On the weekend she should have been celebrating her only child?s 22nd birthday Marsha Jones was once again feeling the aching void of Shaundae?s loss.

The bright Bermuda College student was shot and killed outside a Dockyard nightclub in an unsolved crime which rocked the Island.

Once again friends and family rallied round, wearing T-shirt tributes and keeping her spirits up but time is not helping heal the wounds from the loss of Marsha?s only child.

Not with his killer still on the loose and boasting.

This week Police promised they will solve the April 2003 murder. Lead investigator Detective Chief Inspector Stuart Crockwell told : ?There are things in the pipeline but I cannot comment on them.?

?This case is going to be solved. There will be a judicial hearing, I can assure you of that. We are quite confident.?

However, he said there had been no sightings of prime suspect Kenith Clifton Bulford who fled the Island nor could he shed light on where Police believed he was.

Marsha has heard the Police promises all before.

?They say ?don?t worry, we are going to get him?, it is not like I don?t trust them or they don?t care but so many things have taken place.

?The Police just keep coming up empty. When they think they are getting somewhere it falls through. I am built up and dropped down. I feel like a see-saw.

?They had a suspect but they couldn?t hold him. I think they need to upgrade the laws. Crime in Bermuda is getting more vicious, they should come along with the times.

?I know there are people who knew what happened, I know he?s bragged to people about how he killed my son, I wish some of them would have a heart and come forth and say who did this and this is what happened.

?I know it takes a man to do that or a special kind of person.

?Something might happen to him. His lifestyle isn?t healthy. I don?t want that, I want him to face me. He?s out there having a life but all I have is a grave.

?If he told me he was sorry I think I could get past this and forgive him.

?No man has the right to take another man?s life. I am the victim.

?Sometimes I feel like giving up but I can?t. It?s with me every morning when I open my eyes. I can?t have any closure.

?What?s hurting now is most serious crimes which took place in 2003 have either already been to the court or are in the midst of that but I am still with nothing. I am happy for those families but I want justice, what about me??

She said Police should have been able to hold the suspect for longer when they first had him. ?There are so many things to protect the criminals but what about the victim?

?The Police are saying they are operating with laws going back to 1926 but in 2005 people are chopping people up and there are so many horrifying things.?

She called for tougher sentences to make the men of violence think twice.

?Sometimes when I call the Police I feel like a nuisance, not that they treat me that way, but I am going over the same thing over and over and over.

?It?s been almost two years, I am fed up with a negative response coming out, it just seems so hopeless.

?He would have been 22 on Sunday and would have been graduating college this year. I wonder where life would be leading him from there. All these things I will never know.

?His friends still rally around me, they still hang in there with me. Some still come to my door, look at me there are tears running down their faces.

?Sometimes I go by his grave and sit there. I take flowers but he doesn?t even know they are there.? Sometimes she sees his friends there as she passes. ?They are in pain, it is not just me.

?It?s overwhelming, words cannot say how I feel. People keep telling me hang in there, hang in there but it?s very, very difficult especially that he?s all I had. I never thought all these months later I would still have nothing.

?It makes it seem as if you can murder somebody and get away with it. I am not saying the Police have not been trying, I am not blaming the Police. They really keep in touch and really try but it takes team work to get something done, it can?t just be some of them busting their behinds, they need back up.

?They say they will try something and but are then are told they can?t do it.

?People ask and I say I am doing OK, I am so far from OK. It is just pain, you wake up with pain, you go to sleep with pain, sometimes when I think about him I just break down and cry.?

Marsha has tried to make the best of it.

On Saturday night 400 people attended a benefit for a Shaundae scholarship fund at Southampton Rangers, raising $3,600.

But she has also met resistance.

?I am trying to put together a scholarship in his name, he went to school all his life and I wanted to do something for someone?s child and I keep getting blocked, people say they don?t what kind of character will come out in the trial.

?But is there going to be a trial?

?I put money aside in Shaundae?s name but I can?t do anything. People say wait for the case.

?Is it because he died violently that he doesn?t have the right to be remembered?

?But if he had drowned or got killed in an accident then it is OK? What do I have a right for? The things I try to make me feel better and help me heal still get blocked but people don?t know what I am going through.?

Yesterday at her home off Khyber Pass, Warwick, friends and family paid tribute before heading to the PHC game ? something Shaundae would have done if he was still alive.

Half sister Tracy Bean said: ?He was a loving person who would do anything for anybody. Even though he?s gone everyone still comes around.?

Robert Bean said the keen interest and support showed how much Shaundae had meant to people.

?It?s more of a positive thing for me than a negative.? While old pal Clay Smith said: ?I for one looked up to him. He was always around teaching me stuff.?

Marsha said: ?I had a good 20 years, it wasn?t perfect, he wasn?t perfect but I don?t think I should be treated differently. There are so many kids around here that could use that scholarship. I would love to do something for them. Does anyone think he?s some kind of big time criminal?

?He?s the victim, it makes no sense, he was totally blown away but nobody wants to touch it.

?I used to constantly talk to Shaundae and leave notes on his bed or in the bathroom saying if you are going out have a safe time.

?He didn?t get in fights but I knew what was going on even then. I would lay in bed and wait to hear the click and think ?he?s home, thank you Jesus? but the click is no more.

?I am alone as far as family is concerned. I have very good people in my life but I miss my little family.

?I just can?t stop crying. When you take someone?s life you cannot put life back in them, it?s final.

?I really thought by now I would feel a whole lot better but I don?t. A lot of it is there is no closure.

?It?s almost two years since his death ? I never thought I would be sitting waiting for the same thing. I am fed up, disgusted and angry. I need my day in court.

?If someone was doing time for my son?s death I could start to put things to rest but I will never let go. I know some people say not her again, they are tired. Well that?s tough, my child is dead.

?I will speak until my dying day, until something comes out of it ? it?s all I have.?