UBP's Kim Young: Got stuck in HOWZAT, a week off! Yes, you heard right, Mr. Editor.

The 40 MPs on the Hill catch a break this Friday. It's Cup Match, thank goodness, and for a change all eyes will instead be on the slips and silly mid-ons and occasional googly at Somerset Cricket Club.

It's a welcome break following last Friday's lengthy session. If you hadn't heard, we sat until one o'clock in the morning on Saturday. Whew! What a day - and night.

But hey, what the heck. For the first time in a long time we actually had a major new piece of legislation to deal with. The Hotel Concessions Act was THE Order of the Day. It took us from just after lunch until midnight to wade our way through the Bill.

MAYBE you caught snippets of the debate on the radio? Or did you rely on The Royal Gazette ? Hope not, Mr. Editor. I think the long hours get to William's Royal troops too, who try to endure the tedium by adopting the WWF tag team approach to reporting by rotating in and out of the press box; a regular tap on the shoulder helps keep them awake too, I bet.

Trouble is something always seems to get lost on the way back to Par-la- Ville from Parliament Street.

Reading the reports in the Gazette on Saturday and Monday, I was reminded of the old newspaper gag (Easy, Mr. Ed. I mean gag as in joke, not as in muzzle): What exactly is it that editors and reporters do? They sort out the wheat from the chaff, of course ... and print the chaff.

Tourism Minister David Allen got fairly decent play, as he should have, leading the debate for the Government, but the rest of us lot were reduced to sentences that were but pithy paragraphs that reflected the fact that a reporter was (even) there.

I can only speak for myself here, but I couldn't help think whether the tag team listened to the same speeches I heard.

I thought we in the Opposition had a pretty good point: If the struggling tourism industry needs stimulation through any possible combination of tax breaks, what about those others who are struggling? Like the retail industry, nightclubs and restaurants -- not to mention those businesses and individuals who are now having to struggle with land tax increases which are just now starting to bite.

If the concessions catch on, who is going to pay for any shortfall in Government revenue that may result? Especially if Government continues to grow in size. Yep, you guessed it. The rest of us ... unless Government makes a commitment to cut back on Government.

I mean think about it. If the stimulation principle of tax breaks works, how about applying it across the board? Fat chance of that happening, I bet. The PLP Government may say it is reforming the civil service -- didn't we get two replacements when Cabinet Secretary Leo Mills retired? -- but it also increased borrowing this year and raised the legislated ceiling. These are chickens that have yet to come home to roost ...

But hey, am I getting too serious, Mr. Editor? These long sittings -- and short weeks -- don't do a lot for my sense of humour.

WE started off fresh on Friday with the Human Rights Amendment Act. Shadow Minister Kim Young got stuck in when she wondered why Government wasn't prepared to amend the Act to prohibit discrimination on the grounds of gender as opposed to "sex''.

There were more than a few guffaws when MP Young noted there was too much "sex'' in the Act. But Minister Terry Lister was haven't any of that. He said he stood behind the advice of the Attorney General's Chambers that "sex'' was the correct word. No kidding. A sub-editor's dream headline went abegging: "Minister prefers sex (over gender)!'' All this talk of sex was probably a distraction for the one reporter who was there and who incorrectly reported that the Opposition proposed an amendment to outlaw discrimination on the grounds of sexual orientation.

Not so, actually. The amendment we sought to make was to include discrimination on the basis of age. The Minister was, however, asked the position of Government on discrimination by sexual orientation, particularly in view of what the UK Government had to say on human rights in the White Paper and bringing the Overseas Territories into line with the European Convention. No, Mr. Editor, I do not recall a reply on the issue.

But hey, we all make mistakes. I made a minor clanger myself when I put my foot in my tired mouth some time after midnight. The Premier had just introduced the the PLP-backed report calling for changes in our parliamentary dress code.

She heralded the change and reminded everyone that (1) clothes do not make the man and (2) beware of wolves in sheep's clothing. I told her by way of reply that I had no intention of going without clothes and that I didn't fancy sheep's clothing.

OOPS. As an alert wit on the other side pointed out that made me an admitted wolf. In my defence, I guess it was the late hour that brought out the big bad wolf in me. But I dare say I'm not the only one who huffs and puffs and tries to blow the House down.

Did I say an alert wit? There weren't many wits about at that hour. In fact, there weren't many members there at that hour, period. I counted at least ten members who were absent for most if not all of the day. This happens.

I suspect some of them booked their trips some time ago when they thought we might be down by now for the summer. A reasonable assumption, you say? Say what? Fat chance. By the look of things, we have at least two more sittings to go after Cup Match and some weighty legislation to plough through. Coming attractions for the show on the Hill include: The first Hotel Concessions Order to come under the new Act -- and all eyes will be peeled to see the basket of tax break goodies the Government offers and on what terms.

The Segregated Companies Act -- a far-reaching piece of corporate legislation designed to put Bermuda ahead on the world map.

The Customs Tariff Amendment (No. 2) Act -- a 540-page Bill that has to be at least an inch thick, each copy of which probably used to be a tree.

And who knows what else may come when we return on the 11th.

Until then, we'll take the off break and for my part I will gladly join that much larger assembly that will meet in the West.

Stumped? No way. Have a good Cup Match everyone. Overs and out, Mr. Editor.