A Hamilton Parish man took a light-hearted approach to Magistrates? Court yesterday despite facing several charges.

Fredjuan Winston Eugene Hughes, 26, of Cottage Hill Road, brought everyone present to laughter including Crown counsel Shade Subair, Acting Senior Magistrate Carlisle Greaves, and a slew of Police officers, as he answered charges of stealing, driving without due care, using false identification and offensive language.

Hughes did not seem as concerned with entering pleas to the charges as he did with making wisecracks.

When Mr. Greaves read the charge of stealing a television Hughes said: ?What? I didn?t steal a TV. But I do have a history of stealing bikes though, and a few other small things.?

?Look at my arms,? he added, flexing his bicep. ?I couldn?t lift that TV. That thing was huge.?

To the charge of driving without due care, he replied: ?How?s that due care? I struck myself and broke my femur bone. I didn?t even know I had a femur bone.?

Mr. Greaves told the Court that when Hughes arrived at the hospital after his single vehicle bike accident, he used foul language to the nurse.

After Mr. Greaves described the language, Hughes said: ?Ew, that is nasty.? When accused of using a false name, Hughes said: ?Not guilty, but I tried once in the States and it did not work.?

While Mr. Greaves was deciding his fate, Hughes said: ?I don?t care. I?ve been taking it up the pipe for a long time. Just give it all to me.?

Mr. Greaves fined Hughes $250 for the use of offensive words and $250 for driving without due care. A trial date for the stealing and false identification charges was set for May 25.

?Please come to court prepared with all your evidence because I want a speedy trial,? Hughes quipped in parting.

A Warwick man who threatened to karate chop a female cousin, who had taken out a restraining order against him, was fined $500 in Magistrates Court last week.

Uel Alban Fleming, 38, of Smith?s Avenue, admitted using the words towards the woman on Smith?s Avenue.

Crown counsel Wayne Caines said the defendant?s cousin was walking along the road when Fleming ?started moving his body in a karate-like motion?. She attempted to walk past Fleming but he said: ?I?m going to chop you up.?

Fleming told Acting Senior Magistrate Carlisle Greaves that he said the words, but not to the woman.

Mr. Greaves told him: ?If a woman is gone she is gone. She has got to have the same right as we men have ? the right to choice. You come back interfering this woman again and I?ll lock you up.?

A 43-year-old man will be sent to Supreme Court to face charges of drug importation and possession.

Michael Troy Berkeley, of no fixed abode, was charged with importing 155.57 grams of heroin and possession of 13.01 grams of marijuana in Magistrates? Court yesterday. Acting Senior Magistrate Carlisle Greaves remanded Berkeley into custody.