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Manhood is not defined by control over a woman

Dear Dr Nekia,

I saw a video on social media that said scientists have found women can carry the DNA from every man they sleep with. Also, that DNA can mix with the DNA of her current partner if she gets pregnant. This means that his child could have the DNA of other men.

Let’s just say this is true. Isn’t this even more reason for men to be careful of choosing women who have had multiple sexual partners? And isn’t this more proof that women are not built to sleep around?

I mean, it is kind of disgusting to be walking around having someone else’s DNA inside of you.

Sincerely,

DNA Carriers

Dear DNA Carriers,

Yes, there have been some studies that have shown that women carry residual DNA from their sexual partners. Women also can carry leftover DNA from any male child she aborted, miscarried or birthed. It has been speculated that such DNA can mix with the DNA of an embryo.

However, we must be very careful when it comes to the interpretation of such findings. Such research is not aimed at furthering an agenda or belief system that women should be more chaste than men. Aside from that, how does this determine whether someone is of good character or not? Is it the number of sexual partners a woman has had or currently has? Or is it the kind of men that she chooses that reflects her morale?

One could argue that this research in fact proves that females are built to have multiple male partners if they so choose. The goal is propagation of the species and survival of fittest, so maybe polyandry should be a part of human evolution; women able to collect and store DNA will be sure to give birth to the strongest possible offspring.

To this end, women will have to become more selective of their sexual partners and also be sure to be in good health so that their bodies can naturally select which DNA to choose and combine.

Any man truly worried about another man’s DNA being a part of his child will want to treat her as divinely as possible, be worthy of being that one male who she desires and can turn to.

In this respect, maybe it is not the female who should be scrutinised and judged. There is no doubt that females are created and formed to carry, incubate and birth life and sex is a big part of that.

Dear Dr Nekia,

I’m dating a woman who just doesn’t listen. I don’t know what it is about her but if I say go left she will go right. If I say it’s up, she says it’s down. I think it is becoming a real problem in our relationship.

I’m not saying she should do everything I say, but so much could be avoided if she would just trust me and listen.

I’m also not trying to be controlling but sometimes a man needs to lead to feel useful and strong.

Sincerely,

She Doesn’t Listen

Dear She Doesn’t Listen,

If you are not saying your woman should do everything according to how you see it should be, then what are you saying?

And if you are not trying to be controlling then what are you trying to do?

I do understand that a man who is allowed to lead can have a greater sense of control, purpose and strength, but that man must also understand that lead does not mean dictate. You must remember that your woman is your partner, not your daughter.

Be certain that your approach isn’t too overbearing because when a woman feels that she is being controlled, she can purposefully do the opposite of what you want her to do. Instead of giving her solutions to problems, present them as suggestions.

Always show that you value her outlook by asking for her input. And most of all, do not give instructions expecting that she will follow suit. She has her own mind and, even though she may make mistakes, don’t we all at some time or another?

It can be a hard thing for a woman to put her trust in her man. And that’s especially so for women who have had to be self-reliant or those who have been deeply hurt by men they have cared about. They will need time before they learn how to trust again. Your manhood should never be dependent upon what someone else says or does. It most certainly should not be defined by how much influence or control you have over a woman.

•Want relationship advice? E-mail nakedtruth@royalgazette.com