Helen was just 14 and a virgin when she was raped by her cousin, the culmination of years of sexual abuse starting when she was just five.

Six years later Helen (not her real name) has survived four suicide attempts, four breakdowns and family ostracism. This week she faces homelessness.

Meanwhile her cousin enjoys a career and a happy home life after wrecking hers.

Cries of help to her mother and sister were brushed off. Worse still her school ignored two pleas for help - her plight only surfaced when she had to ask a teacher for advice because her internal injuries were so severe.

Horrific though her story is, she is by no means alone - the very reason she has decided to go public.

"I just want people to know they are not the only ones."

The failure to prosecute her cousin and her family's own denial of what was happening under their noses are typical of such cases.

"I was only five years old when my godfather put his hand up my skirt. He told me this is the way we show we love you. I thought it must be normal, I was too young to know.

"As I got older things got worse. He would attack me every weekend when I with at my auntie's when my mum was working. He would get me alone, he would stop when he thought someone was coming.

"When my mother was there he would try to keep as close as possible so I couldn't say anything.

"But sometimes he took a chance when people were around, touching me as we all watched TV, my cousins and aunt were there.

"He was seeing how far he could push it."

Fear kept her silent most of the time while her family had little interest when she tried to alert them.

"He told he would kill my family and then me, that kept my mouth shut all those years.

"When I was seven I told my mum he had touched me and I didn't like it. She said it had probably been a mistake and I shouldn't worry about it.

"A couple of months later I told my sister he had exposed himself in front of me.

"She said it was nothing to worry about and he was just messing with my head, that it was just a joke.

"He tried to do it with another cousin but she is more confident than me and she told him to go away. I was always the quiet one, I guess that's why he chose me.

"When I was eight years-old it become more sexual."

Helen was forced to perform ever more revolting acts as her tormentor grew more extreme.

"One time I was sick afterwards and he hit me. I went home with a black eye. I told my mum I had been in a fight at school."

Her mum saw no harm in her outgoing nephew.

"He would always come across as though he was trying to help someone, he would smile at everybody. He was seen as a kind, level-headed man.

"Some time later I found out he had been abused as a kid himself. Maybe he thought if someone did it to him, then he could do it to someone else."

The years of abuse took their toll on Helen's whole world.

"I wouldn't listen at school, I didn't have any friends because I started to keep to myself. I was just closed off from everybody and became a bit of a rebel.

"Things got worse. I was transferred to a different school my teacher thought I was dumb."

In secondary school Helen found an outlet in English and music while her other grades continued to plummet.

"My teachers wouldn't push me to get work done but I got A's in English and Music where I could express myself and get my frustrations out.

"When I was 14 I was asked to write a questionnaire about why I wasn't doing very well at school. I wrote about what was happening to me, my teacher read it and gave me a look. I told her too but nobody did anything about it.

"I wonder how many students did the same thing and no one did anything about it.

"A few months later I was raped. Our family went to the beach in St. David's. I swam to get away from him and he followed me and raped me."

A pregnancy scare finally ended the attacks.

"He raped me in August 1995, by November I still hadn't had a period. I got a lift with a teacher and I told her about a friend who had this problem.

"The teacher slammed on the brakes and said I was lying. She asked who was touching me.

"I felt I had a chance to get help and told her he had raped me. She called the Police."

Helen says doctors found she had internal damage so severe it had caused a blockage. But no DNA evidence incriminating her attacker could be found.

"They gave me a blood test. I had to have a Hepatitis B vaccination because they believed he had it.

"They didn't press charges because of a lack of evidence. My mum just accepted it.

"We didn't discuss it, I was disowned by my entire family, no one acknowledged me. Only now do some of them acknowledge my existence.

"It made me crazy. In three years I had four nervous breakdowns, I had brain seizures where I would blank out and lose my memory. I would stare into space for a couple of hours.

"There were times when I had to be rushed to hospital to be sedated to calm me down. I needed sleeping pills because I couldn't sleep. I was suicidal and tried to kill myself four times. Twice I slashed my wrists, I tried over dosing on my medication and I mixed aspirin with liquor.

"I stopped the counselling when I was 16, it was a waste of time. I was diagnosed with clinical depression and was deemed as a danger to myself and other people."

Again Helen found self expression a vital therapy.

"I started singing and writing, I became a good writer."

But physical and mental problems dogged her making it difficult to work and when Helen had a daughter, after a difficult pregnancy, her mum kicked her out of the family home.

Now she has lost custody of her child and is facing eviction from her apartment.

While Helen is candid about the rage she has experienced she is far from the bitter victim that her experience might have made of a less hardy person.

Amiable and articulate, you see in Helen a soul who could have done a lot if one individual hadn't preyed on her.

She says: "I wanted to be a teacher and work with children but now I am just trying to get my daughter back.

"I would like to set up a safe house to teach people like me to learn how to take care of themselves by taking care of animals and other people. I like children and old people, I just don't like the people in between."

But aged just 20 it is too early to write Helen off.

As she says: "When I put my mind to something I tend to do it."