Twenty-one year old ?Sonia? has been in and out of foster homes for more than half her life.

Though she didn?t know it at the time, Sonia was first placed into foster care when she was nine or ten.

Her mother had been in an accident, so Sonia and her younger sister moved to the home of a woman they were told was their ?aunt?.

?That?s what my mother said she was,? Sonia explained. ?I thought she was a relative. I didn?t know it was foster care.?

Though her sister stayed with the ?aunt?, Sonia soon moved back home with her mother and three brothers. Then, around the age of 11, her physical safety was compromised when a ?friend? of the family sexually abused her, and she was swiftly placed into foster care once more.

Sonia stayed with the second foster family, a mother and a daughter who were devoutly religious, while the court trial into the sexual harassment dragged on. When she finally did move home, around a year later, the sexual abuse had stopped but things were going downhill elsewhere.

?My parents had divorced, I was staying with my mother. I think there wasn?t really anyone around to look after us. My mum was really struggling at the time. I was the oldest girl, so I was doing all the cooking and so on. Times were really hard, we were being neglected a bit.?

Child and Family Services stepped in to place Sonia back with the mother and daughter for another year or so. When Sonia?s mother remarried, she petitioned to get her daughter back, and Sonia returned home again.

It was around the age of 13 that Sonia?s father died. ?I was more close to him than anything, and when he passed away I almost felt I wasn?t really coming home to anything.?

Some time after, the home she was living in with her mother and stepfather was broken into. ?I think I was really scared.

?So I made the decision on my own. That morning I just left. I didn?t catch the bus or anything, I just left the house and walked to the mother and daughter?s house. From there I called my social worker.

?I think I was probably there until a placement could be found. I was 14.

?I moved in with my aunt, she was planning on adopting me. It didn?t go through though, because my mother wanted me back.

?Then my grandmother took me in after that. But she was getting ready to retire, and it was difficult to manage financially. I was still in high school.?

So Sonia was moved back in to the first foster home, with the woman her mother had said was her aunt. There she was reunited with her sister. ?I was there for almost three years, ?til the first year of Bermuda College.

?But by then I was 18 and coming out of the system.? Government does not provide funding for foster children over the age of 18. ?We were in financial difficulty again.?

Though Sonia worked, went to school, and tried to apply for Financial Assistance as an adult, it was not enough. By that point religion was playing an enormous part in her life, and her ?aunt? felt she was spending a lot of time at church and youth groups ? yet she was still a financial drain.

It was beginning to look as though Sonia was on her own. Her church formed a prayer chain ? and a family volunteered to take her in, under no formal arrangement, as a mature adult.

Sonia had been friends with the two daughters of the family while in high school. ?It was weird,? she said. ?But exciting.?

Now, at 21, Sonia is still living with that family, and will be graduating from the Bermuda College after studying Information Systems Networking. By September she will be heading to the New England Institute of Technology on a scholarship to further her studies in networking.

Religion has always been the saving grace in Sonia?s life. While living with the second foster family, the mother and daughter, the mother spent much time teaching Sonia about the Bible. ?She witnessed to me, telling me about God?s love and Jesus.?

Now Sonia is part of her church youth group and Discipleship in Action ? groups which allow her to channel her traumatic past into something positive.

?Some of the experiences I?ve had really have allowed me to share, relate,? she said. ?Even to some of the foster kids coming to youth group. And I know they appreciate having someone going through what they?re going through. It makes me feel pretty good.

?You really need to surround yourselves with positive things, especially positive young people ...It?s ok to be mad at what happened to you. But it?s mainly the choices you make after. It?s what you?re going to do with it.

?It shouldn?t be seen as a handicap ...but something to make you stronger. It?s either a pass or a fail and you don?t want to fail. There?s only one way to go, and that?s up.

?With my mother, we?re slowly trying to rebuild our relationship, we really are. The worst thing I could do would be to tell her: ?I don?t want you in my life?.?

Foster parents should treat foster kids ?like new-borns, she said. ?Treat them like your own kids, not someone you?ve brought in off the street. You need to feel lucky, not threatened ... You shouldn?t be putting a whole new fear in their heart.?

Was she glad she was placed in foster care? ?Wow. I think about that now, I really do. I think I?m glad to have been in foster homes.

?I think it all happened for a reason. I think that I surrounded myself with positive things. As a foster kid, you need some type of balance (between the positive and the negative in your life). Getting involved is also part of distracting yourself.?

There is a thin line between distraction and denial, however. ?I was not allowing myself to heal, to face the situation. I used to think, I could?ve died, why not kill me?

?You can?t try to make the positive erase it. You have to deal with it, you really do.?