There is only one thing as predictable as a Liverpool defensive collapse, and that’s David Unsworth at the Everton post-match buffet.
Dugout gesticulating is hungry work, just ask Steve Bruce. Jürgen Klopp, meanwhile, was stunned into appetite-ruining stillness by Sevilla’s excellent second-half Champions League comeback, which was helped along its way by a typical Alberto Moreno brainfreeze.
Journalists also dropped a Moreno, as no one is saying, by refusing to let the facts get in the way of a good story.
It was reported that the Sevilla manager, sensing his team needed a jolt of life-affirming proportions, duly did just that and told the team of his cancer diagnosis at half-time. For half-time, read last Sunday. Sunday ... Wednesday ... whatever. Still, there seems little doubt that Eduardo Berizzo, who has prostate cancer, plugged into his players’ emotions to inspire the fightback.
Football is, despite what Bill Shankly believed, not quite as important as life and death, so all the best to Berizzo.
Anyway, back to the Premier League, and David Moyes’s latest career suicide mission …
11am kick offs
unless stated
Tonight
West Ham v Leicester City
4pm
West Ham are winless in five as Moyes looks to add some steel to what is a talented but limp line-up. Leicester will be a tough test as Claude Puel has made an encouraging start and the Foxes have won their past two visits to East London.
Prediction: 1-2
Tomorrow
Crystal Palace v Stoke City
I’ll confess, and not for the first time. I have a soft spot for Roy Hodgson. Maybe it’s his granddad goal celebrations, football worldliness, or just general niceness. Therefore, I’m backing Palace. I also happen to think he will get the best, eventually, out of Christian Benteke.
Prediction: 2-1
Man United v Brighton
Am I alone in thinking that for 45 minutes Newcastle were better than United last weekend? Admittedly, United’s quality came through in style in the end, and that same star dust should be way too much for Brighton.
Prediction: 3-0
Newcastle United v Watford
Newcastle have lost their past three and Watford are enjoying a superb season. Fancy a home point here though — things are not as bad as they seem at St James’s.
Prediction: 1-1
Swansea v Bournemouth
Something has gone wrong at Swansea. The early organisational promise of the Paul Clement era has given way to a team with little threat. Bournemouth’s Callum Wilson warmed the hearts last weekend with a hat-trick after his injury woes — he could do some more damage here.
Prediction: 0-2
Tottenham v WBA
Tony Pulis paid the price for hitting his midtable ceiling. Fans pay (a lot of) good money to watch these teams play, and the entertainment level was deemed insufficient.
Sadly for them, they will probably get a shoeing at Wembley.
Prediction: 4-0
Liverpool v Chelsea
1.30pm
Big game. Big personalities. The Champions League meltdown will surely have hurt Liverpool, while Eden Hazard is slowly slipping through the gears. Liverpool have kept a clean sheet in seven of their eight home league games but a draw is the best they can hope for here.
Prediction: 1-1
Sunday
Southampton v Everton
9.30am
Saints have begun to look directionless under Mauricio Pellegrino but at least have Charlie Austin back in the fold. His goals may be crucial. Everton have gone in so many directions this season, they are now officially lost.
Prediction: 2-1
Burnley v Arsenal
10am
The Gunners have their mojo back after slaying rivals Spurs but can they get up for a trip to Turf Moor. I think they will but it’s also clear Sean Dyche & Co will be waiting. Hard-fought.
Prediction: 1-2
Huddersfield Town v Manchester City
Noon
City continue to look sublime but the injury to John Stones and the creakiness of Vincent Kompany present a potential opportunity for Huddersfield. That is, of course, providing they stop Jesus, Aguero, De Bruyne, Sterling … etc
Prediction: 0-3
