York yesterday scoffed at claims he flew to Bermuda to wrong-foot the world's media.

Balding Mr. Ian Bulmer ridiculed reports he engaged in an elaborate ploy to take the heat off Mr. Johnny Bryan.

And he said his life had been plunged into turmoil by a scandal-hungry media -- and people mistaking him for the American.

"It has been an absolute nightmare,'' he told The Royal Gazette , after we had tracked him down to his hotel.

"It is barking mad to say I was some kind of decoy -- completely ludicrous. I have never even met Mr. Bryan.

"All I want is to be left alone. I am on business here, and I hope coming forward like this will give me some peace.'' English travel boss Mr. Bulmer admitted, however, he did have some ties to Britain's Royal family.

And he attended the fairy tale wedding of Prince Andrew and Fergie.

The tall, 42-year-old bachelor has been caught up in a media storm since his flight to Bermuda last Saturday.

Speaking with a cultured English accent, he told The Royal Gazette how frenzied photographers and goggle-eyed passengers had plagued him at Gatwick airport.

A baggage-handler, keen to jump on the bandwagon, had even rushed up to him to take a photo.

Wearing sun-glasses and a Panama hat, he cut a distinctive figure, lending fuel to the gossip-mongers and scandal-hunters.

But Londoner Mr. Bulmer explained: "I always dress like this when going away.

I wear glasses because I have an eye allergy.'' Once on board, there was still no let-up -- even in the first-class seats.

"Someone, I believe a newspaper, got a friend of Mr. Bryan to come and sit by me to check who I was.

"There were also people peering through the curtains, and gossiping about me behind my back.'' In Bermuda it was more of the same, bar the insistent Fleet Street snappers.

As English tabloid papers delivered a steady stream of Royal `exclusives', Mr.

Bulmer's nightmare grew worse.

"Everywhere I went people were watching me, in the shops or on the beaches.

"I couldn't even lie on the beach today without being pestered. I had been hiding behind a rock, but it got so bad I gave up and left.'' He added: "What has struck me more than anything over the last few days is the terrible hostility towards Mr. Bryan. People obviously don't like him from what they have shouted at me.'' Mr. Bulmer said he had been constantly assailed by insults, mainly from Englishmen outraged by pictures of Fergie's South of France frolics in British tabloid The Daily Mirror.

Many shouted out "Johnny'', and one even screamed: "Leave the b**** alone.'' Mr. Bulmer said the scandal of the Royal pictures had even landed him in hot water with his mother.

"She picked up a paper and couldn't believe it when she saw me cavorting with Fergie!'' And Mr. Bulmer believes his Royal saga may yet have another chapter.

He's heard rumours a newspaper may send a Fergie lookalike to Gatwick to greet him when he returns to Britain tomorrow.

DOUBLE TROUBLE -- Mr. Ian Bulmer, left, with the Panama hat and sun-glasses which had eyes on stalks at Gatwick Airport as passengers mistook him for Fergie friend Mr. Johnny Bryan, right.