NEW YORK — As a TV critic with national exposure, I’m constantly swamped with hundreds of e-mails from my reading public.Which is to say, I get a scattering now and then.

Except, of course, when no one writes at all.

Then what clogs my inbox are announcements from the networks and online newsletters I don’t remember subscribing to. But that’s OK. Even when readers can’t find the time to drop me a line, I’m pretty sure what they’re thinking.

Some of them, at least. Consider this sample of e-mail I imagine myself getting (and wouldn’t be surprised if I did):

[bul] Dear Mr. Moore: Thank you for all the GREAT articles!!! You are THE BEST!!! Still, I need to mention something that’s bothering me. Why do all you TV writers make such a fuss about Katie Couric’s droopy little ratings?

Why must you keep embarrassing her? It wouldn’t be so hard to fix the “Evening News.” Maybe she could add a cooking segment, or interview tourists on the sidewalk. I used to watch her do it every morning. Katie’s not going to get fired, is she? I understand CBS is making Drew Carey the host of “The Price is Right.” Why didn’t they give Katie that job?

[bul] Mr. Moore, I was happy to read how that wonderful actor Isaiah Washington will star in a new series on NBC! It was so sad when he had to leave “Grey’s Anatomy” for what he said about the guy on the show who’s gay.

I think it’s nice Mr. Washington has been handed a second chance. And in that same spirit of forgiveness, I would like to suggest that NBC help someone else who needs a break: As Mr. Washington’s zany best friend, NBC could cast Michael Richards!

[bul] Even on my new widescreen colour TV, what I’m seeing more and more is Green!!! Green this, Green that, direct from the liberal media. Every time I turn around, it’s more hoo-hah about “Global Warming” and “carbon footprints.”

All I know is, my mother tanned my hide when I tracked a carbon footprint on the living room rug. And now I see the announcement that NBC Universal is cooking up something called “Green is Universal” to air on all its networks in November! This is a conspiracy, if you ask me. What matters isn’t Green, but Red White and Blue! Thank goodness Fox News Channel won’t ever be off-color.

[bul] Listen, Frazier, what’s with those Emmys? Can you believe this year’s nominations! Where was that really good Showtime drama “Brotherhood” and the members of its cast? Where was NBC’s “Friday Night Lights”? Sure, Denis Leary got a nomination for FX’s “Rescue Me,” but how come no nomination for the show? And that’s just for starters. I keep reading how the FCC wants to curb TV violence. So why should these TV awards get away with doing violence to common sense?

[bul] Dear Sir: I’m very comfortable on camera. I’ve been married several times. I forget little things, like people’s names and who I’m talking to and where I parked my car. I haven’t read a newspaper in years. I make it a point to learn nothing until someone tells me face to face.

I’m a natural in suspenders. A resume like mine, don’t you think I’m a cinch to fill Larry King’s shoes when he decides to retire? My sample tape’s in the mail. Thanks in advance for passing it along to CNN.

[bul] Mr. So-Called TV Critic, I keep reading your stuff and all I get is your OPINIONS — which, as anyone can see, are mostly WRONG. What kind of journalism do you call THIS? It’s time you tried some OBJECTIVE reporting. Ever heard of it? Or did you SLEEP through that class in journalism school?

[bul] Just a note to congratulate you for telling it like it is! Sometimes I think you’re actually reading my mind. Thanks for keeping the truth alive!

[bul] Hey, Frazier! You may not be a betting man, but here’s your chance for a big score: Predict how soon, and on what talk show, Ann Coulter will spontaneously blow up. For years, she’s been defying the scientific law that says an unstable object can’t remain intact indefinitely. OK, maybe that isn’t exactly a law — not yet. But Ann Coulter is way overdue to go BOOM. Come closest to guessing the time and place, and you win big. You want in? Let me know.

[bul] Your byline just caught my eye. Are you the same Frazier Moore I was in grade school with? The kid who joined the A-V Club and everybody laughed at? I wondered what became of you, once or twice. Way to go! You fooled everybody! (Sorry if I’ve got the wrong person, btw.)