You've been invited to dinner. Lovely. Now, what are you bringing?

Wine is usually the obvious choice, but that opens up a whole new set of questions. Red or white? Something familiar or a bottle nobody has tried before? How much should you spend? And perhaps most importantly, if you've gone to the trouble of choosing a lovely bottle, is the host actually supposed to open it?

Apparently, there are a few rules worth knowing. According to Mikaela Denbrook, marketing manager at Gosling's Ltd, the first thing to consider is the occasion itself.

“I start with the time of year and the type of event, whether it has a theme or is more casual. A dinner party in the middle of July is quite different from a fall gathering in November, so that would be the foundation of my decision-making.

“If I’m unfamiliar with what the host prefers, it never hurts to ask. The most thoughtful bottle is one they will actually enjoy.”

If there is no particular preference, Ms Denbrook suggests choosing something with broad appeal.

“If there isn’t a strong preference, I would lean into a varietal that I know most audiences would enjoy like a Pinot Noir, or even something new I have tried that I was pleasantly surprised by, in the hope that others might discover a new favourite as well.”

And there is no need to spend a fortune.

“There really is no magic number, but certainly no reason to break the bank when bringing something as a guest. Typically, I would lead with spending roughly what I would comfortably spend on a bottle for myself. The goal is to be thoughtful, not extravagant.”

Play it safe or surprise them?

For those who would rather not gamble on something too unusual, Ms Denbrook recommends a few reliable choices.

“If wine is your preference, a sparkling wine, either a Brut Champagne or a lovely Cava, Californian or French Pinot Noir or Cabernet Sauvignon will go over well at most dinners.”

But she also has another suggestion for anyone wanting to arrive with something a little different.

“However, for something a little more unconventional, I would arrive with a pre-batched cocktail. It takes a bit more effort but gives the host one less thing to think about. The Dirty Martini is a for ever classic, so why not lean in?”

Her version combines Ketel One vodka or The Botanist gin with olive brine and water for dilution. For a softer, slightly sweeter finish, she suggests swapping dry vermouth for fino sherry.

Prepare it in a glass bottle or jar, keep it in the freezer and transport it in a cooler bag.

“When cocktail hour arrives, grab the glasses, give it a good shake and pour. Your host will appreciate the effort and you can gloat about your cocktail skills! Bonus points for bringing blue cheese stuffed olives.”

But do they have to open it?

Now for the question that has probably crossed the mind of every dinner guest who has ever arrived carrying a bottle of wine.

You've handed it over. The host thanks you. And then promptly puts it away.

Is that allowed? Absolutely, according to Ms Denbrook.

“As a guest, the gracious thing is to hand over your bottle without expectation. The host does not have to open it. If they open it that evening, great. If they save it for another occasion, also great.”

And while asking isn't necessarily rude, she suggests leaving the decision entirely to the host, by asking: “Would you like to open this tonight, or shall I leave it for another occasion?”

The same principle applies if the host chooses to serve something you don't particularly enjoy.

“Always remember your bottle is a gift, not a request. If what is being served is not your preference, this is where true etiquette comes in. Take a polite pour and make the best of it. Do not perform.”

If you really don't like it, she recommends quietly switching to water or another non-alcoholic option and enjoying the company instead.

Don’t give your host homework

Of course, wine etiquette isn't only about what you bring. It's also about how you behave once you arrive. Ms Denbrook has a few particular pet peeves.

“Common guest mistakes are coming empty-handed, expecting your bottle will be opened, correcting the host’s wine choices and bringing anything that requires extra work, like decanting, a particular glass or special preparation.

“At that point, you have officially given the host homework, not a gift.”

Hosts, meanwhile, have their own responsibilities.

“Mistakes as a host include opening every single bottle, insisting guests finish their glasses and completely forgetting the non-drinkers.

“Always have something genuinely good for guests opting out of alcohol, and always lean into the bottle options that either complement the menu or can be enjoyed by a broader audience.”

If you're the one hosting, Ms Denbrook recommends having a couple of options available, although there is no obligation to offer every variety of wine.

“It is considerate to have at least two different options, whether it is a white and a red or even rosé or sparkling.”

As for quantities, she suggests planning around the length of the evening and how many courses you're serving.

“Two to three glasses per guest is a good baseline for a dinner party and a standard 750ml bottle contains five standard glasses of wine.”

Ultimately, whether you're bringing a bottle or serving one, the aim is to make the evening enjoyable rather than complicated.