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Mixed emotions

Apologies to all my new-found friends, but my time in the 100 Day Challenge maybe coming to an end. Remember, this is a competition and someone has to go.

I thought I only had to lose 20 to 30lbs, and that it would be so easy or at least straight-forward but that was not the case at all.

As the weeks went by I thought that what I was doing was right with my eating because I was so miserable.

After being weighed (unofficially) it was clear that my weight loss overall was slow.

Instead of losing 15 to 20lbs like some of the other participants, I had only lost seven pounds by comparison.

I talked to my trainers and found out I still wasn't up to par with my eating.

Now I have been pushed to the next level (of starvation) with yet another new diet. I thought I was miserable before. Now I became (I thought) totally dysfunctional.

I was snappy one minute, then crying the next. I was a mess. With great relief I can finally say that after all that, I have started to shed the extra pounds. I just hope my renewed effort is enough.

After all of the hard work and exercise, controlled eating or the lack of eating (including eating none of my favourite but banned foods), we now have to face the dreaded elimination round.

As I am running on the treadmill I look at each of my fellow challengers and wonder who will not be here with us next week.

I have mixed emotions because we have such a great group, but one of us has to go and all the time I hope it won't be me.

Although this is a tough challenge, and very competitive between participants, it mostly seems that I am part of a group of friends who get together to encourage each other into a better way of living.

I wonder if the others feel like I do? As our trainer explains, it is a challenge and we must start thinking that way.

It's not about just coming and doing what is asked of us; it is about pushing yourself beyond your limits and sticking to the diet in order to be better than the rest.

One of my co-participants used a mind game on me by saying: “After all this time you should have lost some weight.” At first it seemed a little funny to me because I could have said the same thing to them, but then it hit me.

They were just trying to get in my head. I knew the truth which was that however it may seem, I knew I was making progress with my weight loss because of my clothes fit differently.

I can now take off my favourite dress pants without even unbuttoning or unzipping them. I have definitely lost some weight in the top area as well, reducing my bra size. I am so glad that I have finally started to lose the weight.

I had a very slow start but I hope at this point I have lost enough to continue in the programme.

If you don't see me in The Royal Gazette next week, you'll know I've been given the axe.

Like I said to my trainers, it's all good. I have learned a lot and regardless if I am dropped from the show, I will continue in this quest to gain new health and fitness until I have brought SEXY back completely.

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Published March 08, 2011 at 9:00 am (Updated March 07, 2011 at 3:27 pm)

Mixed emotions

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