The Protector

THE Protector<$> is probably the only movie you’ll see this year in which a character runs around yelling, “Where are my elephants?” in sub-titled English before annihilating anyone who provides the wrong answer.Yes, the film gleefully revels in the ridiculousness of its butt-kicking excess, which is probably why Quentin Tarantino was drawn to it and wanted to share it with American audiences. (Like Hostel<$> and Hero<$>, the film carries the “Quentin Tarantino presents” tag before the title.) You can see the allure, if only on the most fundamental, visceral level, writes Christy Lemire.

Tony Jaa, star of the 2003 cult favourite Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior, once again dazzles with his mastery of the Muay Thai martial art, kicking and spinning and snapping the arms and legs of a seemingly endless stream of attackers. This is one of those movies where guys literally stand in line, waiting to get beaten up.

As the acrobatic yet idealistic Kham, Jaa’s mission is to retrieve his family’s regal elephant and its baby, who have been stolen by gangsters with exotic tastes and smuggled from Thailand to Australia.

Kham has spent a lifetime with his father raising the animals, considered sacred Thai cultural symbols, and has come to view his job as a harkening to the ancient times when protecting royal elephants was a noble calling.

These days, though, the gig requires Kham to run through the alleyways and warehouses of Sydney — sometimes even sprinting sideways along chain-link fences and doing back flips off brick walls — as he seeks out the bad guys to the tune of The RZA’s ‘70s-inspired score.

Despite his superhero-like physical abilities, Kham lacks the Spidey sense to figure out for himself where his elephants are. He gets some help from a disgraced Thai police detective (Phettai Wongkhamlao) and a gorgeous young woman (Bongkod Kongmalai) who may or may not be a prostitute, but who happens to have incriminating evidence linking high-ranking public officials with the smuggling ring. (Transsexual Chinese dancer Jin Xing, vamping it up as the sinister, glamorous gang leader Madame Rose, bathes luxuriously, cracks a whip in a black catsuit and yells at underlings to get out of her sight.)

So maybe The Protector <$>has a plot after all. At least it vaguely tries to.

Regardless, you should see director Prachya Pinkaew’s movie for the complicated choreography — especially an impressive four-minute, continuous take in which Kham winds his way up the stairs of a four-storey den of debauchery, destroying everyone and everything in his path — not for the acting, dialogue or production value.

Jaa has two facial expressions and he runs in the open-palmed style Tom Cruise favoured in Mission: Impossible III.

While he lacks the personality of his idol, Jackie Chan, he is a muscular, athletic specimen to behold. We should all be happy that he’s chosen this as the outlet for his talents, and not something wussy like Cirque du Soleil.

The Protector, a Weinstein Co. release, is rated R for pervasive strong violence and some sexual content. Running time: 84 minutes. Two stars out of four.