Waiting for your name to be called for a traffic offence sounds like the most tedious way one can spend an afternoon.

Some, of course, might argue that waiting for your number at the Transport Control Department ranks a close second.

But Acting Senior Magistrate Carlisle Greaves makes everything relatively painless - the waiting part, at least.

More than 400 people appear every week for Traffic Court, which takes place on Tuesdays and Wednesdays.

That is up to 200 people for Mr. Greaves to process each day - a daunting prospect.

However, he promised his audience at last Tuesday's Traffic Court session - which began at 2.30 p.m. - that he planned to get rid of them all by 3 p.m.

"We are going to move very rapidly, speeding faster than the fastest ticket in here," he said.

Firing off a brisk welcome speech, he told the courtroom that fines range between $50 and $1,000, although they average from $50 to $500.

If fines were not paid the offenders would be sent to prison.

"If you were speeding at more than 70 kph, I am going to disqualify you from that class of vehicle for 12 months, less than that and you will not be disqualified," he said - a practice followed by all magistrates, despite the fact that the law says anyone found speeding in excess of 63 kph can be disqualified.

Rapidly explaining that it was people's right to plead guilty and to offer an explanation, Mr. Greaves told the waiting courtroom: "Some people say the explanations help, some people say they don't make a difference. I don't know which is true, I stick with the first one.

"Good," he finished. "Let's drive."

Rolling with factory-line efficiency through the docket, Mr. Greaves showed himself to be truly a master of Traffic Court economics. Most exchanges moved with the regularity of an algebraic formula:

Mr. Greaves: "Joe Bermudian, 57k on Knapton Hill."

Joe Bermudian: "Guilty."

Mr. Greaves: "$210. Pay today?"Joe Bermudian: "No sir, could I have time to pay?"Mr. Greaves: "Friday or 40 days. Next Joe Bermudian, 63 k on Middle Road ..." and so on.

It was almost dizzying to watch.

However occasionally through the blur of conveyor belt guilty pleas that old favourite "guilty with an explanation" would crop up.

"I was working around the clock, I was coming home and I fell asleep at the wheel," one man explained when he was charged with driving without due care. Mr. Greaves fined him $250. Another man, a taxi driver, pleaded not guilty to the charge of speeding at 61k.

Indicating a man standing next to him, he said: "It's hard to believe I was doing 61 when I was following a rental ridden by this gentleman here."

Rental bikes, he maintained, are not capable of travelling at 61 k.

"Are you sure?" asked Mr. Greaves. The taxi driver turned to the courtroom at large. "Can I get an Amen on that?" he polled the crowd.

Despite the crowd's resounding agreement, Mr. Greaves was not satisfied.

"All I'm saying is that these things can happen," he said.

Then the taxi driver found out if found guilty at trial, he would be fined $600, whereas if he pleaded guilty right away, he would only be fined between $230 and $300.

"My key witness won't be here on that (trial) date," he said.

"That's your loss," replied Mr. Greaves.

Finally the driver changed his plea to guilty, grumbling somewhat about being forced into it despite Mr. Greaves' request that he be sure.

"$230, pay today?" asked Mr. Greaves.

The taxi driver looked at the tourist next to him, who nodded.

"Yes," the driver replied, and Mr. Greaves moved swiftly on.

One woman told Mr. Greaves she had no choice but to drive her car even though the vehicle was not licensed because her 12-year old daughter had to be picked up from school.

"Her father was supposed to pick her up but he didn't," she said.

"Seems as though you should've called a friend, ma'am," said Mr. Greaves.

When she protested none were available, he advised her to call a taxi.

"She's only 11," the woman said.

"She's 12, she could've caught the bus," said Mr. Greaves.

The woman was fined $750 for the unlicensed car and a further $1,000 for having no insurance.

Some sobering reminders of the dangers of driving in Bermuda were present in the courtroom. One man had his leg in a cage-like brace.

The skin over his calf and bare foot looked as though it had been filed away by the road.

He pleaded not guilty to driving without due care on Front Street.

Another man appeared with what looked like a broken arm and a bandage over his leg. He was also charged with driving without due care. He pleaded guilty and was fined $250.

Most of those booked for speeding hovered in the range of 57kph and 62 kph, though several ranged up into the 90s - almost three times the speed limit.

The speediest culprit of all was a man booked for 97kph on Middle Road.

"I can't see how from the time I overtook to the time I stopped I was going 97 kph," he told Mr. Greaves.

"Guilty or not guilty?" replied the impenetrable Greaves. The man pleaded guilty.

"$500," countered Mr. Greaves as Traffic Court ended.

"You're lucky, I'm revising all these fines now."

And so that was that.

The time? 3.20 p.m. - some 20 minutes later than predicted.

But, all things considered, that was pretty good going, Mr. Greaves.