When Neymar is worth $258 million that’s a jaw-dropping moment.

But when that’s enough to buy only four Kyle Walkers, or 172 Nahki Wellses, you know the world’s gone mad.

While Qatar’s ... I mean Paris Saint-Germain’s capture of the Brazilian is newsworthy, there are plenty of thrills and spills on the horizon when the Premier League gets back under way on Friday night.

Of course, that means only one thing: the return of The Royal Gazette Fantasy Football competition. Last year’s champion Jesse Marshall is now $1,000 richer and, understandably, still crowing to the few people who will listen about his title-winning season.

“I am absolutely delighted to have won last season’s RG Fantasy Football league,” he exclusively told the Gazette’s dedicated, subscription, Fantasy-only TV channel, “especially since my Dad said that playing was a ‘waste’ of time.

“I bet he’s still expecting that celebratory drink!

“Anyway, I hear the clamour for me to reveal the secrets of my success and I wish I could say it was all due to moving a stone’s throw away from Old Trafford for my first job and watching my beloved team play beautiful attacking football. In fact, I think I saw more draws than wins when I attended!

“In all honestly, it was probably a little bit of skill, a lot of luck and just enough of Harry Kane that got me over the line!

“Best of luck — but not too much — to everyone playing this season, may the best manager win.”

So to quote Sir Alex Ferguson, can anyone knock Jesse of his “******* perch”?

If you want to try, go to www.premierleague.com, pick your squad and enter The Royal Gazette League (code 1129264-541165). Once again, there is a $3,000 prize pot up for grabs. The champion receives a prize worth $1,000, second collects $500, third $300 and fourth $200. In addition to this, the best manager each month wins a prize of $100. Each Premier League weekend will be previewed in these pages via a set of questionable predictions by yours truly and all we ask is that, if you are a monthly winner, you get in touch before the following month is complete as this avoids a backlog of managers claiming their prizes.

Updates on the winners will be provided in the paper, at www.royalgazette.com and on Twitter @jeburton9.

So what are you waiting for, the snorefest of preseason is done. Sign up, pick your squad and join me in Friday’s paper for the first previews of the new season.