Or was it a chronic case of selective amnesia, jolly useful for wriggling off the hook of an awkward question? Whatever, Premier the Hon. Sir John Swan sent eyebrows shooting up to hairlines during Monday night's News and Views programme on ZBM.

Asked by a caller who would spring to Bermuda's defence in the event of an invasion, Sir John looked momentarily perplexed.

But as the camera lens zoomed in, the brow unfurled.

And then viewers were treated to something along the lines of: "People don't invade like they used to in the '40s. The last invasion I remember is Vietnam.'' So, with the deftest sleight of tongue, or perhaps memory, Sir John had wiped from the books many a bothersome example of man's inhumanity to his neighbour.

Afghanistan, the Falklands, Iran and Kuwait, are but a few of the names that come to mind.

The world according to Sir John seems a much chummier place than the genuine article.

* * * Does Bermuda need another Ross Perot? Like it or not, the famous part-time resident of Tucker's Town has been joined by a political soulmate.

Billionaire Silvio Berlusconi, known as "the Italian Ross Perot'', is a neighbour of the former presidential candidate.

Berlusconi is a fabulously wealthy media tycoon who has started his own conservative political party.

Apart from presiding over Europe's largest private TV network, he owns Italy's top supermarket chain, book publisher and football team -- AC Milan. His Forza Italia (Go Italy) party has the support of 24 percent of voters, making it the most popular in the country.

His home, the beautiful Blue Horizons, is believed to be in the name of his daughter Marina. He is a regular visitor to the retreat.

* * * There was a communications problem at Wednesday's official hearing into new high-tech communications services.

When the event got under way at Cathedral Hall, nothing could be heard over the pounding of heavy construction machinery near the building.

Chairman the Hon. John Stubbs apologised for the noise. The workers had apparently been told to keep quiet, he said.

"Even in well-managed Bermuda, sometimes these things happen.'' There was some discussion between panel members the Hon. Charles Collis and Mr. Vincent Ingham, new senior vice-president of Belco, over whether the work was being done by the electric light company.

Mr. Ingham seemed to think this was unlikely. But as Dr. Stubbs pointed out: "It's a big organisation, Vince.'' Eventually Mr. Ingham went outside to see for himself.

The workers weren't exactly Belco employees, he revealed. They were contractors working on a sub-station for the company.

Whoever they were, his visit had the desired effect.

* * * Strewth! What's this, cobber, an ad for a job in Baaarmoooda? Where's the hell's that, mate? The Attorney General is obviously scouting far and wide -- and even down under -- to fill up his rapidly emptying chambers.

For vacancies for two senior lawyers have just been advertised in Australia's Sydney Morning Herald .

And the enticement for our Aussie pals? Between $73,117 and $79,272 a year.

Of course, that may not be tempting enough to those from the land of Crocodile Dundee, sun-kissed beaches and surfboards.

So how about $86,568 a year for a Parliamentary Counsel? The post is also advertised.

Bermuda's solicitor general Mr. Barrie Meade says he was delighted and relieved the ads had appeared.

"Thank you for telling me. I haven't seen them.'' Mr. Meade pointed out the AG's Chambers were also scouring Canada, London and Hong Kong for applicants.

"We are looking for fairly senior people,'' he said.

Mr. Meade added he would certainly welcome the right man from down under.

"We've had people in our chambers before from Australia.'' * * * The Governor, a former home affairs minister in the British government, must be glad he is now thousands of miles away.

Because it seems the country's gun lobby are still seething over rules he introduced governing shooting clubs, more than four years ago.

The British magazine Guns Review, in its February edition, accuses him of "disgraceful behaviour'' in bringing in the regulations.

The new rules followed two incidents, says the magazine: the shooting of a Policeman with a gun stolen from a car parked at a rifle range, and the shooting of a club member by a deranged fellow-member.

The magazine says Lord Waddington was approached by officials from the same area of the country he served as an MP.

The officials were "rabidly anti-gun'', says Guns Review.

"Being new to his post and presumably wanting to show everyone that he now possessed real power, he announced major restrictions on clubs without a word of consultation and, we believe, without even telling his civil servants.

"In classic style, he opened his mouth without putting his brain in gear and rifle and pistol clubs have been paying the price ever since.

"Circumstances which were in themselves, rare and unusual, were distorted by an anti-gun lobby which had a special `in' with a newly-appointed Home Secretary whose abilities may be judged by his very short tenure in that office.'' The magazine's volley of criticism is, however, way off target. It believes Lord Waddington was an MP in Manchester, which he was not.

It is also under the impression that he is "Governor of the Bahamas''.

* * * A letter sent to The Royal Gazette had journalists scrambling to check their facts.

It appears a Government section has been formed to deal with errors in media stories.

The letter, from Commissioner of Prisons Mr. Edward L. Dyer, was headed "Bermuda Department of Corrections'' and started: "I am writing on behalf of the Bermuda Prison Service to correct errors in a story...'' It goes on to state that there will be no tennis court in the new prison, but prisoners will have a toilet and sink in their cells, and a shower and tub in each housing unit. There will be no cable television, only local television -- a harsh sentence in itself.

What is worrying local journalists is whether the Department of Corrections will use the West Correctional Facility to incarcerate those who make the odd mistake? And will the defence of "we are only human'' be enough to reduce the sentence if we spell Mr. Dyer's name wrong?