People are being urged to reconsider how they view those who have experienced sexual assaults amid concerns victims are often blamed for the crimes against themselves.

Survivors are also being urged to speak about their experiences this month to help other victims open up, seek help and heal.

This is the message of the Centre Against Abuse — as well as a sex assault survivor — who spoke to The Royal Gazette as part of sexual assault awareness month.

According to Laurie Shiell, the executive director of the CAA, 12 sexual assault victims, five of which were under the age of 18, were examined by the Sexual Assault Response Team last year. In 2014, there were 19 examinations, with four victims under the age of 18, and in 2013, there were 13 examinations, and one victim under 18.

But Ms Shiell stressed that these figures “by no means” reflect the real number of sexual assaults in Bermuda because a lot go unreported.

“We know that there are others out there that have been raped and have never come forward,” she said.

One sexual assault victim, who cannot be named for legal reasons, said no one wants to have to say they were raped.

“The questions that follow that statement, you don’t want to answer those because everyone seems to victim blame without realising that’s what they’re doing. What were you drinking? What were you wearing? Why did you go to the house? Why, if you were the only girl there, didn’t you leave? If you said “no”, no is no and that’s it.”

The 26-year-old was sexually assaulted by three men when she was 16 [see separate story here for her full account]. And while she initially tried to push it to the back of her mind, she decided to open up about her experience two years ago.

“I think it was during sexual assault awareness month. I went to a Scars [Saving Children and Revealing Secrets] training and bawled my eyes out.

“A week later, that’s when I posted my first post on Facebook. I remember that day clearly. Everyone was very supportive.”

She said sexual assault awareness month helps people open up more, which is an important part of the healing process.

“You feel more comfortable as a victim or a survivor to share your stories during that time and when other people hear someone else has been through what they’ve been through, then they become more comfortable and they reach out and there’s kind of a chain-effect.

“Don’t be afraid to talk — that’s the best way to heal, talking, writing, letting it out somehow — even if you go running somewhere, you have to let it out somehow.”

According to Ms Shiell, there is often shame attached to being a rape survivor, even though it “is the perpetrator who should be ashamed”.

She explained that rape “is a crime against your body”, which differs from a crime against your home, or even against the body externally.

“We treat the victims as if they’re wrong,” she said, adding that people often start questioning a victim’s behaviour instead of that of the perpetrator. Also, families might not believe victims, which creates shame and leads to them thinking that “something must be wrong with me”.

“Victims don’t normally hear it was not their fault and that is what we try to advocate for them,” she said.

Ms Shiell also stressed that nothing a victim said, where they were or what they were wearing, would have prevented the rape, which “was designed by the perpetrator”.

“This happens to more than just females — it’s everybody’s business to put a stop to it, to bring awareness about it.”

As part of sexual awareness month, the CAA is encouraging people to speak about their experiences.

“We’re trying to encourage adults to talk to younger people about it, to share your story if your able. We want to give those who don’t have a voice, a voice.”

The team is also encouraging children to speak up if something doesn’t feel right, and parents to listen to the cues their children are giving them.

“It’s never too early to start talking to your children and an age-appropriate level,” Ms Shiell added.

The CAA is the island’s one-stop shop for adult victims of domestic abuse and sexual assault. It is alerted when a victim of sexual assault reports the crime to police, their doctor or the hospital.

“We meet you there at the hospital and talk to you about the services that are available,” Ms Shiell said.

In a client-led setting, the CAA assists in every way possible, whether through counselling, protection orders, safe-housing assistance or education.

•For more information, visit www.facebook.com/Centre-Against-Abuse-CAA-200111301769/?fref=ts, call 292-4366 or the hotline at 297-8278