‘Twas the duplicate Christmas party ...

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Happy New Year to all my readers. hope you had a great year at and away from the table and that 2012 ends up being even better.

I’d also like to take this opportunity to thank Alan Douglas, Roman Smolski, Bill Tucker, John Burville, Joe Wakefield and Tony Saunders who have been good enough to write some guest columns through the year. They have all been great and I know you have enjoyed them.

Some important news before I start … the weekly Junior Game has now been moved to Tuesdays in 2012, so there will be no Wednesday evening game - the change became effective on January 3 .

A little bit of fun this week …here’s a hand sent to me by Dee Griffiths entitled “Merry Christmas Bridge”.

‘Twas the duplicate Christmas party and needless to say

The punch and the season had made us quite gay …

“Find your seats and shuffle” the director had said

As visions of first place danced in my head …

When I checked our position I got dry in the mouth

We’d been assigned Table #3 -North South …

Just little ole novices, my partner and me -

We’d placed fourth once - but never three…

Had fate decided to put us to the test?

With two Life Masters sitting East West…

We took our position and said not a word

But I’m certain our heartbeats could surely be heard…

Board 1. Love All. Dealer North.

S-AKQJ1098765432

H-None

D-None

C-None

S-None S-None

H-A H-J2

D-86542 D-AKQJ10973

C-J1098765 C-AKQs

S-None

H-KQ109876543

D-None

C-432

We shuffled the cards without blinking an eye

I dropped one on the floor and thought I would die…

As North, I was dealer and though I was green

I knew to open you must have points thirteen…

I spread my hand and counted, but alas With only ten points, I had to pass…

And frankly, I thought this was a shame

I’d never before had thirteen spades in a game…

My left hand opponent, East by name -

Opened “Two Diamonds” and I thought what a shame…

My partner, South, was trembling with fear

And the bid of “Two Hearts” came across to my ear…

My right hand opponent sat straight in his chair

“Three Hearts” was the bid he chose to declare…

Now I had a good suit, but alas -

With no help in hearts - I had to pass…

My left hand opponent now bid “Three Spades”

You can imagine now, how I was amazed…

My partner, South, bid “Four Hearts” and shoot

If they take the bid, I couldn’t lead her best suit…

My right hand opponent studied his hand

And soon “Seven No Trump” was his command…

It was my time to bid - and just to save face -

I doubled cause I knew they were missing the spade Ace …

The next three bids were pass, pass, pass

So I was ready to lead a spade but, alas …

My partner was nervous and she led the heart King

A lead out of turn - what a damnable thing…

The director was called and I can still hear his voice

As he told the declarer he could make his own choice…

With a singleton heart, you must understand

This could be the only entry to his hand…

So he turned to me and looking so smart

He said “Lead any suit, but don’t lead a heart”…

So, of course, I led my fourth best spade

I guess it was the best lead I ever made…

‘Cause in this hand I never lost the lead

And our opponents (Life Masters) had to concede…

Thirteen tricks we took right off the top

When we won the board I thought I would pop…

Now I ask you - with a board like this

The rest of the game - well, how could we miss?

And I overhead the director say- “Who was the lass

Who had 13 spades - and cleverly passed?”

After winning first place - and still full of fright

“Merry Christmas” we called and they all said “GOOD NIGHT”

So now you know what to do with that North Hand!

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