Bermuda's sex addicts are banding together to form a self-help group to combat their problems.

However experts say sufferers never really cure their condition but remain vulnerable for life.

Psychologist Vaughan Mosher, managing director of Benedict Associates, welcomed news of the self-help group.

He said: “We have clients who suffer from not being able to or understand it or talk about it with their friends. It makes for a sort of isolation and loneliness unless they speak out.”

With sex being one of the most natural human functions it can difficult for addicts to realise their version has gone beyond healthy behaviour.

Mr. Mosher compared it to people who abuse prescription drugs but feel guilt-free because their narcotic is not illegal.

In most cases clients come for help after a crisis unearths their hidden secret.

“More often a person won't come in until its defined as an ‘or else' situation.

“For many it's like a secret life and for some that's part of the excitement or arousal. It's another life. Often a crisis occurs when that secret is found out by a significant other, such as when a spouse finds out about the porn.”

Sometimes partners tolerate the behaviour and end up condoning it, says Mr. Mosher and sometimes society has condoned it.

But everyone has their breaking point.

“Sometimes the spouse says they have had enough.”

The calls also flood in whenever the problem has been featured on Oprah whose resident TV doctor Dr. Phil was making a big impact, says Mr. Mosher.

“That has been the catalyst for many to delve more deeply into it. There's a lot of good addiction work going on right now.

Mr. Mosher treats between 25 to 40 cases of the milder cases of sexual addiction every year while every year two or three significant cases requiring overseas treatment come to his door.

Some islanders have been treated by Dr. Patrick Carnes whose pioneering work on the subject has led to him being invited to address Bermuda's multi-addiction conference in November.

Mr. Mosher stressed he only treated staff and family of client companies and said the number of sufferers across the Island is much larger.

One of the causes of sexual addiction is an inner emptiness, says Mr. Mosher.

“There was never a completeness to begin with. There was always an emptiness and a searching. The individuals who say about life: Is that all there is?”

This often stems from an unhappy early home life, perhaps with the sufferer growing up in a single parent family.

Once assessed appropriately, sex addiction can become more manageable.

The milder forms is treated in weekly counselling sessions, often with the partner involved.

Addicts learn to be honest and discuss their urges with their partners. “It's talking about it rather than doing it.”

The sufferer learns to spot the trigger moods, just like alcoholics, which are being hungry, angry, lonely and tired (known as the HALT symptoms) which can make a person vulnerable, particularly in combination.

And like other addicts, sex addicts are never completely cured - they remain susceptible for life.

Milder forms can be curbed within months locally while severe cases can require overseas inpatient treatment.

“Where the obsession is so all-consuming, staying in the environment is unlikely to change it. The good programmes have an element on rebuilding the relationship if there is still something left to reclaim.

“Right now there are a couple of individuals hoping for a self help group for recovering sexual addicts. We have 22 to 23 Alcoholic Anonymous weekly meetings and drug meetings but this has been a real difficult one to get started.

“There's really nothing more personal than one's sexuality, is there? To be in a self-help group in a small community is especially difficult. In a metropolitan area you can be anonymous but it's a whole lot tougher here.

“But some of the forefathers of AA here had the same difficulty.”

In the interim, individuals will be paired up to offer each other support.

For Dr. Wells Hively, sex addiction, like other addictions, are part of the human condition but fuelled by opportunity.

If there is nothing to stop it, the addiction will grow until a lack of cash or the reactions of other people intervene.

Societies where porn was freely available would encourage more addicts than where it was tricky to obtain or socially embarrassing, believes Dr. Hively.

For him the real solution is constant monitoring by those close to the addict.

As Mr. Mosher puts it: “When there's a different expectation person by person, relationship by relationship, then behaviour changes.”