after the deal is a pair of twos.

The player across from you has a full house, the player on your left has four-of-a-kind and the player on your right has a royal flush. You've been dealt a bad hand and there's little you can do about it.

Whatever words you use to describe that disappointment and frustration can be applied to how Gabrielle (her name has been changed to protect her identity) feels each day of her life.

For she has been dealt a bad hand, time and time again over her 45 years.

"It is hard to talk about it,'' she said.

Fate dealt her a particularly awful hand on a date now etched in her memory -- September 9, 1997 -- when a simple trip to the grocery store became a nightmare.

Gabrielle recalled the fateful day for The Royal Gazette : "My baby and I were staying with her daddy. I asked him to watch the baby that day while I went to the Shopping Centre to pick up some baby food.

"He went behind my back and called Family Services and told them to come and get the baby because it was costing him too much money.

"Then he put me out on the street and threw away all my clothes and all my furniture.'' Within the space of a day she lost her child and her home.

Gabrielle's baby will turn four on November 2 and is being looked after by foster parents. To get her back, Gabrielle has to find work and a home.

It is the youngest of her three children. Her 17-year-old daughter is in school in Canada having graduated from Berkeley Institute last year.

Gabrielle's oldest sister is paying for her to attend college.

Her son is 19 and lives with Gabrielle's mother and father in Bermuda. After becoming homeless, Gabrielle said she went to the Health Ministry for help and was told that something would be found for her but nothing ever materialised.

Fate then dealt her another bad hand.

Gabrielle was diagnosed HIV-positive. Doctors determined she had contracted the disease through a blood transfusion.

The discovery led her to try killing herself after she kept getting sick and could not find work or somewhere to live.

"No one will hire me because I've got this stuff (HIV),'' she said.

"They throw it in my face all the time. Why? I didn't bring it on myself. I got it from a blood transfusion. I have never done drugs in my life. I don't even drink.'' It all got too much for her, continued Gabrielle, so she tried to take her life by overdosing on some pills. She was discovered and rescued and seems back on track.

Gabrielle had managed to secure a bed at the Salvation Army Shelter for $5 a night after being kicked out on the street.

But the benefits of having a roof over her head were counteracted by the damp conditions at the shelter which saw her catch pneumonia and have to be hospitalised four times.

After the last time she was hospitalised, the shelter gave her bed to someone else. It also kept her clothing.

Losing her bed at the shelter was a mixed blessing, she noted.

"My doctor said that if I went back to the shelter I would end up back in hospital. Because I am HIV-positive I have to eat right and get lots of rest but you cannot do that at the shelter.

"A person like me with HIV needs help and somewhere to stay. I have gone from 160 to 138 pounds because I can't afford to eat.'' Losing her place at the shelter has forced her to live in the street, sleeping in parks and sometimes in a cave on North Shore.

Gabrielle works as a volunteer and also does odd jobs like packing bags at grocery stores when she gets the chance.

She has received little help from some members of her family.

"All my sisters got their own houses,'' she noted. "They don't say `come and stay with me' or `let me take the baby'. They're all for their selves. They tell me it's my problem. I haven't got any clothes to put on. They all own houses.'' Meanwhile she has desperately hunted for employment and a house without luck.

"I am willing to do anything, I just want to work.'' As far as her housing search went, Gabrielle noted: "It's just me. There's nothing out there. People want too much money. It's a thousand a month just for a studio. I can't stay out on the street -- winter's coming.'' But she pointed out that there's places where she could stay.

"They (Bermuda Housing Corporation) say they ain't got nothing. I don't understand it. Club Med's down there doing nothing. The old St. George's Secondary School could be rented out as rooms. It is sitting up there doing nothing.

"It's just not right.'' The search for work and a home has been made more desperate by the fact that Gabrielle has to have somewhere to live if she is going to get her baby back.

"They told me that if I do not find somewhere to stay by the time I go back to court in November then my baby will be put up for adoption. I have got to get her a place or I won't ever get my baby back.

"All I need is somewhere to stay and a job and I can get my baby back.

"I get scared when I think about it but what can I do?'' Nameless faces: Many women like Gabrielle feel completely abandoned by both family and support groups.