Ten years after being subjected to an horrific sexual assault by three men, Ms X saw one of her attackers in the street.

She contemplated crossing the road but decided to face him. He apologised and attempted to justify the crime by suggesting they were “young” and “dumb”.

But Ms X, who cannot be named for legal reasons, does not want to hear excuses because there are no excuses for having her pleas of “no” and “stop” ignored, there are no excuses for being held down and raped.

“If you said ‘no’, no is no and that’s it,” the 26-year-old said.

She wanted to say: “You’re sorry? Are you really sorry?”

“There’s no excuse for me saying no, there is no excuse for you holding me down and raping me — but it never came out of my mouth.

“I just let him say what he had to say and I walked to work and I cried and that was it.”

Ms X has spoken out about the attack, which took place when she was 16-year-old, and how it has impacted her as part of sexual assault awareness month and to help others.

“I’m more cautious but I shouldn’t have to be. It was a very bad experience but I’ve learnt not to trust as easily.

“I learnt that everyone has a story and everyone has been through something and to show compassion for them because you never know what people have been through.

“I understand people better but I still cry about it. I still have emotions about it — I think about it every day.

“That doesn’t mean I cry about it every day, but it crosses my mind every day. You can’t just forget, you shouldn’t forget it. You hope that you forget it but you’re not going to.”

Ms X was sexually assaulted by three men, who she was “supposed to be hanging out with according to the text messages they sent”.

She had spent time with them the night before, “sitting around, talking, laughing, listening to music”.

She was attacked by all three of them and only got away when an older brother of a classmate recognised her.

“When I went out there it was probably ten more guys that had arrived at the house. I don’t know; if he hadn’t known me it would have been a lot more guys.

“When I got out the door, one guy says, ‘You’re not going to cry rape, are you?’ I just looked at him and walked off the hill and kept walking.”

After meeting her friend and telling her what had happened, she reported the crime and went through the examination process.

“When it comes to court, they try and make you look like the bad one about where you were, were you drinking, were you doing this, were you flirting. None of that should matter. Even if I had sex with someone before, if I told them ‘no’, no is no.”

The court case dragged on for two years. “There were three different guys and they had three different lawyers and I swear, every time I went back, one of the lawyers was sick or something came up; they dragged it out as long as possible.”

When she was 18, she decided to drop the case.

“I didn’t want to have to face them in court again and then they had changed the prosecutor on me. I was done — I was emotionally drained.

“It’s a brutal process. If there was a better way, I would probably have continued.”

Although she had quit drinking, she started again after the attack. “I remember I went to a prom after party and I got so drunk I blacked out but I was with my friend and she took me home. I woke up in the bathroom pouring water over my own head, crying with all the girls around me asking what’s wrong and I just looked at my best friend, hugged her and was like ‘I can’t do this anymore’.”

Ms X said she coped by writing poetry, talking to a trusted teacher, and by “disappearing”.

She would skip classes because she could not be around the people who knew the perpetrators or delivered messages to her on their behalf.

But she persevered with her school work and about two years ago she started talking about what happened.

“Years passed and I probably had a few more blackout nights. I kept a diary but I never really spoke to anyone. They didn’t force me to go to counselling and I didn’t want to; I didn’t want to hear about anybody else’s sad stories, I didn’t want to talk about it.

“Then I met the man I’m with now and he was supportive, he understood, he listened when I needed to talk, left me alone when I needed to be left alone.

“One day I just posted on Facebook about my experience, hoping to help somebody else.”

But she does not want pity.

“That’s the part of telling your story when everybody looks at you and it’s more like a look of pity or ‘sorry’ and they don’t know what to say.

“You feel like, why am I even telling you, you just pitying me I don’t want pity. I’m crying but what can you do?”

Ms X’s advice to anyone who finds themselves in her position is to listen to your gut instincts, report the crime and not to remove any evidence.

“Always go with your first instinct because I know that day I felt something but I just ignored it.

“Even if you don’t want to report it, even if you think that you’re not going to win your case, the fact that you face your attacker in court — you won’t feel any regrets about that part.

“And as much as you want to take a shower afterwards, don’t because you’re taking away evidence of possibly getting them arrested and locked up.”

And don’t be afraid to talk about it, she said, because “it’s the best way to heal”.