Convicted killer Sharina Anne Tuzo has admitted that she "turned a blind eye" while her boyfriend Jermaine Pearman was brutally beating their five-month-old godson Saed Young.

In a handwritten letter to the dead child's mother, Roshea Young Lewis, last month Tuzo begs for forgiveness and admits Saed would alive if she had got him medical attention or taken him away. In the letter, Tuzo calls the boy by the nickname she had given him while he was alive, "Sadie".

Tuzo, who had denied manslaughter, was convicted of the charge after a jury decided she did nothing to protect the child even though she knew Pearman was attacking the baby.

Tuzo wrote the letter to Ms Lewis, which has been given to The Royal Gazette, after she backed out of a meeting arranged to allow Ms Lewis to express her feelings to the prisoner before she is released on the streets.

The letter reads as follows:

Letter from Sharina Tuzo to Roshea Young Lewis, dated 29 July, 2002

Dear Rochea (sic),

First and foremost I want to give you my deepest apology. I am so very sorry for all the pain and trauma I have caused you, as well as your family. I don't know how I could have let anything happen to Sadie the way I did.

I loved him and still do love him, like he was my very own. I know it's because of me that he is no longer with us and that tears me apart because of how much he meant to me. Because of me not getting him help or getting him away he is gone. Instead I just turned a blind eye to what was really going on because I didn't want to accept that he was being hurt.

I knew something was not right but still I didn't act on it. Instead I just listened to all the lies I was being told and accepted them. In my heart I know I was wrong, but back then I couldn't see that. I feel so terrible because I know if I would have gotten him away he would still be alive.

I think about him all the time. I have had plenty of sleepless nights because I know I did him wrong. I should have been there for him but I wasn't. I think about you sometimes, too, because you trusted me as a friend, as well as to take care of your son, my godson, and I ended up breaking that trust and caused your son his life.

I will never be able to forgive myself for that. I also lost you as a friend in the process and that hurts as well cause our friendship meant a lot to me. I have wanted to write you for quite some time, but I was never able to get the courage to go through with it, because I was scared and ashamed. That's why it is still hard for me to go through with the meeting.

I couldn't even begin to imagine all that my actions have put you through. It hurts me every time I think about it. I cried so much for you and your family.

I know that one day I am going to have to face you and I won't lie, I am scared cause you were dear to me and so was Sadie. I know it hasn't been easy for you, cause I know it hasn't been easy for me.

I just want you to know that I still care about you and that you are always in my prayer. I am so sorry. I can't say that enough, I am so sorry for all that I put you through. I hope one day you will be able to find it in your heart to forgive me, even if it's a little bit. Before I go I also want to say I am how sorry I am about your mom passing.

And congratulations on your marriage and baby. I wish you all the best and all the happiness.

Sincerely,

Sharina.

P.S. Please don't hate me forever.