according to Works Minister the Hon. Leonard Gibbons -- unless the Queen is visiting.

Then the roads are repaired immediately.

Or so it seems on South Road, close to Bermuda College, where the resurfacing is already underway.

Her Majesty's comfort is upmost in the minds of the organisers of the Royal Visit in March.

There will be no rough rides for Her Majesty as she is chauffeured around in Governor Lord Waddington's Daimler.

*** PERCHED aloft in the Speaker's chair in the House of Assembly, the UBP's bespectacled and very youthful Tim Smith often looks just like a prefect, keeping a beady eye on members of the school debating society.

Occasionally, as Deputy Speaker, he will have to bring some of the more unruly pupils to order with a sharp tap of his little hammer.

"Tighten up your arguments,'' was a regular ticking off during this week's all-night sitting of the House.

It was delivered with scrupulous fairness, in the best traditions of all schoolboy goody-goodies.

But being watched over by someone so very much younger -- and thoroughly squeaky clean to boot -- must give one or two party warhorses pause for thought.

It certainly did so for the PLP's deputy leader Walter Roberts, who often carries the battle-weary look of someone who has spent his political life in opposition.

Now turned 60, he is one of the two remaining members of the House's original class of '63.

Passing by the Speaker's chair on Monday night, he stopped, shook his head and sighed to its youthful occupant: "You were just three years old when I entered the House!'' *** ANOTHER new kid on the political block is the UBP's Jerome Dill, also youthful, squeaky clean and with the appearance to some of being rather pleased with himself.

"Every time I rise the Opposition tries to shout me down,'' Mr. Dill protested during this week's debate on the Referendum Bill.

The chamber was immediately filled with Opposition mutterings of "it's because you're so arrogant''.

Standing his ground, Mr. Dill, carefully cultivating each phrase in his usual manner, went on to say how impressed he was with the "high standard'' of debate.

This was too much for Mrs. Lois Browne Evans, the grande dame of the PLP.

"You're not the school teacher marking our papers,'' she snorted.

*** IT is not often a court is asked to rule on the accuracy of a newspaper story, but The Royal Gazette passed the test in the Supreme Court on Thursday.

During a hearing related to the Televest Ltd. case, lawyer Mr. Julian Hall opened his remarks by complaining of a "gross inaccuracy'' in the newspaper's account of proceedings of the previous day. The article said Mr. Hall was the lawyer for three of Televest's directors.

That was wrong, he argued.

"I act for Televest,'' Mr. Hall told Puisne Judge the Hon. Mr. Justice Ground. "I think I'm entitled to know whether the court accepts that I represent Televest Ltd.'' The judge said that whom Mr. Hall acted for was "a material point in the case,'' upon which he would have to make a decision. "For me to express a view on that would cause me to jump ahead,'' he said.

"It's plain that you're instructed by the three directors,'' he said. "If the newspaper is saying you act for three directors, I suspect it has got it right.'' *** TOURISM Minister the Hon. C.V. (Jim) Woolridge is usually grateful for any television coverage Bermuda receives in the United States -- but he was probably relieved the Island was not named on a recent spot on "America's Funniest Home Videos''.

A video showed a male visitor driving a moped -- with a licence plate which looked identical to livery cycle plates in Bermuda -- on a training circle.

He successfully drove arund the first turn, then continued straight, over the curb and straight into some typically Bermudian bushes.