Some find this open approach to sexuality controversial while others find it helpful. Certainly, this new-found openness about sex has created challenges for most parents trying to rear children correctly.

The discussion of sexual matters is no longer restricted to the family planning clinic or the gynaecologist's office. Parents have to assume the responsibility themselves for promoting healthy attitudes towards sex in their families.

There are a number of ways parents can accomplish this: 1: Foster open communication about sexuality within the family. This enables parents and children to freely discuss their concerns.

2: Be positive role models. Actual role plays of different situations can "try-out'' children's responses and reactions.

3: Set limits with children within a workable framework. For instance, discuss family rules and social boundaries for sexual expression on topics which include menstruation, masturbation and dating. Keep it appropriate to the age of the children.

4: Provide guidance and information on what children can expect as they experience changes in their own bodies. By discussing the changes when they occur, parents can assist the child to cope more realistically with their development and their feelings associated with it.

5: Validate normalcy. Children may be concerned about their thoughts, fantasies, dreams and feelings. Parents can help put them at ease by explaining that thoughts and feelings about sex are a normal part of their development. Encourage them to shape healthy attitudes towards sex. Help them exchange negative labels such as "dirty'', "perverted'', or "abnormal'' for labels such as "healthy'' and "okay''.

One question which may arise is whether or not it is "normal'' not to be sexually active. Peer pressure in this area is very real and adolescents to not like to be "different'' from their peers. Teach them how to say "No''.

In the way they dress: wearing clothes that advertise self, not sexiness. In the way they talk: keeping conversations `cool' and away from discussion of sex. In what they do on dates: planning fun things so that they do not end up parking, petting, passionate and pregnant.

6: Educate children about sexuality. This implies more than merely handing them pamphlets, books and other printed material. It implies helping them explore their attitudes and values as they shape their sexual behaviour and communicate comfortably about sexuality.

Three simple assertive techniques which they can use: 1: Say no and keep repeating it. Don't offer reasons or excuses for saying "No.'' 2: Take the offensive. State how the person's continued pressuring is making them feel.

3: Refuse to discuss the matter further. Walk away from the situation.

Teaching young people to respond assertively helps them to postpone sexual involvement.

Research has shown that when adolescents openly discuss attitudes and values about sexual intercourse, caring relationships, love and sex and the emotional and physical consequences of sexual intercourse, they are more likely to make sound decisions about sexual activity rather than allow themselves to be carried away by passion.