Azhanae: helping others in unresolved trauma
Azhanae' Oliver is offering healing to her peers through her faith-based coaching business. The trauma recovery coach uses her own experiences to help her clients at Love AJLX work through trauma and find peace in Christ.
“I was victim to sexual abuse as a child beginning at age 4, followed by severe psychological abuse well into my late teens and early twenties,” said Ms Oliver, who grew up in the US. “My entire life was chaotic and unsafe. I was relocated to Bermuda, by my maternal grandmother, once I broke the silence on my abuse in 2015.”
Although the move took her away from the cause of her trauma, the destructive behaviours that often accompany abuse followed her here.
“Unresolved trauma will follow you everywhere you go until it is addressed,” the 25-year-old said. “I spiralled into destructive alcoholism, low self-esteem, violence and back-to-back toxic relationships until landing in a domestic violence relationship in 2018 that changed my life.
“It was in that rock bottom that I surrendered to a power greater than myself to pull me out of my pain.”
God helped her to learn “how to love the body I was born in, how to protect it and honour it”.
She also discovered how to help others do the same.
“Giving my heart to Christ didn't just heal my wounds; it changed my character and my outlook on life,” said Ms Oliver, who no longer drinks alcohol or takes drugs, and was baptised into the Hamilton Seventh-day Adventist Church on April 1.
The experience also taught her the importance of finding healing while young.
“For young people, starting the healing process as early as possible is vital to their overall quality of life. Your wounds are never your fault, but your healing is your responsibility. Taking ownership and agency over your healing will save you a lot of heartache and pain.
“I was destroying my life every day I avoided addressing the alarms going off inside me. You will repeat what you don't repair.
“Confront truth early on and then get active in doing something about what you find so that you can build the life you deserve. Healing begins the moment you want it to.”
The changes she went through “broke the cycle” in her family. “I changed the future. Every time I coach another cycle breaker, they change the future, too.”
Her coaching ministry is the culmination of her own personal healing and faith journey and desire to help others. “My trauma history made me believe that I was supposed to get a fancy degree, have lots of letters behind my name, make lots of money — and then I would matter,” she said. “If I could just get educated and rich, I would be safe and happy.
“God revealed to me as He was clearing out those limiting beliefs; that this was incorrect. The only thing that would make me truly happy, was genuine love for myself and for others. I could achieve this by using the gifts I was created with. So, I leant into them.
“I alchemised my pain and passion for teaching into life coaching, used my artistic gifts to write and design the channel to communicate and market that work, and ultimately combined both with Heaven's ministry and message.”
Ms Oliver is happy that she is finally existing within God's purpose for her life, having followed her call into life coaching.
“Coaching affirms for me that I'm walking in my purpose because I'm able to use all of my gifts, serve others and serve God. There is no greater joy than to be able to help others across the bridge I had to cross. And Kingdom work is the most honourable work there is.
“Every time I see someone claim the promise on their lives and their salvation, I feel full.”
She's offering two programmes to people interested in a holistic and faith-based approach to healing.
The first spans eight weeks and is called “Relationship Reset”. “It is completely one-on-one, structured with full education on everything from consciousness, childhood wounds and trauma bonds, to coping mechanisms, emotional regulation and boundary setting,” she said.
The second programme lasts six weeks. Also one-on-one, it is better suited to “someone who is ready to receive support, but may not be ready to dig all the way in yet”.
“This is also an option for those who have completed traditional therapy before or finished Relationship Reset and would like to receive maintenance support, like a weekly check-in where I hold space and provide feedback,” she added.
Her hope is to help change lives with the tools she teaches although her priority is her relationship with God. “My faith is at the centre of my coaching work and my art. You can have all the tips and tools in the world, and healing will not truly happen without Jesus.
“His love fills voids and provides a clarity that human efforts can't. “Everything I do, I do with God, for His glory and for the deliverance of others.”
• Contact Azhanae' Oliver on Instagram, @loveajlx, or visit www.loveajlx.com