A woman accused of attempting to murder her boyfriend by setting him on fire said she stayed with him because she loved him despite repeated incidents of sexual, mental and physical abuse.

Veronica Leslene Dill, 26, of Farmstead Lane, Somerset, is charged with attempted murder, causing grievous bodily harm with intent to burn, and arson.

Graham Robert Stancliffe suffered severe burns to his legs when Dill used gasoline to set fire to his bed on October 13, 1993.

"Emotionally I felt like I couldn't get away from him,'' Dill told the court yesterday. "If I left, he would just call or come to see me and I knew I would go back to him.'' Dill alleges that Stancliffe, 35, beat and kicked her, called her names, and sexually abused her.

Miss Charlene Scott, working with Mr. Peter DeJulio for the Crown, charged that Dill "wanted that kind of confusion or excitement.'' There were plenty of times when Dill could have left Stancliffe, she said. But Dill denied this.

Dill described Stancliffe as a man who drank constantly. "He drinks until he passes out. The fights happened when he was drunk. He drank every day and every night.'' Mr. Delroy Duncan, working with Mr. Juan Woolfe for the defence, asked Dill what had attracted her to Stancliffe. "He first came across as a real sweet guy,'' she said. "I thought since he said he loved me it must be something wrong with me.'' But Stancliffe, she explained, thought he was abusive because he came from an abusive home himself. He wanted to get help but felt he could not because too many people in Bermuda knew him, she said.

At the end of June, Dill finally moved back to her apartment in Somerset where her brother was then living. After a sleepless night she overdosed on pills and was rushed to hospital. When she was released Stancliffe agreed to see a counsellor if she moved back in with him, which she did.

Dill and Stancliffe saw the counsellor in August. Dill said Stancliffe had promised to marry her by the end of the year.

"Graham told the counsellor how much he loved me,'' said Dill. "I just couldn't believe it. I thought Graham was going to tell him about what he had done to me. The counsellor didn't see that he was lying. Outside afterwards, Graham started laughing and said these people can't figure anything out.'' Dill described the night which she set Stancliffe's bed on fire. "I went to the gas station with the bottle and asked the guy to fill it up. On the way home I remember thinking tomorrow I was going to say, see how far you have pushed me.'' When she arrived home, she put the bottle away, undressed, and walked into the living room in her underwear, she told the court. Stancliffe grabbed her and asked her if she wanted him to put his fist inside her vagina, as he had done once before, she said.

"I didn't do anything or say anything at that point,'' she said. "I just didn't care. Afterward I felt so dirty.'' As she showered, Stancliffe went into the bedroom and lay down. "I knew he wasn't asleep,'' Dill said."I went into the kitchen and got the gas and walked to the bedroom. I had the lighter which I used for cigarettes. I poured the gas all along my side of the bed in a L-shape. I didn't want to hurt him I just wanted to scare him.'' Dill said she fought the fireman who tried to take her from the house because she "just wanted to die.'' Miss Scott questioned why Dill used such a large bottle of gas if she just wanted to scare Stancliffe. Having told a friend that if her boyfriend did one more thing she would retaliate, "I put it to you that you were walking around in your underwear because you wanted to entice him to do something,'' Miss Scott said.

Dill denied this. The trial continues on Monday before Chief Justice the Hon.

Austin Ward.