The Bible lobby would probably deem it the ultimate blasphemy but for one Bermudian the sinner?s paradise Las Vegas is the nearest thing to heaven on earth.

Feeling depressed ten years ago party girl Shawna (not her real name) was advised to go to the gamblers? nirvana.

It lifted her so much it?s become an annual pleasure pilgrimage, something to make the grind of her three jobs tolerable.

Now the 43-year-old mother of one spreads the word about Vegas like the most ardent missionary plugging the promised land and advising all her friends and family to go.

?I have convinced my 68-year-old mother to come. Originally she didn?t want to go because she?s a Christian but my Christian sister came and told her it was wonderful and now my mother wants to go.

?We are all sinners.?

Nothing is likely to come close to emulating the 24-hour glamour and glitz of Vegas but Shawna believes she should be able to gamble in her home land.

To deny her, and countless others, who believe they can control their gambling is not only patronising but also self defeating she argues.

?If you say we can?t gamble here we are going to go to Las Vegas or Atlantic City. How people use and lose their money is their choice.

?You are saying you don?t want Bermudian dollars? Why would you exempt locals? You can play the stock market and lose your house. It underestimates Bermudians.

?Bermudians work so hard, why take this away? They have already taken away so much from us.

?We act like life is a sentence in Bermuda but that is not what it is supposed to be about.

?We have a morbid sense of reality. There is nothing to do here. Going to somewhere like Vegas gives me renewed hope.

?It is not all about gambling but it?s definitely an added feature.?

It helped that she won with her second quarter on her first trip, picking up $75 in a machine in her hotel lobby as she checked in.

She went with one bag and came back with three crammed with stuff she had won.

Now she budgets a $100 a day to spend in her favourite kitsch-themed slot machines such as the Elvis game and Wheel of Fortune, which talk to her as she plays. ?I can be down there playing for five hours, I like the noises and it?s fun.?

Over the past decade there have been big wins ? a couple of grand at a time ? but Shawna tries to pocket some of it in a separate pouch to bring back and never sets out on vacation with bills still unpaid. Losses she puts down to entertainment.

But the darker side is ever present. One friend quickly blew his money, borrowed from her, won big and then lost it all. And strangers sometimes approach in the gaming halls, hoping to appeal to her pity.

?One guy tried to sell me his watch so he could try and win money to buy it back again.

?It?s the excitement. There is nothing like Las Vegas. You have to go there. It is difficult to have the self discipline. It?s all very alluring. Some get so excited they don?t even worry about having enough money to get back to the airport.?

Shawna admits to getting carried away herself. ?Sometimes I gamble $300 if I am feeling lucky.?

But then she will cut back on the games the following day and stick to the $2,000 budget for food, gambling and entertainment during her one-week trips. ?I work three jobs, I work at the hospital and clean houses and save money to have a good time.

?The moment I stepped off the plane that first time I loved the place.

?It was clean, huge and exciting. It?s totally different to Bermuda, Bermuda doesn?t have anything fun. It?s like being a kid again.?

?Even the library was exciting. I took my daughter, there were things to feel and touch. You wanted to be a fireman, there was a fireman?s suit. An astronaut? The same thing.?

With free drinks for gamblers, cheap all-you-can eat buffets and freebies handed out in the street Vegas is in stark contrast to home where cash is haemorrhaged at every turn.

?Bermuda doesn?t give one freebie, if Bermuda wants to mimic America, which it always does, do it the right way.?

Shawna also likes the cosmopolitan nature of Vegas where high rolling multi-millionaires rub shoulders with penny-slot playing punters.

?There?s no discrimination, there are people in wheelchairs and with tracheotomy pipes coming out of their necks. There are people from all walks of life. There are older people working out there, cocktail waitresses, having a good time. There is much more to do than sitting at home worrying about your pension.?

?You never see a clock out there.?

?If I hadn?t have come across Vegas I don?t know what I would be doing. I just love it.?

Has gambling ruined your life? Call Matthew Taylor in confidence on 278 0152.