As someone whose predictions have so far been about as successful as Philippe Coutinho’s agent, here’s hoping the Premier League settles down a bit this week.

A sure sign that some things are returning to a level of predictability is the return of Roy Hodgson. Despite his dazed and embarrassing end as England manager, I have a soft spot for the new Crystal Palace boss.

An out-of-the-box appointment he is not, however; a man more Mike Bassett “4-4-f*****g-2” than Total Football.

But after Palace’s decision to “change their football DNA” and bring in Frank de Boer lasted four league games, no goals and no wins, the club have s**t the bed and panicked.

A win for short-termism, which isn’t to say De Boer is any good. One player even called him “a bit of a weirdo”, although that hasn’t held back Arsène Wenger.

Anyway, I, for one, will enjoy listening to Uncle Roy — a rare Englishman unafraid of Czech literature and foreign languages — bang on about the defensive merits of Joel Ward.

Nothing like that familiar feeling.

11am kick-offs unless stated

Today

AFC Bournemouth v Brighton & Hove Albion

4pm

Bournemouth have, despite decent-looking recruitment, made a dreadful start and look lost, shipping goals in the process.

They come up against a Brighton team riding high after their excellent 3-1 win over WBA.

Prediction: 2-2

Tomorrow

Crystal Palace v Southampton

8.30am

Palace will hope Hodgson’s appointment will result in an uptick in results. He’ll need to address the lack of goals and start feeding Christian Benteke.

Saints have their own issue with a lack of goals — all three of their strikes this season came in one game — and may succumb to a liberated Palace squad.

Prediction: 2-1

Huddersfield Town v Leicester City

Huddersfield got a wake-up call against West Ham on Monday night when they were not at the races and got beat in a scruffy game.

Leicester have had a tough fixture list early on and look equipped to get something in West Yorkshire.

Prediction: 1-2

Liverpool v Burnley

Last week’s embarrassment away to Manchester City will have given a few Liverpool players sleepless nights. Sadio Mané is suspended after kicking Ederson in the head, which may result in the return of Coutinho.

Burnley will prey on Liverpool’s defensive frailties but are without highly rated goalkeeper Tom Heaton, who is injured.

Prediction: 2-1

Newcastle United v Stoke City

Newcastle are gunning for their third straight win but will come up against it when they take on a Stoke side who have beaten Arsenal and held Manchester United to a draw already.

Mark Hughes’s side don’t have a great away record — one win in their past ten league games — but should get a point.

Prediction: 1-1

Watford v Manchester City

There is a feeling now — given recent free-scoring wins — that Pep Guardiola’s side are really hitting their straps.

Gabriel Jesus and Sergio Agüero, fed by the sublime Kevin De Bruyne is a mouth-watering combination.

Watford will struggle to fend off City.

Prediction: 1-3

West Bromwich Albion v West Ham United

Slaven Bilic may have earned a stay of execution on Monday night but a trip to the Hawthorns will not be a comfortable one. Baggies to get back on track after the defeat to Brighton.

Prediction: 2-0

Tottenham Hotspur v Swansea City

1.30pm

The Wembley hoodoo is over! Repeat: the Wembley hoodoo is over! And so is August, which means Harry Kane is starting to find the net again. Bad news for the Swans.

Prediction: 3-0

Sunday

Chelsea v Arsenal

9.30am

Given Chelsea’s quick return to the form of champions, there is nothing to suggest this game will not cement what many people already think: that Arsenal have slipped well off top-four pace.

Prediction: 2-0

Manchester United v Everton

Noon

Everton’s form has surprisingly disintegrated after limp defeats to Tottenham and Atalanta. Talk of them breaking into the top six already look premature. The return of Wayne Rooney to Old Trafford will capture the headlines but it won’t be a happy one.

Prediction: 3-1