Hey now, congratulations, your team won … well done Bermuda!

One of the perks of ageing is getting a free bus pass and of course becoming wiser — or so it should be.

When I was younger, I was quick to look outward when things didn't go my way. Today, I begin by looking inward. I examine my own thoughts, words, and actions, reflecting on both successes and setbacks. Growth begins with self-reflection, and I've learnt that the greatest lessons often come from honestly evaluating myself before anyone else.

Truer words could not have been spoken when MJ said “ … start with the man in the mirror”.

When life isn't going our way, our first instinct is often to look outward. We blame difficult people, unfair circumstances, bad luck, or the hand we've been dealt. Sometimes those things genuinely are responsible.

Life can be painful, and many hardships are beyond our control. But what if, every now and then, the person standing in the way of our progress is staring back at us in the mirror; perhaps we should ask ourselves: “Could I be part of the problem?”

That is not an easy question to ask. It requires honesty, humility, and the courage to admit that perhaps some of our disappointments are the result of our own choices, attitudes, or reactions. Yet it is precisely this uncomfortable self-examination that opens the door to real growth.

The Koran directs our attention inward before outward. Allah says: “Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves.” (Koran 13:11).

This timeless verse reminds us that lasting change begins long before our circumstances improve. It begins with our hearts, our thinking, our habits, and our willingness to take responsibility.

How often do we blame a failed relationship without examining our own communication? Complain about our finances while ignoring poor spending habits? Feel stuck in life while resisting change, discipline, or learning something new?

None of us is perfect, and none of us gets everything wrong — but neither are we always innocent victims of circumstance.

Allah also tells us: “Whatever good befalls you is from Allah, and whatever misfortune befalls you is because of what your own hands have earned.” (Koran 4:79).

This does not mean every hardship is a punishment. Islam teaches that trials may be tests, opportunities for spiritual growth, or a means of expiating sins. But it also reminds us not to dismiss the possibility that our own actions sometimes contribute to the consequences we experience.

One of the clearest examples of this is found in the Battle of Uhud. Our beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings upon him) carefully positioned a group of archers on a hill and instructed them not to abandon their post under any circumstances.

As the Muslims appeared to be winning, many of the archers left their position to collect the spoils of war, believing the battle was over. Their decision left a critical gap in the Muslim defence, allowing the enemy to launch a surprise attack that turned victory into painful defeat. Many Muslims were martyred, and the Prophet himself was injured.

After the battle, rather than simply blaming the enemy, Allah directed the believers to reflect on their own actions: “What! When a single disaster struck you, although you had struck the enemy with one twice as great, you said, ‘From where did this come?’ Say, ‘It is from yourselves.’” (Koran 3:165)

This was not a rebuke intended to humiliate them. It was a lesson that sincere believers are not immune from the consequences of poor decisions or failing to follow divine guidance. Accountability is not about dwelling on our mistakes — it is about learning from them so that we do not repeat them.

Prophet Muhammad reinforced this principle when he said: “The strong person is not the one who defeats others in wrestling, but the one who controls himself when angry.” (Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim).

How many broken friendships, fractured families, damaged careers and lost opportunities began not because of one major event, but because someone refused to control their anger, admit they were wrong, apologise, or forgive?

Interestingly, modern psychology echoes this same principle. Studies show that people who accept responsibility for their choices, rather than constantly blaming others or circumstances, are generally more resilient, emotionally healthier, and better equipped to overcome setbacks. They understand that while they cannot control everything that happens to them, they can always control how they respond.

Personal accountability is not about self-blame or living under a cloud of guilt. It is about reclaiming our ability to grow. The moment we stop asking, “Whose fault is this?” and begin asking, “What can I do differently?” we take the first step towards meaningful change.

Islam never leaves us trapped in regret. Alongside accountability comes hope. Allah's mercy is always within reach through sincere repentance (tawbah), and every mistake can become a lesson if we are willing to learn from it.

Perhaps the most life-changing question we can ask ourselves is not, “Why does this always happen to me?” but rather, “What is Allah teaching me through this, and what do I need to change within myself?”

The answer may not always be comfortable, but it may be exactly what we need to hear. After all, the first step towards changing our lives is often the willingness to change ourselves. My beloved mum drilled into me: “Unto thy own self be true.”

Bermuda always be reflective, honest with self and willing to own what you are the cause of and open to making positive change. Like the old Bermuda saying goes: “Bie, you better check ya self!”

Have a purposeful, reflective and safe week.

As salaam alaikum (peace be unto you).

• Linda Walia Ming is a member of the Bermuda Hijab Dawah Team, a group of Muslim women who reside in Bermuda and have a goal of educating the community about the religion of Islam