No group was ever happier to have lost a race than the American contingent at yesterday's Non-Mariner's Race.

The four-strong last minute entrants from Los Angeles and Maryland were at the Sandy's Boat Club when they learned anyone could participate in the annual non-race and said they had to do it. The group consisting of Melissa McGlynn, her two sisters and brother-in-law quickly ran to the pharmacy to purchase a wading pool and some shovels.

"We crossed the line first which means we are automatically disqualified. We are very proud because only a Bermudian should win this," said Ms Mcglynn of Maryland

She explained that their "The Kitner Boy Memorial Float" paid tribute to the little boy who gets eaten by the shark in the movie Jaws. "We did it just for him. It was a great loss to us all," she said. The group revelled with the locals at the non-event which ended the Cup Match holiday and said they had been made to feel very welcome.

Officials in the Society of Non-Mariners stressed that the beauty of the event is that everyone wins although the Americans were still the last to receive their prizes. This year's non-race featured satirical non-crafts on political issues such as Bermuda joining Caricom, the "plans" to move the St. George's Police Station and the alleged delay of the new Berkeley Institute.

Around ten non-groups were said to have participated in yesterday's event and hundreds of spectators filled the area in boats and on foot to enjoy the satire, fun and silliness.

Lampooning plans for Bermuda to join Caricom, the "Banana Caricom Express" featured Laura Hershey and Dana Hughes sitting on two bananas tied together while they were pushed by their fianc?es Jason and Mark Semos. However, Ms Hershey said they had entered the race for the beer prizes.

"The Georgez Poleeze Fuzztation" apparently sunk and then resurfaced three times and non-crewman Richard Powell explained that, like the St. George's Police Station: "It's here, it's not."

The White Heron group captained by Paul Maccoy featured men with large busts wearing wigs who claimed to be non-pupils in "School's Out". The entry highlighted the alleged delay of the new Berkeley Institute.

Mr. Maccoy said that the non-craft featured "non-steel" "no walls" and "no floors". A foreman and non-headmaster were also on hand.

The Mariners GPS Expat Locator was entered by foreign residents and visitors and was captained by Terry Madeiros who said he was "ex-pat friendly". Non-captain Teddy Gosling's "Cruzan for a Brewzan" promoted Cruzan tropical rums, recently made available in Bermuda. Mr. Gosling said the Cruzan drinks were coming to break the butts of the ice breakers (Smirnoff Ice) and the breeze breakers (Bacardi Breezers).

As the Sandys Rest Home has closed, proceeds for the exciting non-event will go to the Monreve Rest Home.