If there was a catchprase for yesterday's Non-Mariners Race it must have been "Whither the Fates Lead Us".

The Cuba or Bus made it halfway around the course, the Non-Platform capsized and half-sank while the Three Judge Jury didn't even cross the starting line.

What had earlier on almost seemed like a serious event with psyched-up competitors quickly degenerated into waterlogged chaos. But then again that's always the objective for participants in the event, which was held at the Sandys Boat Club to round off the Cup Match festivities.

"There is no race, there is nothing much going on really except a big water fight," said race announcer Bruce Barritt. "It's not easy to comment on mayhem."

Now in its 31st year, the "race" is a surreal fusion of political satire and beer-fuelled debauchery. Nine bedraggled groups and their barely floating contraptions faced each other down to see who could come off as the most outrageous. It was a tough decision for the judges when the chips were down.

Yet, in the end by far the most incompetent group had to be the crew of seven who manned the Leaking Report, a top heavy, strangely deformed pile of wood that made fun of the recent scandal in the BHC - the "Back Hander Corporation?" that is.

She was not-captained by a certain Paul Maccoy. "We were upside down before we hit the start line," he said. "There were definitely some design flaws in their somewhere. I was so bad that, in a statesmanlike gesture I stepped down as non-captain and was replaced by a compromise non-candidate."

Almost as awful were the Three Judge Jury, a trio of dreadlocked adjudicators who sat on their bench and passed around a giant "spliff" while forcing unfortunates to walk the plank.

Crewman Terry Madeiros said the non-float was making fun of a United Bermuda Party election promise to reconsider the jury system for drugs trials.

Also enjoying the revelry were the crew of last minute entry Cuba or Bus, who paddled a floating mattress while throwing bananas at opponents

Non-captain Christine Scarborough said the entry was a statement against Cuba's unsavoury human rights record. Another point of reference was Government's recent decision to sell buses to the Caribbean nation.

"This is so much fun!" said crewmember Magdelena North, who was visiting from England. "No one knows when it starts or ends. It's bloody madness!"

An inverted bamboo frame held aloft by trash bags full of "hot air" was what passed for the entry Upside Down and Backwards, Like Our Government. Captain Jeff Steynor, 20, said the idea was to partially commemorate "the last political post the Colonel (David Burch) was to have, as captain of a sinking ship".

"It's all in fun though because no one in Bermuda takes politics seriously," he said. "People don't generally know what is going on anyway. There is no transparency."

Close behind, relentless opponents succeeded in capsizing the Non-Platform, an impressive float built by Church Bay snorkel entrepreneurs Boyd Vallis and Peter Kyle.

"It was brutal out there. I tried to distract the girls who were trying to pull us over by undoing their bikini tops but I guess it didn't work," said a bruised Mr. Vallis as he nursed his wounds.

Meanwhile, the crew of the White's Island Barbeque had tried in vain to stabilise their precariously constructed craft, consisting of three enmeshed sailing boats that were partially burned in the recent fire on White's Island.

Money raised for the event will be donated to the Packwood Home.