the risk we take when we have unprotected sex because bringing a child into this world brings a serious responsibility.

Your life is no longer just about you, but instead should become about the wellbeing of your child. Let us think about some things before having unprotected sex:

n Am I in a position to care for a child at this point in my life?

n Am I willing to sacrifice it all to protect and care for a child?

n Will my child have the best possible life based on where I am in my life right now?

Fellas, these are the questions we must ask ourselves before we make what can be life-changing decisions.

On another note, the “love” aspect of things needs to be addressed. Some say that they are in love and will stick with the mother of the child through it all, because they are in love and will be together forever.

Some teenage parents do end up married and successful and kudos to them.

Notwithstanding that, we cannot ignore the daunting reality that most teen parents don’t end up together in 20 years, thus creating “baby-mama” and “baby-daddy” vibes that aren’t ideal for any child.

Think about it. Look back on your life, no matter how old, and remember how many people you thought were “the one”. Exactly. We are young and at this age often get caught up in emotions. The person we find ourselves “in love” with now is the one we think we will be with for the rest of our lives.

Both your standard of life and your child’s life are lowered significantly when you become a teenage parent. So ask yourself:

n Am I willing to put my significant other in a position that will disadvantage their future by bringing a child into the world, when neither of us are prepared or in a position to care or raise for one? Do I really love them?

n Do I really love myself and value the goals and things I’ve set out to achieve?

If your answer to the first question was “no”, then you know what to do.

If your answer to the last two questions was “yes”, you do love your significant other, and yes you truly love yourself and value the goals you have set out to achieve, then don’t put you or your loved one in a position that could hinder their prospects of living the best life possible.

Let me be clear. Getting pregnant at a young age doesn’t write your life off. Life is precious, and should never be classified as a “mistake” or unplanned occurrence.

Do not give up, because now you don’t live just for you, you live for your baby.

I hope that we understand as young people that it is important not to let the decisions of today, the temporary pleasure of today, and the emotions of today cause us to ignore the reality of what tomorrow could bring.

Eron Hill