There will be days when nothing goes right. The baby will be endlessly upset and you won’t know why but it will leave you stressed and tired, looking at your to-do list like a college student looks at their biochemistry syllabus during first semester.

Breathe.

If the baby is lying on your chest at the time they’ll probably be soothed by the sound of your breath and heartbeat. It might give you a good 13 minutes of respite to organise your day. I might have a party to celebrate when the twins start sleeping all the way through the night.

So how do we minimise the number of days where things don’t really go our way with newborns? I have no clue, but maybe the question should be, “How do we maximise the number of ways to fix things when they don’t go how we expected them to?”

Hopefully, you’ve got a team around you to assist. If you’ve got a sick child, or maybe multiple babies that are hungry or need changing, having another set of hands is a great help even if they don’t have that much experience.

Collaboration is a great way to help alleviate the stress and frustration of early parenthood. Make a schedule. Set your alarms. When it comes to babies the adage should be “many hands make light work”, rather than “too many cooks spoils the broth”. The broth, in this case, can’t be spoilt because, well, you’ll see when it’s your turn to change diapers.

What is really important about the use of collaborative methods when taking care of children is this: you’ll be happier doing it that way. If you are happy, then your environment will become more positive and your children will have a better chance of creating positive associations and relationships with you and your family. So much is in our control as parents to create an environment where our children are comfortable being happy and seeing happy relationships around them. A lighter workload for each parent can go a long way to helping kids to develop a happy disposition too. Imagine what our children could be like if collaboration and service within the family was normal and expected. Maybe then chores wouldn’t feel like chores, and they’d look for opportunities to help around the house. Try to see the end in the beginning. Having a vision of the people you would like your children to become is a bit like having your destination mapped out before you leave home on a long trip. It can only help in their development, and yours too.